Quinn's POV
You blamed me for what? For finally admitting I had feelings for you? After two years, I've finally had the courage to do it and now you're blaming me. What a shitty move you did there. I was ready, and I still remember those words you whispered to my ear in senior year.
"When you're ready, just tell me and I'll be there to catch you."
I was so naïve thinking that you could possibly mean that even now. Everyone's made mistake, and I'm ready to correct the wrong even if you aren't there to catch me.
"Santana? Open up please" I yelled banging on the rusty, metal sliding door, in downtown New York.
"Quinn, Santana didn't mean any of what she said! She-""-I don't need you to speak for me Hobbit, Santana knows what Santana means!" I heard yelling and murmuring behind the hallow door standing between us three.
"I'll just come back later…" I whisper to no one in particular, it hurt knowing she didn't want to see or hear me right now.
Later, we've came to the point where if either Santana or I say "later" we actually mean never. It sucks to see how far we've drifted in less than a few years. But as they say, you don't know what can happen in a year. In a year, you can fall in love with your best friend, you can drop everything (even college) to finally come to the realization that you've been in love with someone for as long as you've known them, and have that said best friend tell you they're in love with someone else.
I snapped back to reality, when I heard a loud slam inside of the loft they shared with Kurt, "Lady Hummel," as Santana would say. I smiled at the thought, and slowly turned to go back where I came from.
The last words I heard were, "Santana you can't just kick her out! It's almost 12, she doesn't have anywhere else to go!"
I couldn't believe that I messed up real bad, I should've known this a long time ago, I should have told her, I shouldn't have waited this long to figure it out. I'm so dumb sometimes, the stereotypical blonde inside of me just had to show its true colors right now. When I realize that I've walked down the stairs all the way to the ground floor I hear someone call my name.
"Quinn! Hello, Quinn?" Kurt screamed as I finally notice he was right in front of me.
"Oh hey Kurt" I smile half-heartedly hoping he doesn't notice my lack of enthusiasm.
"Surely you weren't going to leave without saying hi to me first" He replied jokingly, but it still stung.
It stung because, I've stopped talking to half the glee kids when I left Lima for Yale. It stung because now he knows I came here not for him, but for someone else. It stung because he should've been the second person I should've talked to about my sexuality. The first being the Latina who's in a screaming match with Rachel upstairs.
"I'm sorry, I just-" Out of nowhere tears sprung from my eyes because of course I'm sorry, I'm incredibly sorry for shutting him out when he's been nothing but good to me during high school.
"Quinn, it's almost midnight are you okay? Come on let's go upstairs and get you some hot tea, it helps trust me" He offers with a concerned face.
I can't, I'm not allowed to go back there. I'm never allowed to go back there. I've screwed up and there's no way I can ever gain her forgiveness. I sniffed the last of my tears back and give him a plastered on smile.
"No thanks Kurt, I just came to tell Santana something. I should be going back to Yale now, I'll call you and we can catch up I promise" I said in a fast pace, it surprised me because I could definitely pass as Rachel right now.
With those last words hanging, I hurriedly walked past him to exit their building knowing that this was the last visit I could ever make back here. When I passed the main entrance of the building I completely forgot it was raining, and to make it worse I forgot my umbrella upstairs, how stupid of me. I forgot it in Santana's haste with throwing me out of their "apartment," you couldn't really call it an apartment when there weren't any walls or doors except for the bathroom one.
"Where is she?" I could hear her sweet, melodic voice from inside and that's when I decided to go where ever my feet took me.
I needed to run fast, I couldn't see her now, or ever. I ran past pedestrians walking home from a long night at work that looked at me crazy, I bumped into several people on their phones and had them yelling at me to slow down, and I ran as fast as I could until I couldn't breathe anymore. By the time I stopped, it looked as if I had just taken a shower. With my hair wet, clothes soaked, and feet throbbing from running in heels I felt as if the distance between she and I was too small. I had to keep running and never stopped.
I ran into the first alley I saw, thinking that it could bring me much closer to the train station. But to be mistaken, there were several men at the other end of the alleyway.
"Hey pretty lady" One of them yelled and it scared the living hell out of me.
Fuck no, I turned back as they started running towards me. This couldn't be how it ended for me, I can't be the one to always be hurt. I can't be the one to always end up in the hospital.
"Where do you think you're going?" Another man harshly pulled my wrist back making me face towards him and the others.
"Please don't hurt me…" I couldn't help but let out as they started chuckling, the next thing I know the side of my face is being slammed to the concrete wall.
"You think any of us are going to pity you?!" The same man hollered into my ear.
I couldn't see what they looked like for the dim light near us casted a shadow on their faces from their hoods. The man threw me onto the ground, and I spurted up blood. If this is how it's going to be every single time, I might actually start to believe this is how my life is supposed to be from now on.
The smell of alcohol and cigarettes filled my nose as the five or so of the men started to surround me like I was their prey, and they were the predators.
One of them dropped to their knees to make me face him, "Next time we come for you, you better be prepared. A beautiful girl like you, we'll never forget a face like yours," They laughed as he said these words with a smirk at the corner of his lips.
He raised my head even more making me look him in the eyes, and with that he back-handed the side of my face so hard I kept coughing up blood. I guess his hand made an incredible impact with the side of my head that I could barely hear anything that they were saying. All I could see was their shaking shoulders, as they shook with laughter. Never in my life have I felt so downgraded, I feel like I deserve this and I really do. I've hurt and pushed so many people away, and all they were trying to do was help.
All I could say was, "I'm sorry."
