Disclaimer: The only characters I own are the ones you don't recognise. It sucks I know.

Summary: There were two things in school that caused Melanie Carter to violently eye roll at the drop of a hat: Idiots, and Show Choir. Read the dramas of Glee through the eyes of an innocent bystander who would much rather be at home watching C-SPAN, in case you were wondering.

AN: The only romance that will be seen is the stuff represented in the TV show, complete with snarky commentary and missing moments starting just after episode 5. This first chapter is just a character introduction, the next chapters will be chock filled with the shows characters you know and love.


There are a number of things that I hated about wanting to get into a good college.

Having to take U.S History with Mr. Hackwell, who probably didn't know the Cold War was over, let alone the difference between a Post Revisionist and an Orthodox historical perspective was one of them. Occasional participation as a Mathlete throughout the year (and in turn getting my car egged) was another. Of all of the ridiculous things I participated in however, the one that caused her the most pain, the most humiliation and that looked best on a college transcript, the four syllables that made me shudder as I read them on my day planner were these: peer tutoring.

I know what you're thinking "Peer tutoring? What the hell is she whinging about? Help some special-ed kids get a better education, write it down as an extracurricular and leave school feeling a little better about your self that day".

Well, you've probably never had to explain irony to a 16-year-old who's flunking English and has taken one too many footballs to the head. I'm just glad I'm not Zachary Oberman, he tutors math and chemistry to a couple of the cherieos, and I can only imagine that would be like extracting teeth, without the satisfaction of a job well done.

We did it anyway though because certain activities said things on a transcript.

Peer tutoring said "I'm smart". Peer tutoring said "I care".

Peer tutoring said "I, a school aged intellectual, am big enough to get over the fact the people I'm tutoring have on many occasions tried to make my life a living hell and I am using my intelligence to improve their chances of graduating", or at least I hoped it did. Otherwise, I was screwed.

So there I was, sitting in a classroom with a number of my contemporaries, lesson plan set out and a list of three names in front of me. For one year I had had to tutor Noah Puckerman. One painful year. Now, it appeared, his friend, Finn Hudson was joining him. That was, if Noah Puckerman ever wanted to show up.

In lieu of checking my watch for the fourth time I wracked my brain for any reason, apart from laziness and complete disregard for anyone but his Mohawked self, that Noah Puckerman would be late, and then it hit me.

Glee club.

I tried not to think about it too hard. The idea of the guy who locked George Edwards in a utilities closet overnight for admitting he watched and enjoyed Gossip Girl, participating in anything other than cougar hunting and attending post game keggers was too much for my brain to cope with. It was because of this I pretended it simply didn't exist and thanks to my general avoidance of all things show choir, I managed.

We hadn't had a tutoring session since he had joined however, so it stood to reason, he was in the auditorium harmonizing, or something equally as camp and therefore couldn't come to a lowly tutoring session.

In the surrounding room each of the peer tutors had been joined by their prospective charges and I was the only one sitting alone. The supervising Math teacher had disappeared behind his marking and I considered pushing out of my chair and going to the auditorium, at least to organise a more appropriate time. It was going to be an effort (the auditorium was on the other side of the school) but it was better than sitting in a room full of slow learners and frustrated honours students, pretending to look affronted and checking my watch for show.

Honestly, if Noah Puckerman didn't want to come to tutoring, I didn't care. I still had two other tutes lined up and it still went on my record as an extracurricular, the supervisor however seemed to be under the impression that I took my position as tutor very seriously (after all I was the only student with a lesson plan) and I didn't really feel like altering that perception for him.

"Mr. Lee?" I asked from my desk "I think my tutee has a rehearsal, can I go see if he's in the auditorium?"

Mr. Lee waved towards the door from behind the paper he was grading and I took it as my chance to stand up, cross the floor, and leave.

***

My glasses had a bad habit of sliding down my nose at inopportune moments. During speeches, when meeting people for the first time, whenever I tried to look anything other than dorky (a feat I rarely tried to accomplish now) my glasses would slide down my nose and I'd have to push them back up, establishing myself as the nerdiest most awkward person in the school. Well, no, that wasn't entirely true. Seth Walker was the nerdiest most awkward person in the school, I was the invisible geek who somehow managed to avoid getting terrorised too much at school (it's called keeping your head down, you'd think after two years of slushies to the face other members of the student body would have caught on to it as well) whilst maintaining the second highest GPA in the grade.

Anyway, the point was, my glasses were determined to have me socially ostracised.

"Um excuse me" I walked into the auditorium to face a group of mismatched students all looking at me like they'd never seen someone pair a band T-shirt with argyle before.

"Oh, come on in Melanie" Mr Shuester beckoned me and I shuffled out from the door way grinning a little awkwardly "What can we do for you?"

I could see Noah Puckerman staring at me like I'd grown another head and I felt my glasses creep closer to the end of my nose. Clearing my throat and trying to ignore both of the distractions I spoke in what I hoped was a nonchalant but controlled tone.

I think it would have worked better had I not started with 'Um'

"Um, it's just, I usually tutor Noah Puckerman now, it's part of the peer tutoring program the school does and I was just wondering if he was still doing it since he's got" I could feel the laugh bubbling at the back of my throat and I ignored it, instead focusing on the fact my glasses were travelling with increasing speed to the tip of my nose, I cleared my throat "Glee Club now if he wanted to organise another time or just stop his participation in the tutoring sessions" My restraint broke and I used my index finger to shove my glasses back up my nose as I half smiled around the room.

A very large part of my brain was screaming at him to say that he would no longer be attending tutoring sessions. That he weighed up his options and decided that he would rather sing harmonies with Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel than learn about Hamlet with me. It would mean one free hour and a half that I usually didn't have on a Tuesday and that I'd never have to speak to him again. Oh and how I wished that was the case. I had come to the conclusion the year before that my locker being next to his had some sort of negative affect on my IQ, I can only imagine the intellectual wonders I could achieve if I literally dropped all contact with him.

I really thought he was going to say it, say 'no I won't keep up tutoring, I'll flunk out of high school and clean pools until I die of alcohol poisoning or untreated syphilis' but something strange happened. His eyes flicked to Finn Hudson, who sat a few feet to his left, hand in hand with Quinn Fabray. The cheerleader had her eyebrows raised at him, a strange condescending look on her face. Noah Puckerman's jaw clenched and he turned back to me, glaring; something I felt was entirely unnecessary.

"Yeah, you can tutor me another time" He snapped crossing his arms.

I can only imagine the unflattering look of disbelief on my face as I took in his response "Really?" I started before cutting myself off "I mean did you want to organise a time now or…?"

The rest of Glee club had disintegrated into conversation. Quinn Fabray, still with Finn Hudson in hand was partaking in an animated discussion with two of the other cheerieos (I didn't know their names, they all sort of blurred into the one person in their uniforms). Artie, who I knew from Mathletes was sitting with Tina, another one of my tutees who was quietly reading over some sheet music. Rachel Berry appeared to be pining as she sat, in between Mercedes and Kurt, gazing longingly over at Finn Hudson. Though my status as fellow geek determined I should feel some sort of sympathy for her situation all I could bring myself to feel was resigned annoyance.

"Puck, you can go with Melanie and get that all organised" Mr. Shuester, pushing himself off the piano he had been leaning on making to get the attention of the rest of the group.

When Noah Puckerman walks over to a teenaged girl one of three things usually occur, nervous stuttering, a flushed complexion and/or fidgeting. He knew it, I knew it. I'm pretty sure the only person who wasn't aware of it was Rachel Berry and that's because whenever he approaches her it's usually with slushie in hand and ducking sort of puts an end to any fidgeting she might otherwise partake in. I however was too busy raising my eyebrows, in what I hoped to be a semi reproachful fashion, in his general direction to participate in afore mentioned activities.

"So" I started pulling out my planner and my favourite pen (complete with perfectly moulded detachable grip) and once again pushed the frames of my glasses up the bridge of my nose, I'm pretty sure he rolled his eyes "Um, I tutor on Tuesdays and Thursdays-"

"I have football practice on Thursdays"

"What time do you finish? There's usually time for two sessions after school so if you come straight after practice on Thursdays then-"

"You can't tutor later today?"

"Nope, I've got another tute" He looked aggravated for a moment and I took a second to arrange my face in an expression that said something other than 'pipe down moron, this is my time we're taking up here' before elaborating "Finn Hudson actually, he needs help with U.S history and English"

Puck didn't seem to care too much about his friend's tutoring sessions so I quickly cut myself off and brought my hands to the strap of my satchel bag, avoiding eye contact and looking at the space above his right shoulder (everyone else had piped down by this stage to listen to Mr Shuester ramble about 'achieving your dreams' or something equally as nauseating). He seemed in thought about something, I say 'seemed' because watching Noah Puckerman think about anything for an extended period of time was something I'd never experienced so I could only assume that was what was going on.

"Fine."

"Alright, I'll see you then"

I shouldn't have continued speaking. By the time the first syllable was out of my mouth he had turned and flounced (ok ok, walked) over to the rest of the group.

With one last look over my shoulder I made my own way over to the door.