Broken Hearts

Tears fill my dark eyes and I feel a lump growing in my throat. I sit outside the school building, music blaring through the headphones resting on my ears, snapping on my elastic bands that are resting around my wrist. The heat out here envelops me and I stop snapping to tug at the back collar of my black, fishnet sleeved shirt to try to cool off my back. It doesn't work.

I lean against the railing on the outside steps and close my eyes furiously, trying not to cry.

I listen to the beat of my music, following the instruments, trying to take my mind off of everything. School was dismissed a while ago, but I don't want to go home. Not to a mother who's too drunk to stand up, not to empty alcohol bottles, not to unclean dishes piling up in the sink. Home was not an option for me.

I angrily wipe the hot tears that work their way down my face and drip off my chin. I never knew how much it hurt to be rejected...until now. Because that's what I am. A reject.

Sean Cameron, my boyfriend of a few months, had told me that it "wasn't working out." The words felt like a million bricks to my chest. Like for one minute the world had just stopped. He told me that things were changing, that he didn't want us to go through something that wasn't meant to be. And before I had gotten the chance to respond, Jay, Alex, Amy and Towerz had joined him. Jay nudged him and said, "Let's get out of here."

Sean gave me one last glance before mouthing, "I'm sorry," and turning his back on me to leave with his 'friends'. They disappeared through the school's doors, leaving me stunned, betrayed and hurt.

So I sit here still wiping my eyes, trying to keep from sobbing my heart out. What had I done wrong? The one person I had expected to understand me didn't understand me as well as I had thought.

And I feel like the stupidest person alive for believing someone could care about me. After all, I'm just a joke to the rest of the world. Crazy, depressed, suicidal Ellie. That's all I am to those people.

I turn the volume on my CD player up louder, praying the music will drown out any other thoughts. I close my eyes and let the music take me over.

Two songs later, though, I feel tap on my shoulder. I pull my headphones off and open my eyes, which narrow slightly as I see Jimmy Brooks sitting on the step next to me.

"Jimmy," I say, though I say it as almost a question, very surprised as to why he's here.

The longest amount of time I had ever spent with him was in Saturday detention a while back in the year. Even then, he wasn't very nice to me, as we both come from very different groups. By the end of detention, though, us and the other three people who had joined us had formed somewhat of a bond. We finally understood each other; who we were and what we stood for. We talk on occasion, saying 'hey' to each other in the hallway or asking how each other are, but that was it.

"Ellie," he replies, almost mocking the tone I had used with him. He waits a moment before asking, "Are you okay?"

I focus my gaze on my black skirt, realizing that I probably look like such a moron sitting out here crying, with my eyeliner smudged and hair a mess.

"Great," I reply, with just a touch of sarcasm.

"Right," he says, not falling for it at all. "And that's why it looks like you've been crying."

"What are you doing here?" I demanded, looking up at him, feeling just slightly agitated. The whole purpose of sitting out here was to be alone; away from the rest of the world so I could...wallow.

"Had to talk to Kwan about that essay due next Tuesday and I came out here and saw you look more than a little upset."

"Well, it happens," I answer vaguely.

He raises his eyebrows, expecting a better response.

I sigh, giving in. "Fine. Sean broke up with me."

I feel stupid saying out loud; pitiful and weak.

He gave me a sort of sympathetic look.

"Join the club."

"What? Sean dumped you, too?" I joke, a smile tugging at my lips, despite how crappy I still feel.

He laughs softly and then shakes his head. "Not quite. I meant getting dumped. Join the club."

"But I thought you and Hazel had hit it off so well," I say with a small frown.

"That's what I thought too," he replies. "What happened with you and Sean?"

I shrug. "He said it wasn't working out."

"What? No explanation?"

I shake my head. "Not really."

"Sean's always been trouble. He wasn't worth it, Ellie."

I stare intently at my hands for just a moment. "But I thought he actually understood me. I thought there was so much more to him. Just goes to show how stupid I am."

"Well if you are, I am too. I thought the same thing about Hazel," he says, look at me.

I sigh again. "It sucks, doesn't it?"

He nods his head. "Definitely."

He stands up, and is now directly in front of me. "I was gonna get home and start on that essay...but I think food sounds much more appealing. Wanna go to the Dot and grab something to eat?"

I smile, glad for his invite, but...

"I don't think I'm really up to it," I reply.

"Oh, come on. You can get your mind off of Sean. You don't wanna waste your time feeling sorry for yourself. You'll just regret it later," he persuades, holding his hand out for me to accept.

I'm silent for a moment, but I finally decide it might be for the better. I slip my hand into his and get up, as we head for the Dot together.


The next morning at school, I see Sean in hallway. He's not alone, though. Emma Nelson is with him. She's holding onto his arm and he's grinning like a maniac as she lets out a laugh. I eye them enviously and angrily, upset that he could break my heart and then run off with his ex-girlfriend, as if our relationship meant nothing.

Nothing.

I lean against my locker and take in a sharp breath, trying to ignore the sight before me. Jimmy joins me moments later, noticing the same thing I had.

"Just forget them," he says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as an attempt to comfort me.

"I wish it were that easy," I tell him softly and he looks at me sadly.

"Don't worry," he says, "It'll get better. I promise."

I'm glad I accepted that invitation to go to the Dot with Jimmy. Because I know he cares. Because I know he understands what I'm going through. And that's all I've needed all along. Someone who will be there for me and offer some comforting words. Someone who will understand what I'm talking about. A real friend.


A/N: I don't like this very much. It's a bit rushed, I think. But that's only my opinion. So, let me know what you think. I don't know when exactly this takes place. It could be before the season finale, or even after. Whenever. =)