It was a rough week at Fox River. An inmate's ear and pinky finger had been forcefully amputated in the showers with a sharpened pink Hello Kitty tooth brush, and they C.Os had no leads. It was then when the Pope decided to take drastic measures. A bulk order had been placed for truth serum, and was to be delivered in the morning.
"Hey Bellick!" C.O Jim shouted, "Is this the truth serum?"
"Not so loud," Bellick growled irritably, "We don't want the whole prison to know."
It was just then that C-Note and several inmates rounded the corner of the building, coming face to face with Jim, Bellick, and the super secret crate of mystery.
"Know what?" C-Note asked, raising his eyebrows suspiciously.
Bellick and Jim were at a loss for words, so they decided to shout random things and hope everyone just accepts the answers and leaves.
"We're gay lovers!" Bellick exclaimed nervously.
"We're training pandas to use walkie-talkies!" Jim contradicted.
"I write Harry Potter slashfics!" Bellick screeched.
The next few moments passed in awkward silence, only made more awkward when Jim started crying because he thought he lost the contest.
"O-kay, we don't want to know what's going on here, and were leaving now." C-Note said as him and the other inmates began to flee.
"Whew." Jim sighed in relief when the cons were out of sight, "Good acting!"
"Yeah...it was acting..." Bellick said unconvincingly.
They spent the next four hours hauling the crate of truth serum into the kitchen to be stored in the freezer along with the hamburger meat and the souls of innocents. When the last crate was in the freezer, Bellick pried it open and took a jug of the truthy-goodness.
"What are you going to do with that?" Jim inquired looking at the jug.
It was as big as a large bottle of detergent, and you could see right through the transparent solution.
"I'm just going to keep a bit for my own purposes." Bellick said, the evil smirk he got when plotting growing across his face.
"That's against the rules! The handbook says so!" Jim gasped.
"I don't care! I can't read anyways!" Bellick said angrily, snatching the jug.
"I won't let you!" Jim yelled heroically, yanking the jug away from Bellick while his cape fluttered in the now present breeze.
"I want it! It's mine!" Bellick whined while grabbing the truth serum back.
Jim and Bellick were now full-on wrestling for the jug of truth serum, each man trying to scare the other with their spider monkey-ish war cry. Jim, being stronger, smarter, faster, and actually half spider monkey quickly gained possession of the jug.
"Victory is Jim's!" The monkey-man roared.
Bellick made a quick decision and tackled Jim's knees, because the constant improper use of the third person was getting to him. Jim fell instantly, but the truth serum flew in the air. It soared right above the stove, emptying its contents in the simmering vat of mystery-poultry prison marinara sauce. Jim and Bellick stared in shock at what they had done, and hastily exited just before Trumpets entered the kitchen and began ladling sauce on the half-cooked pasta. Jim and Bellick, or Jellick, as Bellick like to ship them, then watched in horror as the disgusting truth pasta was sent out and served to hungry inmates.
Something told Jellick that this would be an i interesting /i week.
