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The Darkest Hue Between Red and Blue

Chapter 1: The Wanderer
POV: Antonio
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Not quite a minute had passed since I woke up hearing the fast whirring of the railway transit. The side of my neck ended up strained and stiff, while my right ear stung for a few quick seconds. I guess that's expected if one took a careless nap against the utter discomfort of a dirty handrail. However, that feeling of soreness simply dulled in comparison to the sensation that came right before it. Before I stirred out of sleep, a loud and terrifying clatter overran my body with a painful blow that felt so real. It must've been some bizarre dream. I tried remembering what all it was about, just slowly prying and peeling every past thought. In the end, nothing ever came. Its short-lived story seemed to have left my memory in haste.

It was almost twelve-thirty in the morning as shown on my wristwatch. Sighing, I then let myself get mesmerised by the passing lights out the opposite window. It somehow calmed me a little bit and tempted me to doze off a second time. But little did I know, the most frightening realization has already been staring and snickering right in front of my eyes.

What… How did I get into this train?

Right away, every little thing around me cleared out from the shadow of my own stupor. Another nap became entirely uninviting as sharp dread sliced through the calm air. My eyes cautiously rolled from side to side, surveying the almost empty train and trying to make sense of every detail it came across with. I sat petrified, holding onto my seat in anxiety. The white walls, orange seats, adverts shown on screen and a sign scrolling out "Next Stop Ottaviano"— I can't believe such harmless little things are now causing me to break into cold sweat.

It's all because… I don't remember being in this place before.

I'm scared.

The deserted place around me quickly teemed heavy with strange menace. It's as if my own helplessness crept out and drew everything I see in a gloomy light. I shut my eyes hard and shook my head, even going to the lengths of pinching myself… thrice. Still, the lonely metro defended its existence from being considered as a setting for just another bizarre dream. It spoke, whistled, stopped and beeped powerfully into my ears. Must every sound supposed to be this loud? The noise only receded as thick confusion took its toll. It left me stricken and dumbfounded. Who would've thought that at twenty-one years, I'll ever find myself inside a moving train, asking in panic— where the hell am I?

Perhaps, I'm the one who's turning crazy.

I soothed my temples as hurting emerged and began its rampage. Forcing clarity out of this situation offered no help at all. Little by little, my focus simply kept tearing apart into shreds. I quietly cursed at myself, frustrated beyond words. The only images I could get hold of were a mess of pallid nonsense. It absolutely did nothing to help me recall. Same as how that strange dream had turned out, it appears that much more important things has left my memory as well. I don't even know where I'll be going or where exactly did I came from. Baffled out of my wits, the worst case quickly overwhelmed my thoughts. Perhaps, somebody dosed my a strange drug? Did I suffer a traumatic incident somewhere? It could be either but… both seemed a bit too far-fetched. Is it even possible to strip off a person's deep-seated identity just like that?

I somehow still know my age, but… my name… I can't remember it.

My hands rushed down and rummaged for anything inside my pockets. It would be very helpful if I at least get a phone, some cash or an ID card. However, the only item I fished out was a business card for a flooring company named, "Modenzo". On the other side, somebody penned the letters "I b d, l" in script. It neither sparked meaning nor purpose to me so I just slipped it into my jacket. I then checked my inner shirt and pulled my scarf out. For sure, my body's completely okay and my clothes showed no sign of assault. Letting out a quick breath of relief, I knotted my scarf back and crossed my arms. The train announcement soon came up for another upcoming stop. I really wanted to get off and run far away from this insanity. The impulse was just too strong. However, what's there to running away? Where would I even go in the middle of the cold night? I'm sure that everywhere I go, the hefty blanket shrouding my thoughts is there to follow me until it falls on its own accord.

The train spoke, whistled and stopped once again. I stayed on my seat, staring at the floors in dismay.

"…cold?"

A moment later, someone suddenly asks and I almost jolted up. "What?"

"Isn't it cold?"

The man who is now seated right in front of me asked again.

I looked at him in the eye but without letting go of being cautious. He must've just boarded and I simply didn't notice. Yeah, it's probably pretty cold outside and my clothes suggest so too. Although the cold was quite obvious for me to notice, it's still pathetic that I couldn't even tell if today's December or February. My mouth was about to part to agree with the stranger but he suddenly shifted his attention elsewhere. He gazed through the doors close to where I am and fixed his eyes there, yawning once into the air without restraint. It's quite a surprise to see someone so neat despite the dreary wee hours. Makes you want to check if you don't look like crap in comparison. Be that as it may, his face appeared too worn out, so I'm sure he's actually going home instead of heading out.

Much to my surprise, he rolled his eyes back to me again. I swiftly resorted into pretending I wasn't looking and focused on the empty seat beside him. Despite that, all he did was move his arm onto the backrest and lazily scratch through his brown hair. He still continued observing me in such an unwavering way that almost threw me off the edge of comfort. Looking through the unmoving corner of my eye, I can't really tell if he's being hostile or simply waiting for the right time to speak. Let's just hope that the former's just a ridiculous guess. Refusing to think ill of others right off the bat, I decided to try something else.

"Uhm… I knew I stared first," My smile tried its hardest, "I'm sorry, man. It must've been a little rude."

Although I made way for the brewing uneasiness to dissolve and gave him the chance to converse, he doesn't seem up for it. There came neither a word from him nor a simple grunt and his heavy way of staring didn't even budge. I gave up, looked away and tried taking comfort in my patience. Let him be… yes, let him be. Just remember to stay awake and get off the train once it reaches the next station.

The countless minutes became more and more unbearable. His gaze really makes me feel unnerved and worse, it muddles me as to why it does. I considered transferring to next empty bench but all the same, I don't want my actions to provoke anything in the slightest. Unnecessary trouble is my worst enemy right now, knowing that the confusion I'm suffering with the memory loss is no piece of joke. My mind reasoned out the same excuse as the train called for the approaching stop. Let him be… let him get off to his destination first, just act natural and don't get flustered. Get a hold of yourself. It'll soon be over.

I forced myself to breathe calmly and appear relaxed as if nothing ever bothered me. Even so, my frantic eyes veered to and fro from one empty space underneath the seats to the man's occasionally tapping feet. I watched carefully every time I hear the arrival announcement. In the end, I simply groaned inside of my mind, when will you go already? I got fed up in no time. Leaning back against the seat, my eyes got a clearer glimpse of his stare. It was kind of peculiar— you know, like he's seeing something else deep inside his thoughts and not me in the real world. I held up an awkward little wave to snap him up but he merely blinked and clicked his tongue ever so slightly. In the end, I didn't achieve anything other than making myself look silly.

He slipped back into wherever he came from and never faltered once again. On why I stayed seated in front of his staring eyes as five stations passed is one more annoying boost to the things I can't explain. Just a second after leaving Vittorio Emanuele, some odd force of the universe probably hit the stranger upside the head and finally made him spill his words… much to my surprise.

"Sometimes, it's just too silent isn't it?"

"Hmm, not really?" I laughed awkwardly, "The metro's pretty noisy in itself, although not that much."

He then dropped his stare and smiled at himself, "Well, I'd rather hear something pleasant."

Another breath of relief rushed out of my lungs as it turned out that the seemingly aloof person in front of me simply just want to open small talk. Since his face mellowed into a gentle expression I didn't expect, the piled-up mistrust within me quickly broke down. I suddenly felt a familiar jolt, if I could describe in concrete words. Maybe it's a deeply-ingrained part of my nature to quickly fall into the realms of empathy. I only lost my identity, right? Somehow, the bizarre feeling of recognising a certain part of me gave me a sense of security. It was little, but it made me happy.

I thought of asking him for help about my situation but then, the chance didn't came through. His phone suddenly rang loud inside his pocket and he quickly picked it up. Once again, the lonely train's slight vibrations became clearer in my ears, despite the fact that the beginnings of an outside conversation fought hard against it.

"Oh, it's just you." The stranger openly mocked the other line, "Calling to take me out?"

He sounded really bored but it's all fakery. I could totally see him grinning wide all the way from here. Is it someone special? A girlfriend, perhaps?

"Are you fucking kidding me? As I remember, it's your turn now, Gilbert."

Oh, a guy. So, a best friend?

"Alright. Tomorrow, my place. Bring condoms. Lots of it… Yeah, I've ran out of them… nope, don't worry about it. I'll feed your fine ass afterwards. What do you want for dinner, sweetie?"

…It's got to be a boyfriend or something.

"Ha! I'm sorry but I'm not sorry… Okay great, see you… Jeans, shirt and a coat. I'm riding the metro, you dumbass! What? That's none of your business, fuck off—"

"Manzoni - Museo della Liberazione. Right side exit."

Hearing another announcement, my attentions got distracted off the stranger's voice. I might as well get off to the stop where he intends to go. My mind started piecing up some ideas. Perhaps, I should also ask him some directions to the nearest hospital or the police station. It's still in the middle of the night and I don't have money. If I'm going to just walk around 'til sunrise, I'll probably be okay, right?

"No! Ugh, it's just a couple of drinks, I'll be fine! It's probably the last train… I can't do that. No one's with me."

I returned to the stranger's voice as a brewing argument reeled me back into it. Deep inside, I felt kind of insensitive for paying attention, but it's not like I have a choice anyway. He doesn't even seem to care even if I hear his deepest secrets.

"Stop being paranoid! I'm was not in a stupid situation, I'm not currently in one too. Can you seriously hear yourself? Yeah, I want to die but not in that way. Dying that way is no fun at all."

"Oh, really? I didn't even know you a couple of months ago, so why do you care?"

After that, he's been silent for a bit longer. He still has his phone to his ear, although his eyes soon lowered its gaze. I'm only imagining the other line having a little speech of some kind. A firm but loving speech full of reprimands and then an apology afterwards. Yes, it's like that. I'm even almost hearing it.

"Yeah, yeah. Bye. I'm getting off the train now."

Although still irritated, the stranger folded and then bid his goodbye. He still didn't immediately end the call, however. But I know he'll be yelling again… in three, two, one—

"Hang up, already!"

I coughed, trying so hard not to laugh.

The whistling train also stopped in synchrony with the spell of mirth dotting the infinity of my confusion. The man I just randomly met while stranded in a moving train finally slipped his phone and got up straight away. I then quickly followed him out the door. It's not time for us to break paths yet.

"Wait! I have something to ask of you."

As the train left in a whir, I realised that he didn't actually hear me. His back already turned away, he ambled along the platform with his phone up his ear again. The way he's walking looked a bit weird, though. I'm quite sure that he lied to the friend he spoke to just a minute ago. Although my brain's convincing me to mind my own worries first, I really can't leave anyone like this, can I?

"Damn it!"

With that cuss, the peeved man threw his phone to the tracks. It startled me. He then just sat on the ground sunk his face into his palms. At that point, I approached a few steps but didn't exactly know what to say. It soon felt so awkward to merely stand there and hesitate in every way. How could I put it into words? It's like being involved by chance but not really. Something like that. Your heart then says you need to offer help but the real world tells off that you're just a mere stranger as much as that person is also a mere stranger to you.

However, he didn't anymore wait for me to find the well-thought out thing to do. Much to my horror, he suddenly jumped into the deep tracks without even a bit of hesitation.

"Hey! Are you stupid?! Leave it!"

He simply ignored my yelling and kept his intent on retrieving his phone along the grungy tracks. All the while, I stood conflicted upon the platform with my pulse drumming into my ears. It may already be late, but what if another train arrives? For the longest ten seconds of my life, I prayed dearly for the lights to never appear in the tunnels. The man crept and felt the tracks. His pace seemed too nonchalant about the possibility of him being minced by a speeding train. Getting hit by anything speeding is the least fun way to die, if you'd ask me.

"Hurry up! Don't just stand there!" I shouted in dread as he stood up from the tracks.

His movements were slow, excruciatingly slow and torturous. Perhaps he had taken something even more reckless than two drinks but I juts hoped that he'll steady up and climb out soon. When I saw him stagger and hear him curse, it made me think of the possibility to jump in there too. A deep breath rushed out of me as he stepped closer at last. I then promptly offered my hand to help him lift his body up.

In spite of this, I was blatantly ignored. He laid his hands on the platform and pulled himself up with no apparent problems. My feet simply stepped back to make way for him. It pissed me off more than embarrassed me. Well, way to scare the shit out of somebody and then ignore them when they simply wanted you safe. I glared at him as he leisurely brushed dirt and grime off his hands and knees. Immediately after that, he toddled to the exit, not even sparing me a glance.

I snorted out a laugh. What the hell did just happened? It was just as funny as it was annoying and its weirdness added even more to the laugh I tried so hard to contain. Giving up on my original intentions, I decided to just ask another person about the directions I needed. As the very first person I met after I lost my memories slowly staggered away, my feet took slow steps too. I still followed him closely on the way to the exit. However, after that, I probably won't ever meet him again.

Taking a forced stroll behind the unsteady stranger, I began noticing my surroundings in more details. Try as I might, my mind could only register everything as new to me. The ground is new, the ceiling is new and the walls are new. Although it has plenty of distinctive qualities, I still can't place this particular station and match it to any of my supposed memories. Nothing cleared in another of my attempts to remember… as expected.

"Fuck! I look like a tourist." In a burst of laughter, the stranger blurted out all of a sudden. He just eyed his distorted reflection in a wall covered by metal. As he moved on, I could also see his mirrored images move from different parts of the walls.

In a whim, I checked out my own reflection too.

But then as I looked, nothing was ever there.

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A/N:

This is my very first Fanfic. Please be kind?
Also, feedback is appreciated. Thank you for reading.