A/N: Okay, so there's an inside joke between me and a bunch of tumblr friends, in which there really is a fic like this that I wrote (again, as a joke challenge.) This is made as a response to the teasing, but I beg you, please don't take this seriously. At all. It is just in good fun.


Do you ever feel like you do something, fully knowing that it's something you'll definitely regret in the morning?

…And yet, you do it anyways?

That's exactly what you were feeling right now.

The harsh sunlight streaking through the curtains and onto your face stirred you from your slumber, a pounding headache already hammering away at your consciousness. You slowly rolled over, fumbling around for some kind of painkillers to ease the sharp pain, when your phone started pinging with notifications. A groan left your lips as you patted around for your phone. God, why did these fuckers have to always start their chat rooms so damn early in the morning…?

Managing a grip somehow, your vision swam as the screen's blinding white filled your vision, making the headache worse than you thought possible. You winced and just let yourself go through the motions before the screen finally cleared up and you were staring at…seven new notifications? Confused, you noticed it was from the RFA messenger and quickly tapped on the little icon before opening them up.

Oh, they all were from Saeyoung. Time to see what he wants.

707: Hey, MC!

Thanks for last night

It was really amazing

I had so much fun with you

Hope you don't mind me posting about it in the chat

Love you~

You stared dumbfounded at his little emoji self sending you kisses, trying to decipher what cryptic crap he just sent you. "Thanks for last night?" What the fresh hell was that about? You were almost too scared to ask at that point and the numbness spreading throughout your body wasn't helping that sentiment at all.

You just sighed and settled back into the covers. It was probably nothing too important, right…? At least, not something that you had to really think about at this very moment; that would have to wait for Future You. As your head snuggled against the plush pillow, body succumbing already to the lovely warmth of the covers, you mind sluggishly ran through the events of last night.

Was there anything important that you guys did?

Not that you can remember; all you remember was that the two of you were messing around at the wee hours of the night, getting drunk on his stash of Honey Buddha chips and Dr. Pepper. The memories were extremely hazy, but you could see vague flashes of the both of you settled against each other, you nestled in his lap as your fingers drummed furiously away at something hidden from your mind's eye. That alluring voice of his, those laughs as sweet as the honey that coated his favorite food, resounded in your ear, filling you with determination as he encouraged you to "Keep going, don't stop, this is so good and I love you for this…"

Wait.

Your eyes immediately shot open.

It…he wouldn't dare. He'd never do you dirty like that; he loved you so much and would never slander you like what your thoughts were entertaining. But the other, more logical half of your sleep-addled brain was already screaming at you that "He most certainly would; now get your ass in gear and try to do damage control before it's too late!"

You quickly snatched up your phone, fiddling frantically with the password lock and praying to GOD that you were just in time. Your finger practically smushed itself against the icon of the RFA app and you shakily entered the chatroom with bated breath.

MC: SAeyougn no

MC: I FUCKIN SWEAR TO GOD, SAEYOUNG CHOI

You were only met with that damned, shit-eating, grinning emoji of his that told you he was planning to completely ruin you right here, right now.

707: Hey guys MC wrote something really amazing for me and I want to share it with you 3

A giant wall of text immediately filled your vision and you swore you felt your soul be eradicated from this universe and quite possibly the next.

This man. This fucker really did it. He signed your death warrant, and you could practically see the sadistic smirk playing against his lips, probably imagining what faces, what emotions of regret, anger, despair, you were making at this exact moment.

You left the chat room, opening the texts to frantically type a message out to your soon to be ex-fiancé.

MC: I am going to fucking murder you in cold blood, Saeyoung Choi, and I will make sure they cannot find your body or even be able to identify you in any way, shape, or form once I am done, do you fucking hear me?!

707: haha then what ;)))

You let out an aggravated screech as that same shit-eating emoji of his greeted you once more, but it soon trailed off into a loud whimper as a sharp, stabbing pain ran through your head. God. What the hell else happened last night besides writing that mess of a story? You couldn't recall but you were pretty sure that all those Dr. Peppers and sugary snacks were finally coming back to haunt you.

Your eyes drifted back to the app and you almost cried right then and there. You were honest to god too afraid to enter the chat room again, but you…you needed to. You needed to desperately save face. Just clear up the misunderstanding that you were sure would follow, beg for their forgiveness, anything to save your already ruined reputation. They were your friends, after all. They knew your personality like the backs of their hands—especially considering who you were (soon to not be) engaged to—and that your personality of course wouldn't turn down a challenge to write a Squidward x Reader story just so you could rub it in Saeyoung's face that you most definitely could, that you weren't a coward—

God, that already sounded incriminating enough.

You mentally tried to pick up what shredded remains of your dignity you had left, and hesitantly re-entered the chat room…only to find complete chaos ensuing.

Jumin Han: I don't see the problem.

Yoosung : that was…a ride

Yoosung : i'm crying? over squidward?;;;;

707: I'm gonna diddle Squidward

Saeran: I'm suddenly feeling all of that pent-up anger coming back.

The messages continued at a rapid-fire pace and you felt your heart sink with each one. Wow, you really wanted to just fling yourself into the sun right now; they were all just…screaming, exactly like you were screaming internally. Although…Jumin thinking that the story was actually good threw you for a loop. What a guy.

You breathed in slowly and shakily typed your first message since this mess started.

MC: Hey! Let's not?

'Good job, MC,' you thought to yourself as the chat room went stagnant, almost waiting to see what reason you had for making this monstrosity, 'now to just explain the situation, do damage control…'

MC: Those diddles are for me and me only, thank you

'…God damn it.'

707: Awww don't worry you're my only Squidward 3

Saeran: Hey! Text messages are a thing! USE THEM FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

707: Uhhh, Don't kink shame me?

Jaehee Kang: Everyone please go to bed.

Jumin Han: MC, I am serious when I say that this is quite a wonderful piece of literature. If you are ever looking to get published for your work, please feel free to contact the C&R and we can work something out.

ZEN: All of you need God and that's coming from me.

707: Excuse me, only my Squidward is allowed to tell me that

MC: i'M tiRED GOOD NIGHT

And with that final goodbye, you left the chatroom and threw your phone to the side, resting your head in between cold, unfeeling hands. The urge to just…lodge your head straight into the nearest wall was growing stronger with each passing second.

You could never, ever, EVER show your face to them, ever again.

You were contemplating just curling up into a ball under your covers and praying the sweet release of death to come ever so swiftly when a soft, graceful tune caught your attention. As if anything worse couldn't happen, you heard the all-too-familiar ringtone softly echoing around your empty room, the light of your screen illuminating the name of the person you did NOT want to see right now. Glaring murder at the screen, you took a deep breath and pressed the 'take call' button, slowly holding up the phone to your ear.

707: MC, I just wanted to say…

707: …Always keep Squidward in your heart.

Your eyes glazed over, body instantly numbing, as you stared blankly at the screen, your resolve strengthening now more than ever. One thought and only one thought ran through your mind as booming laughter from the speaker filled the suffocating silence in the air:

I am going to obliterate you the next time I see you, Saeyoung, just you fucking wait.


A/N: That being said, this will be the last time I am writing for the Mystic Messenger fandom. I will take my gracious fandom ban via stinging insults and rocks being thrown at me as I burn at the stake. Please bring your own firewood, thank you 3