Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. If it belonged to me, only people on crack or patently insane would read the books.
Rating: R for mature themes later on.
Warnings: There will be some slash and femme/slash (Main paring: HGBS) in this.
Also, the characters had to be out of character a little, for plot reasons and so that I could get the pairings right.
Pairings: Hermione/Bella Swann (eventual – the main pairing for my challenge), Draco/Ginny, and Klaus/…read to find out.
Note: This is a personal challenge I did for myself after doing a quiz fanfiction-writing-related and finding question number twenty-four amusing (not to mention the end pairing rather ridiculous). I'll post the question at the end of the fic so I don't give away the plot.
To explain, for the questionnaire I did you had to write 12 fictional characters. My number one was Hermione, four Harry, five Draco, nine was Klaus (Baudelaire, from a series of unfortunate events), Twelve Edward (Cullen, from Twilight), and by accident I had done three and eleven both as Bella (Swan, from Twilight). Although, her being both those numbers worked out fine.
I've never done a cross-over fic before, and though I'm writing it as a relatively serious drama fic – not humour – the pairing I got from the question was kind of funny… Enjoy the story!
…Oh, and I've decided to write the memories in italics. Because I can. And so you know what parts are flashbacks.
Chapter One
Hermione Jean Granger had the perfect life.
As a child, she'd grown up as a muggle with her perfectly sensible, loving, muggle parents. After discovering she had magic, she went to Hogwarts, where she got good (in fact, the best) grades, best friends, and eventually helped the infamous Harry Potter defeat Voldemort. And then, in her seventh year, with the transfer of three lonesome albeit brilliant orphans, Hermione Jane Granger got the perfect boyfriend- Klaus Baudelaire.
Klaus was amazing. Like her, he shared the desire to know as much as he could about everything- and through books. And everything that Klaus read, he remembered. They had brilliant conversations together- trading knowledge and wit and the occasional morbid joke (Klaus).
After graduation, Klaus had asked Hermione to move in with him. Not long after that, she got the job as head of a new department the ministry had – the department for Experimental charms and potions: creating new spells and potions, and modifying existing one's. Another bonus of the job was that the golden trio's long time nemesis Draco Malfoy was to be her assistant. Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoys boss! Life was great.
It is in fact half a year after Hogwarts graduation, after a perfect day of her torturing Draco at work, that we begin our story.
Hermione Granger hummed happily to herself as she finished up the report on her staff's newest breakthrough- a potion that rendered the drinker unable to be effected by the Imperio curse for a month. It would help auror's so much – Hermione couldn't wait to get it to Harry and Ron (both who had gotten jobs as auror's after school)- the department just had to figure out why everyone who drank it also turned blue and gained a third eye.
"Good work today, Draco." Hermione grinned at the blonde boy in question; whose desk sat a few metres from hers. After a couple of impossible months together, for the sake of the department they had formed a truce, and eventually, Draco Malfoy had become one of Hermione's best friends. That's not to say they didn't still fight a lot.
"I'll be needing that report to be filed and I want the latest update on the spell Demetri and Holly are working on, on my desk by Friday afternoon."
Draco muttered a curse under his breath, turning to glare at her. "I can't get that done by tomorrow! Not after everything else you've asked me to do." Indeed, tell-tale signs of late nights at work showed through the dark circles under his eyes. "What's so important that you're taking a week off from work on Saturday anyway?"
Hermione sighed dreamily, uncharacteristically twirling her hair between her fingers.
Draco smirked sardonically, not at all amused, and mouthed the words as she said them: "Klaus and I- it's our anniversary… we've been together for a year on Saturday!"
"Bloody wanker," Draco muttered darkly.
Hermione glared at him sharply. "My desk by tomorrow morning now, ferret."
Dracos eye's widened comically in disbelief, "W-what! That's impossible! Hey, Hermione! …Hermione, get back here!" He yelled at her retreating back as she walked out of the office.
But Hermione Granger was back on cloud nine, and didn't here a thing.
Poor Draco.
Once again humming softly to herself, Hermione walked down the corridor towards the apparition point and closed her eyes in complete bliss. Another perfect year. And today, since Klaus had been given the day off (he was a journalist for the daily prophet, not to mention an author himself), she'd decided to surprise him by coming home early.
She could still remember the first time she'd seen and met Klaus Baudelaire. He and his siblings, Violet and Sunny, had stared out at the school with impassive faces as Dumbledore told the school how the three were his second cousin twice removed– husbands – brothers grandchildren, and to be nice and help them around, and that because they had their younger sister to take care of, they would be given their own private rooms. Violet and Klaus were then sorted – both into Ravenclaw.
Hermione hadn't thought much of the three then. 'They look rather sad…' she had mused to herself before helping herself to some chicken- before Ron could get there first and eat it all.
She could also recall vividly the first time they had met, how they had instantly had a connection, and everything that had followed. She smiled and thought back. She'd been looking for a certain book on potions for a difficult essay Snape had just given them.
Startled, she heard the sound of approaching footsteps behind her. 'Who could that be… barely anyone other than me ever comes in here…' she turned in apprehension and saw a boy about her height, with glasses similar to Harry's, approaching her. His dark hair fell into his troubled eyes, and she noted that he had the book she had been searching for. "Sorry… were you looking for this book?" He asked politely albeit quietly, holding out the book in question to her apologetically. "Yes… thank you," Hermione replied, taking the book and noticing his discomfort. She smiled warmly, holding out her hand. "I'm Hermione Granger, and it's a pleasure to meet you…" He hesitated, but then took her hand and smiled back. "Likewise. My name's Klaus Baudelaire. You're in Professor Snape's advanced potion classes, then?" She nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, and he's such a great teacher; it's a shame that he has to be such a jerk." She grinned. Klaus let out a small laugh and agreed. "So, what other subjects do you take?" He asked, looking genuinely intrigued. All tension gone, the two sat down and eased into comfortable conversation about Hogwarts. Soon, Hermione was meeting him constantly at the library, eager for the verbal frenzy only he could inspire. Harry and Ron were great friends, but she was glad to have some one she could relate to on a more intellectual level. After being friends for quite a few months, he even told her about her past- him and his sisters had to move from relative to relative during their childhood, ever since a fire had destroyed their home and killed their parents when Klaus had only been eight years old. Finally, Violet had gotten accepted to a small magic school in France- and conveniently enough, a distant cousin of theirs taught there. Because of this, Klaus and Sunny had been able to stay there with their cousin, and eventually Klaus himself had joined the school. An unfortunate encounter with a violent hippogriff had killed their kind cousin, and they had decided to move to Hogwarts to start over. "…And that's about it." Klaus finished quietly, finishing his story of his life so far. His eyes had a far away look in them, and the sad look on his face made Hermione ache – she wished she could do something to make him feel better... Feeling her eyes on him, Klaus snapped out of his trance and attemped to smile at her. "And of course, I know all about your years here at Hogwarts- Harry, Ron and you are after all the most famous, not to mention powerful teenagers around. It's amazing, everything you three have risked for the wizarding world." He was trying to change the subject, she knew, but she let him. "Thanks Klaus." She paused for a moment and then added, "If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you." Klaus nodded and then blushed scarlet. Hermione noticed and laughed. "Whats wrong?" She asked. 'He's so adorable… and nice… and fun…' she thought dreamily, staring at him as he looked at his feet, taking off his glasses to clean them, a letting her see his brilliant blue eyes. He was fidgeting nervously, and seemed not to have registered her question. "So… I was wondering… Hermione, if you're not going- I-I mean, if you haven't got a partner yet… would you go to the ball with me?" He stuttered shyly, looking around the room at anything but her. Hermione stared at him for a moment in surprise, then a huge grin broke out on her face- maybe there was a chance for her, maybe he liked her the way she liked him! Klaus took her short silence as a no. "Never mind. I should have known that someone of your intelligence and charm already had a someone to go with... s- omphf!" Hermione had tackled him into a hug, laughing. "Klaus, there's no one I would rather go with." She told him ecstatic. He turned bright red again, and gingerly hugged her back, the happiest he himself had been in a while.
Hermione cursed as she re-checked the shelf for the book she needed. 'Why? Madam Pince said no one had checked it out…" she thought, frustrated.
After the ball, Klaus had asked her on a date, and they'd become an official couple.
Seeing the apparition point Hermione checked her watch- it was almost six pm, and she usually got home at eight. Not much extra time with Klaus, but still… she shrugged. Maybe they could go on a date, or simply rent a movie and eat pizza at home. Then Klaus could tell her about his day- he had been planning to visit his sisters Violet and Sunny that day, since he wouldn't see them for a week while he and Hermione would be on their week-long anniversary holiday.
She frowned, remembering that the Minister of magic had let her go only because he'd decided Draco could handle her position for a week, and because of all the extra shifts she usually put in. Oh well, Draco would be fine. At this she reached the apparition point and apparated to the familiar alley a block from her house. Both having grown up as muggles, Klaus and Hermione had decided to live in a muggle neighbourhood, at least for a while.
This memory alone bought Hermione back to her dream state as she casually walked out of the alley and towards her apartment. She remembered how, after graduation – and a strange fight with Harry - he had pulled her into a deserted classroom to talk to her.
She wasn't oblivious- she'd noticed that he'd been avoiding her, and how when he could he'd look incredibly uncomfortable and make up a bad excuse to leave her, saying that he was sorry and of course he wasn't avoiding her- he was just really busy. After the graduation ceremony and the third vague excuse of "I have to… find this thing by the place…" she'd managed to corner him in the entrance hall. "God damn it Hermione! I've already told you nothings wrong! Why do you always have to be such a stuck up nosy cow!" Harry yelled back. Hermione looked at him in shock. It was always Ron who was the one to lose his temper, and even then – Ron had never insulted her like that, not like Harry had, like he meant it. Harry was always the one pulling them apart, making them see that they were being idiots. "What have I done Harry?" She asked, blinking back tears. Sighing, Harry pulled his hand through his messy black hair. "It-it's not you Hermione. I'm sorry for snapping at you. God, it's just… I've been a bit stressed lately, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it out on you." "You can tell me, whatever it is that's got you stressed. I'm sure we can figure something out." Hermione whispered to him, tears dripping down her cheeks. Harry noticed and looked away in shame. "It's… don't worry. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry I hurt you Hermione." "Ahem." The two turned around and finally noticed Klaus behind them. He glared at Harry, then turned to Hermione with an apologetic look. "Could I have a word with you? There's not much time left before everyone has to pack for the Hogwarts Express…"
"Harry, you git, what's wrong? We're supposed to be best friends!" Hermione yelled distraught.
Hermione hesitated, glancing at Harry in question. He looked at her sadly and nodded in answer. She gave him a small smile and hugged him tightly. "Best friends forever, Harry… we've been through to much together for anything to change that." She pulled back and went to Klaus, and Harry finally smiled, although it looked a little forced. "Of course, Mione." He said, watching with a sad face as Klaus scowled at him and put his arm protectively around Hermione's waist. "Er… Klaus, where are we going?" "Library." He said simply. They walked in silence and finally got there, Hermione staring appreciatively around the room. "I'm going to miss this place…" she stated sadly.
"All the great conversations we had…When you asked me to the ball…" Hermione continued, smiling in remembrance. Klaus chuckled. "And you, saying yes to going out with me…" Hermione grinned. "Not to mention all the times we snogged in the restricted section," she laughed as Klaus looked away, slightly embarrassed. He cleared his throat and glared at her teasingly for laughing at him. "Anyway, Hermione, as you know, last year Violet graduated, and only a month ago on her eighteenth birthday she inherited our family fortune…" He looked at her and she gestured for him to continue, confused as to what that had to do with anything. "Well, Violet divided the money she inherited into three, so one third one the fortune is mine. Erm, and I was thinking, instead of moving in with her and Sunny after graduation, I could use some of that money to get an apartment close to where I'll be working- you know, as a journalist for the daily prophet…" Hermione nodded, unsure where this was headed. "So, I was thinking… I know you were going to flat with Harry and Ron, but if you wanted to, maybe you could move in with me?" He looked at his shoes in rapt fascination at this point, avoiding her gaze. "Klaus, I would love to!" Hermione smiled at him. He let out a sigh of relief and looked back. "Really? God, Hermione, I was going out of my mind- we hadn't talked about our relationship now that Hogwarts is over, I wasn't sure if you'd still want to be with me. But I'm glad." He flashed her a shy smile. Klaus already had an apartment in mind, and showed Hermione when they reached muggle London. It was close to where Klaus worked as well as a number of good shopping malls, and it was also easy to get from the apartment to the leaky cauldron. It also had a dirty alley way down the road a street over, that Hermione thought could be a good place to apparate to- it was likely that no muggles would be looking in it if she apparated in it. The apartment itself was humble yet spacious, with a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen and dining room, and a living room. It also had a deck that – from four storeys high- overlooked muggle London and in Hermiones opinion was beautiful at night with all the city lights.
Klaus nodded in agreement, and relaxed for the first time since he'd pulled her away from Harry. "It's not just the books I'm going to miss… we've got so many memories in here- the first time we met…"
After two weeks they had moved in to it. Harry, Ron and even Ginny popped in on them occasionally, and they barely ever fought. If they did, it was usually over something ridiculous, like the disagreement they had about Harry. It hadn't been too big of a fight, and they'd made up almost immediately after, but for about a week after that fight, Klaus had been really withdrawn.
Hermione had wanted to put up apparition wards so that their friends would have to come in the normal way- through the front door. Her and Klaus generally walked home anyway, and she hated thinking that anyone could just pop by unannounced at any time. What if she'd been in the shower, or if they were out? Both of these things had happened. Ron had popped by and, without Hermione or Klaus there to stop him, ate most of there food and then fell asleep on their bed.
Hermione wouldn't mind so much if it didn't feel like he was a free loader- the only times Ron came over seemed to be when the promise of food was involved.
Once, Hermione at stepped out of the shower with only a towel on, into the bedroom to be face to face with Harry. Both had shrieked and Hermione had fled back to the safety of the bathroom. Harry couldn't look her in the face for a week.
She had told Klaus, and he still hadn't agreed with her about the wards.
"What if an emergency comes up Hermione?" He snapped angrily.
"Like what Klaus? If it's a real emergency, then they can still apparate to the hallway outside our door, just not straight inside!" She yelled back. "You're being ridiculous." Klaus muttered. He then promptly picked up the nearest book to him and proceded to ignore her. "I'm being ridiculous? You won't even face me properly to talk about this!" He looked at her sharply. "Fine. We are not making apparition wards. Conversation over."
They were at each others throats about it for a while until Harry and Ron apparated into the room, stopping their argument as Hermione shot him a 'I told you so' look. How were they supposed to have privacy? In any case, they hadn't brought the problem up since.
Ignoring the hurt she felt as she remembered how angry Klaus had been, she turned her mind to thoughts about the holiday they were to go on. Hermione smiled softly to herself, and turned into the apartment building on her left, going immediately into the elevator and pushing the button for the fourth floor. 'Maybe… maybe he'll finally say those three small words…' Hermione thought. She refused to get her hopes up though- Klaus was shy, and she wasn't even sure how she felt about him.
The elevator dinged, bringing her out of her musings as she stepped out to the hallway and down to her apartment, bringing out her key and quietly- still hoping to surprise Klaus- unlocking the door. It'd been her way of silent protest, even on really late night shifts that had her coming in at one in the morning, she refused to apparate into the apartment.
Walking in and closing the door softly behind her, she immediately knew something was wrong. Klaus was definitely home – his shoes were by the door, his notes for work laid out on the table- but his glasses were on top of that. Klaus barely ever took off his glasses… she didn't hear the shower going, and she could see him… she felt like her stomach was up in her throat. What could've happened…
'The bedroom door is closed… Maybe… maybe he's in bed sleeping. He's been looking kind of tired lately… or- maybe he finally went out and got contacts…' she doubted both of these. Klaus found contacts annoying and would never sleep early; he usually had to work to meet a deadline. And if not, then he would read until Hermione got back and then talk to her.
A low moan came from the bedroom, and she walked slowly over to it. Several more moans came from and she wondered what could have happened – was he in pain? At this thought Hermione quickly opened the door… only to let out a horrified gasp at the scene in front of her.
Klaus was indeed in bed. But he was naked… and Harry, her best friend Harry bloody Potter, was naked in bed with him.
And suddenly Hermione Granger's life wasn't so perfect anymore.
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(a/n: Sooo! No flames please, remember that I did warn you about the slash. And the upcoming femmeslash.
But constructive criticism is encouraged- and any notes on spelling or grammar mistakes. Oh, and I tried to keep the characters relatively themselves, but for plot reasons, I had to change them a little. And I know Klaus must be really out of character, but in my defence I read the Lemony Snicket books ages ago.
And don't say I didn't warn you all about the slash. Or the upcoming femme/slash. I'm kind of feeling weird about writing it myself, cause I'm straight, it's been mildly disturbing… gah, my boyfriends been pissing me off lately though. Mutter, mutter…
Anyway, Review! I know that little button is tempting you…)
