Please note: This story takes place directly after Jim leaves the crime scene in 2x08. Contains spoilers (duh).
I love you, baby. Walking down the hallway of Lee's apartment complex, Jim couldn't get Barbara's words out of his head. Nor could he rid his mind of the image of her on a gurney, bloody and unconscious. It had been a crazy day, during which Jim had made half a dozen decisions he already regretted. Should-have-dones cluttered his thoughts, and when he reached Lee's apartment, he was worn out, both physically and emotionally. Lee had left the crime scene about forty five minutes before him, and the thought of facing his girlfriend after the day's events unnerved him.
When Jim tried to open the door of Lee's apartment, he found it locked. She never locks her door when she's home, he thought, digging through his pocket for the keys she had given him the previous week. As Jim let himself into Lee's apartment, the creaking of the door accentuated the utter silence that hung over the drafty room, which was lit by a single lamp. It was such a contrast to the usual atmosphere of his girlfriend's apartment: bright, warm, filled with the sound of clanking pots, and Lee's soft voice singing along to the radio. Jim nearly called his partner's name, but suddenly felt intimidated.
As Jim crossed the threshold, removing his suit jacket and rubbing his forehead tiredly, he glanced at the window. Snow had begun to slip from the dark sky, sailing past the glass window panes. Framed by this scene was Lee, her back to Jim. Lee gave no appearance that she had heard him enter, and stood utterly still.
"Hey," he called, advancing toward Lee. His footsteps echoed through the silent room, until he stood beside her. Without so much as a glance, Lee turned her face away from him, wrapping her arms around herself. It was then that Jim noticed a partially drained wine bottle sitting on the counter.
"Lee," he said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder. When she shrunk away from his touch, a profound sense of regret struck Jim's heart, and sickening guilt settled in his stomach. He was ashamed that Barbara had occupied his thoughts, just minutes earlier. He could still taste Barbara's lips on his own, and he couldn't imagine what was running through Lee's mind.
"Lee, please," he pleaded. In profile, he watched as Lee's features went from placid to angry. Then, anger dissolved into utter heartbreak, and she covered her face with her hands. Jim was torn: his initial reaction was to cradle her in his arms, but he knew that doing so would give her little comfort. How could he comfort her, when he was the cause of her pain? All the same, Jim reached out his hand, and this time, she allowed his ghost of a touch. Slowly, afraid that she would reject him again, Jim laid his palm against the fabric of her dress. She tolerated this gesture as well, but even as he drew soft, rhythmic circles against her back, Lee still wouldn't look at him.
Jim knew that what he had done was wrong. He had allowed Barbara to entrance his mind again, and Lee had suffered because of it. The kiss he shared with Barbara was still fresh in his mind: full of regret, longing, and even tenderness. It was no doubt just as fresh in Lee's memory, as well. He hated to admit it to himself, but the more he tried to brush the kiss off as 'just doing his job', the less he believed it. There were some unresolved feelings between he and Barbara, through which the Arkham escapee was easily able to manipulate him. Because he had played Barbara's mind games, he had put Lee in danger. He recalled the night when she had confided in him that she was terrified of Barbara, after he had awoken her from a nightmare. Safely in his arms, Lee admitted that her fear began when Barbara tried to kill her, which was intensified by the incident at the Children's Hospital gala. Jim had allowed Lee fall into the hands of the very woman who caused her to wake up screaming in the night. Jim cursed himself as he observed the rope burns around Lee's wrists, and the bruises running along her elegant jawline.
In the poignant silence, Jim's thoughts were interrupted by a soft noise. It took him a moment to realize that it was the sound of Lee crying, which he was not expecting. Jim didn't blame her for crying, after everything he had put her through, but Jim had only ever heard her cry on one other occasion: the night Barbara tried to kill her. It was then that Jim was hit by the true gravity of his actions. He had betrayed her, with none other than her would be murderess. As he watched his lover cry, Jim felt a crushing pain violently hit his chest and settle there.
"Lee," he whispered in a broken voice. Lee's tears turned to sobs, which echoed through the quiet room and bounced off of the glass window panes. Seeing her agony, Jim finally drew her shaking form to him, her back against his chest and his arms encircling her body in a protective embrace. At first, she stood rigidly, but after a moment, she began to soften against him. Her sobs rattled his chest. "I'm so sorry," he whispered against her neck, "Please forgive me, Lee."
Jim held Lee for a long time, until her tears subsided. The snowstorm had died off as well, and now large, velvety flakes drifted gently past the pair. Lee began to stir, and Jim loosened his hold. As Lee turned to face Jim, her soft, dark eyes met his own blue pair searchingly. Jim's fingers brushed away stray tears. "I'm sorry," he repeated softly. She pressed a brief, poignant kiss against his lips, wordlessly accepting his apology.
"Good night, Jim," she said, pulling away and heading in the direction of her bed. Jim didn't follow her.
A/N Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this story. There has potential to be a part two. Please favorite, follow and review! Additionally, if anyone has any Jim and Lee stories, I would love to read and review! I can't get enough of this adorable pairing, and it breaks my heart that their relationship has been on the rocks in Season 2. If they break up in tomorrow's mid season finale⦠There will be no words, just vengeful tears!
Just a side note, I realize that Lee is a very strong woman, and it's one of the things that I admire about her. I think that the ability to bear your soul to the people you love is a strength, and so I don't feel that I've marginalized Lee or women in general by making her express her raw emotions. The idea of a cold, hard woman robot is just as demeaning and unrealistic as a weak, overly emotional shrinking violet. As a woman myself, I understand that women are capable of being strong and vulnerable. We can be both, without sacrificing our independence or our heart, which is what I'm trying to portray in Lee in this vignette.
