Author's Note: So I haven't used this site before. I don't know how this works. So please, if you're going to stick around and read, bare with me while I understand this strange site. Anyway, CAN I JUST SAY THAT THIS IS AWESOME? Sorry for screaming, but Jesus, this is kick-ass. NO. I don't apologize for language. So ... you're reading my note, huh? That's cool. My first attempt at a fan-fiction story, though I have used this plot one way or another.

Um. I do not own Twilight? No, never have never will. (New at this, people.) Warning: language. There will be some major use of some fowl language. I believe I shall rate this an M for language. Yes, I will be cussing like a sailor. As we go on, and hopefully we will go on, we'll deal with some fairly major issues, some angst, some pain, some tears, some laughter, some dancing, some fowl language - no lemons. None of that here. I don't want to bore you to death with this long-ass note, but if you're reading this, then clearly I have done something right. Hold on me lovlies, and I shall see you at zee bottom.


BPOV

And those nights became everything.

Deep in the nights, you, me, a glass of cool lemonade, Marten and Telly...

Those nights were amazing. Even now, years later, after the sneaking around and suspicion, as I curl up in your side of the bed, those four years press some hot blade into my chest.

I miss you, Edward. I miss you and everything of the small thing we once were. The pain, the betrayal, the tears - I want to take it all back, erase all of it, but something stops me. And so now, we're lost.

I moved, by the way. The second people found out about us, what I then called life collapsed into ash. I'm now in a little town called Forks. It rains like a bitch, and it never stops. It's a refreshing change from the hot, pulsing sun that shined back in Cali.

I want to get over you, believe me, I do. But there's something about your first love - it's like they leave some mark on you that will never go away.

So I made this promise.

This promise, this notion that I will get over you, Edward, and never think of you again. I won't fall into some goddamn deep hole when I think of our hometown. I won't cry myself to sleep, I'm not gonna drive to the tiny-ass grocery store in the middle of the night just to get Ben and Jerry's ice-cream. I'm not gonna starve myself into a smaller person over the hope that one day you'll leave that bitch of a wife and come running for me, because you won't.

Are you still with her? Just asking, because I honestly don't see how a relationship can still thrive after your partner cheated on you.

No. Wait, I forgot - I don't care. Screw that blonde bimbo. She ... sucks.

But, like all my other promises, this one I shattered into a few hundred pieces and now I'm breaking every rule I've made since you left.

I'm going to find you.

And you, wherever you are, wherever I find you, will listen. You're gonna hear everything I have to say.

You're going to be called a bastard, a two-timing, cheating asshole, I'll call you a bitch, a manslut, worst-lay-of-my-life, idiotic over-weight donkey, dickhead, a crotch-stained freak. You're also going to be called innocent. Beautiful, stunning, handsome, take-my-breath-away kinda guy, smart, intelligent, hilarious, heart-stealing, perfect, gorgeous, pure, sweet, sooooooo sweet, the guy who managed to steal and break my heart at the same time.

Your eyes sort of haunt me in my dreams. Your soft, tousled copper hair, it's like I can still feel it. I can't tell you what I'd do to run my fingers through it one last time. Your arms, tight around me, never letting me go, I long to be swallowed in them. Your sweet, intoxicating scent, I kinda stole eighteen shirts of yours, one pillow - your favorite, actually -, one blanket, one that lost its scent quickly, I might add.

So, uh, just a "by the way" sort of thing...

Sor - oh wait, I apologize for nothing, because weren't you the one who left me for the mother fucking dogs? Hyenas? Judge-fucking-mental bitches, they took everything from me. I just lost the love of my life, disowned by my very loving family, shut out by my best friends, so did you honestly expect me to continue to live?

I tried, I tried not to let their whispers and looks get to me, but Jesus, that hurt worse than your leaving.

So yeah, I might have some issues.

Anyway.

You. You aggravating, beautiful, impossible-to-ignore man, I'm coming for you.

My last shot, my very last shot at happiness.

I gave one chance two years, four months, three weeks, and four days, up, and it nearly killed me.

I'm going to find you, Edward. I'm gonna start back in Cali and re-open those wounds that you dug, jump into those whispers because I know they haven't forgotten about me just yet.

To hell with what Rose says - the bullshit that I should get over you and move on -

I fucking love you.

And I miss you, more than words can possibly say.

Edward Cullen, your stupid ass lawyers will not hide you from me. Your father can't save you this time.

I'm coming for you. I need to make you see that I'm right for you, and you're right for me.

I can only hope this works.


Author's Note: If you're reading this, I have done something right. Things will be a wee bit fuzzy in the beginning, but we'll get that cleared up soon. But, helloooo there, whomever you are. Can I tell you something? I tend to write a lot. I tend to get Writer's Block a lot. I will not force myself to write when I do have Writer's Block, seeing as that it will come out ugly-like and it isn't a fun time for anybody. That being said, please expect an irregular posting period. I know, I hate it when some author doesn't update, but I understand that this is writing, these things take time, and etcetera. But, if you want, review, because I will love you more than I love life, more than I love my ... birds. Kidding, nobody comes in between me and my birdies. I'm not one of those review-whores. I don't moan for them, though I can tell you that motivation helps many people - including me - write faster. I LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING AND, IF I'M LUCKY, REVIEWING!(?)! THANK YOU! :DDDD