DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to the illustrious Jhonen Vasquez, and I
suppose also Nickelodeon and Viacom, with the exception of Larry Hotter,
who belongs to Nick Oleson and Drew Lagatutta. Don't sue me, I won't sue
you. And now:
Chapter 1-Telemarkia
It was seven o'clock in the morning and Zita was walking down the street to Skool. Actually, she wasn't really walking, rather slinking in and out of the shadows, and she wasn't really going to Skool, merely the place where Skool had used to be, on a search for something lost. Certainly Zita would never have the nerve, ever again, to strut down this street as she had just last month, showing off a cute new outfit or hot shoes, making even that dork Melvin drool, her head held high. Surely she would never enter Skool, to listen to her teacher's doomy visions, bored out of her mind in her seat behind Zim's.
Zim.
A flash of hot anger came over her at the thought of that slime Zim. Zim was the reason she was slinking down a dark alleyway like a common criminal, like Melvin, for God's sake, when he escaped from Torque Smackey or some other bully. Zim was the reason she would never go to Skool again, the reason Skool wasn't even around anymore. And Zim was the reason most of her friends, classmates, and family had been captured and enslaved, taken to labor in one of the many skyscrapers that now covered Earth, now known as Telemarkia, one of Irk's more annoying conquests. Zita had been fortunate enough to escape capture on the first rounding-up by hiding in the last place anyone sane would ever go-the library. After that, it had been easy to avoid capture, skulking down the dreary alleyways of her old hometown and what was now Telemarkia's capital, the place where THE ONE, the Almighty Shortest, Zim himself, made his residence, by night, and sleeping in the library, which for some reason had been left standing, by day. She had no desire to work in one of those oddly sinister eggshell colored buildings, making intergalactic phone calls all day, though the old Zita had quite enjoyed chatting on the phone all night with her friends.
Now, as Zita slunk down the alley back to the library, a bit later than she normally did, she hoped she would not be caught. She highly doubted anything would come of being out in the day, however: to her, the Irkens seemed oddly stupid for a race that had conquered quite a few planets. She wondered just how Zim had gotten it together enough to conquer the planet; perhaps he had enlisted the help of the ugly little alien Skoodge, whom she had seen Zim with the night before the Armada came: he had introduced him as "my, erm...cousin...from, uh, Czechoslovakia." Indeed, Skoodge seemed dense as well, as did the aliens who had come on the conquering Armada the day after. The two tallest of them sat around, whined, ate junk food of a peculiar sort, screamed in agony over rain showers, and reluctantly credited Zim with conquering the planet; it appeared Zim had one day gotten a call from a telemarketer and decided Earth could be the Irken's telemarketing site: apparently just the idea was enough to make the Armada come to help conquer (the opportunity to annoy the entire universe was too good to pass up, to the Tallests). Within a matter of months, they had completely razed the entire surface of Earth and erected a number of corporate eggshell colored skyscrapers, all with the Irken symbol on them. By the looks of them, Zita would have bet her spleen that they had coarse gray carpet inside.
As Zita neared the library doors, she saw something that made her heart nearly stop: what she recognized as one of the SIR units that had been roaming Telemarkia trying to pick up more phone slaves was standing right in front of the library. She debated turning and making a run for it before it spotted her, then realized it was licking a cardboard sandwich and watching a stationary poster of Larry Hotter in the library window with as great an interest as if it had been The Scary Monkey Show. This confused her so much she stopped to watch the little robot, realizing it was aqua in contrast to most SIR units' red color. Maybe it wasn't harmful after all, Zita thought to herself, and at any rate it seemed so engrossed in Larry Hotter that she could most likely sneak past it. She began to tiptoe past toward the door when the SIR turned around. It stared at her for a second, then screamed, "KITTY??!! WHERE!!!??" and catapulted itself at her head. Upon striking the side of her head, it turned red and yelled "INTRUDER!" It took a running start, flew at her, and as it struck her head again, harder this time, Zita fell to the ground. She had never been one to black out, so as she lay there, crazy SIR on top of her, all went chartreuse.
A/N: Oh my goodness it's an author's note, all groan collectively. This is the first chapter in my "baby", my fic where I singlehandedly float the Dib/Zita ship. That's right, this will eventually be Dib/Zita. Now review...review for tuna. Flames will be used to conquer this cesspool you filthy worm babies call Earth.
Chapter 1-Telemarkia
It was seven o'clock in the morning and Zita was walking down the street to Skool. Actually, she wasn't really walking, rather slinking in and out of the shadows, and she wasn't really going to Skool, merely the place where Skool had used to be, on a search for something lost. Certainly Zita would never have the nerve, ever again, to strut down this street as she had just last month, showing off a cute new outfit or hot shoes, making even that dork Melvin drool, her head held high. Surely she would never enter Skool, to listen to her teacher's doomy visions, bored out of her mind in her seat behind Zim's.
Zim.
A flash of hot anger came over her at the thought of that slime Zim. Zim was the reason she was slinking down a dark alleyway like a common criminal, like Melvin, for God's sake, when he escaped from Torque Smackey or some other bully. Zim was the reason she would never go to Skool again, the reason Skool wasn't even around anymore. And Zim was the reason most of her friends, classmates, and family had been captured and enslaved, taken to labor in one of the many skyscrapers that now covered Earth, now known as Telemarkia, one of Irk's more annoying conquests. Zita had been fortunate enough to escape capture on the first rounding-up by hiding in the last place anyone sane would ever go-the library. After that, it had been easy to avoid capture, skulking down the dreary alleyways of her old hometown and what was now Telemarkia's capital, the place where THE ONE, the Almighty Shortest, Zim himself, made his residence, by night, and sleeping in the library, which for some reason had been left standing, by day. She had no desire to work in one of those oddly sinister eggshell colored buildings, making intergalactic phone calls all day, though the old Zita had quite enjoyed chatting on the phone all night with her friends.
Now, as Zita slunk down the alley back to the library, a bit later than she normally did, she hoped she would not be caught. She highly doubted anything would come of being out in the day, however: to her, the Irkens seemed oddly stupid for a race that had conquered quite a few planets. She wondered just how Zim had gotten it together enough to conquer the planet; perhaps he had enlisted the help of the ugly little alien Skoodge, whom she had seen Zim with the night before the Armada came: he had introduced him as "my, erm...cousin...from, uh, Czechoslovakia." Indeed, Skoodge seemed dense as well, as did the aliens who had come on the conquering Armada the day after. The two tallest of them sat around, whined, ate junk food of a peculiar sort, screamed in agony over rain showers, and reluctantly credited Zim with conquering the planet; it appeared Zim had one day gotten a call from a telemarketer and decided Earth could be the Irken's telemarketing site: apparently just the idea was enough to make the Armada come to help conquer (the opportunity to annoy the entire universe was too good to pass up, to the Tallests). Within a matter of months, they had completely razed the entire surface of Earth and erected a number of corporate eggshell colored skyscrapers, all with the Irken symbol on them. By the looks of them, Zita would have bet her spleen that they had coarse gray carpet inside.
As Zita neared the library doors, she saw something that made her heart nearly stop: what she recognized as one of the SIR units that had been roaming Telemarkia trying to pick up more phone slaves was standing right in front of the library. She debated turning and making a run for it before it spotted her, then realized it was licking a cardboard sandwich and watching a stationary poster of Larry Hotter in the library window with as great an interest as if it had been The Scary Monkey Show. This confused her so much she stopped to watch the little robot, realizing it was aqua in contrast to most SIR units' red color. Maybe it wasn't harmful after all, Zita thought to herself, and at any rate it seemed so engrossed in Larry Hotter that she could most likely sneak past it. She began to tiptoe past toward the door when the SIR turned around. It stared at her for a second, then screamed, "KITTY??!! WHERE!!!??" and catapulted itself at her head. Upon striking the side of her head, it turned red and yelled "INTRUDER!" It took a running start, flew at her, and as it struck her head again, harder this time, Zita fell to the ground. She had never been one to black out, so as she lay there, crazy SIR on top of her, all went chartreuse.
A/N: Oh my goodness it's an author's note, all groan collectively. This is the first chapter in my "baby", my fic where I singlehandedly float the Dib/Zita ship. That's right, this will eventually be Dib/Zita. Now review...review for tuna. Flames will be used to conquer this cesspool you filthy worm babies call Earth.
