It was the longest wait imaginable, Alice found it literally unbearable—and yet speaking up with her frustrations and fears would only heighten the hysteria that was the pink elephant that was filling the spacious living room in the Cullen estate. Alice found herself sitting at the top of the stairs like a child, she ran her hands through her short, thick locks and found herself being relieved that Edward was off on Safari and could not read her mind and all the horrible scenarios within it. She looked down at her family, sitting unnecessarily still trying not to be as loving and affectionate as they wanted to be with their significant others for fear that they would hurt her, they'd been walking on eggshells and treating her like glass since Jasper left almost a week ago and for the life of her Alice couldn't figure out what was worse, the fact for the first time in their relationship she couldn't see him or his future in her visions or that if what she feared was true she would have to remain in a house with all this love and none to call her own. Jasper was her heart, she didn't want to settle for anything less and deep down she wanted to believe that the same for him. She'd be a fool to deny that this just might not be true.
Rosalie laid across the white cashmere chaise Emmett perched himself on and was trying to slip her fingers in between his without Esme giving them a glare. The sheer material of her black sundress draped across the long chair turned it a beautiful shade of grey. It was hard for her not to be as physical as she wanted to be with her mountain man. Carlisle and Esme managed to be as discrete and polished in their behavior toward each other around Alice nowadays, it seemed easy for them because it was best for one of their children. The natural instinct in times like these would be to gravitate toward the one you adore, let their touch and mere presence melt away all the fear and anxiety that might be building up when the possibility of losing a family member is eminent. Emmett was a shell of a man, his jovial laughter and winning smile had been lacking as of late and his eyes didn't shimmer with mischief, his best friend was gone and no one—not even Alice could tell when, or if, he'd ever return. Of course, he stayed silent with his insecurities and inner grieving, as bad as he felt he knew Alice was in a place none of them could fathom. It was at that moment that he noticed his goddess lounging next to him and trying to comfort him, he took her hand and gentle kissed her forehead. She gave him a quick smile, and squeezed his hand tightly. He inched closer to her and took her face in his free hand, she leaned into it deeply shutting her eyes and forgetting that anyone else was there. She inhaled sharply taking in this moment, the kind of moments that had been lacking recently and she opened hers to meet his knowing that he was thinking the same thing.
"I know you loved him, and you still do." He whispered, coarsely. He knew there was no sense in whispering everyone could hear them—but his voice came out soft and low. Rosalie moved in closer now just inches away from him, his exhale becoming her inhale. "He was your play twin in all this, I am not being much help in helping anyone through this. I am suppose to be your rock, and I cannot –have not been able to do that and for that…… I don't have the words to - - "
Rosalie cut him off with a deep kiss, and he took her face in both hands, not wanting to ever stop but at the same time needing to be heard. He was ready to talk all this out so everyone could live easier. But Roaslie smelled so sweet, and the touch of her lips on his made every fiber of his being tingle with anticipation of love between the two. She bite his bottom lip and he heard a sound that he hadn't heard in awhile, his own chuckle. He felt her smile against his lips. His hands slipped down from her face to her shoulders as he gently pushed her away.
"I love you." She spoke, clearly and authoritatively, almost as if it wasn't a declaration as much as it was a demand for him to act on it. Her eyes widened as she saw him about to speak up and she wasn't ready for him to as of yet. " NO, I do. I love Alice, Carlisle, Edward, Esme, and you know that Jasper was special to both of us—I am not giving up, you are not giving up. This waiting game sucks, I know but I do not want to hear you talk like it is over because you are going to fight like hell till it is and I am going to be standing right next to you looking a hell of a lot better doing the same thing."
This time it was Emmett who initiated the contact. Kissing her, he grabbed her in a tight embrace and locked a hand in her hair, leaning her back slightly till she was almost lying down again.
"HOW?" Alice said shrilly, as she realized for the first time that she had bounded down the stairs and was strutting toward them . Emmett, retreated off his wife to turn and look at his friend. "HOW?" She repeated.
" I'm not sure I understand the question?" Emmett said sitting, up as Rosalie slipped completely from under him and began to fix her dress. Esme and Carlisle began to approach them for the first time, crossing the room quickly to meditate anything that might happen, they'd been waiting for days for the cup to runneth over and it seems like this might be it.
"How can you sit there and pretend like he had nothing to do with this? How can you say that NOW you are willing to fight by him when all I was doing was fighting for him and you did nothing. Nothing , Rosalie. I've watched the four of you move around here like heartless ghosts and claim it was out of respect for me to make yourselves feel better about what did happen and how bad you feel now. Jasper is gone." Alice heard her voice crack, but she didn't want to waste any of this. She had been waiting for the moment when she'd have it all build up enough to completely speak her mind.
"Alice, darling, please this isn't…" Esme began gently laying her hand on her shoulder and trying to turn her away from Emmett and Rosalie and to face her, Alice jerked her tiny shoulder from under Esme's touch suddenly repulsed by it all.
"Isn't it?!?! I cannot think of anything that it is more!"She let out a sarcastic chuckle. "Carlisle, you changed Esme, Rosalie, and Edward when you thought that there was no other option. Rosalie, you did the same for Emmett, and I couldn't save Jasper—"
"From what Alice, what did he want to be saved from exactly? Please tell me what it is, because for the life of me I certainly didn't think I was just there to do what was best by all of us, but what he wanted too. Yeah, I know that it is hard and I cannot even imagine what hell it is to be sitting here waiting for a sign without so much of a clue as to where your husband is or if he is still alive but I am telling you for the last time, Alice, I did—he—we all did what was best for the greater good and you know that." Rosalie felt more like herself than she did in a long time, she finally spoke exactly what was on her mind. She rose to stand directly in front of Alice, Alice's eyes seemed to be filled with such hurt and rage and there was no one to take it out on. She was willing to take it as long as Alice was dishing it Edward was usually the person she would vent to and without that outlet, she was afraid Alice might just lose it. Far be it for her to let Alice take one step toward laying all this on Emmett, he was already so torn up that this would literally break him and the idea of letting anyone shout and demean Esme or Carlisle was out of the question. Rosalie locked eyes with Alice, placing her hands on her hips.
"Alice, I am sorry you feel that I would do anything to betray you. What, we have been here for far too long called the same place home, seen so much for you to honestly believe that anyone in this room doesn't want what's best for you. You know that. .."
"What's best for me, Rose, Please—tell me what you think is best for me because it seems to be that you only know what is best for you and Emmett. What's going to keep you two locked at the lips, connected at the hips, and…"
"And what Alice? I AM SORRY HE ISN'T HERE RIGHT NOW. But I can guarantee as sure as I am here that if our positions were flipped right now, I wouldn't be worried about how we got there I would be more concerned about ----"
"LIAR, you are full of it. If it were you, you would have ripped anything and anyone in your way to shreds you could have cared less about how it suited anyone else as long as you and Emmett were fine. That's what you do, that's who you are. You are the big, bad take-no-prisoners fighters and Jasper and I were the logical lets work this out. We balanced each other we all were a team once, a family and you just let some random stranger walk in and take one of us away—he would have never let that happen to either one of you. He would have fought for you, I swear he would have. You know he ---"
"Doll, Jazz was a killer. NO one is asking any of us to deny where we came from or who made us or why we are here so why the hell do any of his expect Jasper to give up any and every connection to the life he had before us?" Emmett posed the question not just to Alice but to the rest of his family. "I mean we love Jasper despite, we all do. We have to let him do this, I'd hate to see what would happen if we didn't . Who knows what kind of danger not only our family, but all these humans would have been in. I mean what were we to do kill Drea? Yeah, that would have worked out perfectly—I mean she is on the quick list to be a member of the Volturi and it's not like she is a stranger to Jazz, I think if anyone other than you had to be by his side right now, you'd want it to be her. I know you cannot seem right now, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing it could be mean that he is still with her. Rose was right, we cannot act like it's over, we've been having our own little mourning services for him all week and guess what: It's just torture, and I am not going to do it anymore. "
