Muses Battle Computers

We find our authoress in an epic battle. She was standing at one side of her kitchen, staring at the computer center. The laptop's blue screen of death stared back. She took a sip of her slushie. The screen flickered.

"You can stare at it all day and it's not going to do anything." Edward said.

"Why are you even here?" Abby snapped, not breaking eye contact with the screen. "I don't write Twilight stories."

"I'm here for your readers. Everybody loves a good vampire." He said grinning.

"Dracula was a good vampire, Sparkle Boy." Abby replied, but she smiled none the less.

"Plus you're not totally obsessed with me so you're not tempted to… what was that word?"

"Glomp." Abby grinned with pride. "It's new to my vocabulary! But Erik shows up here all the time and I don't glomp him." She muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

"Back to your computer issues." Edward said, moving towards the device.

"Stop! Right there." The authoress said, holding out her hand in a motion reminiscent of a crossing guard. "Don't touch it! I wanna see if my Jedi mind powers can fix it."

As everyone's favorite vampire wondered at how she could move so quickly without looking up at him, Captain Jack Sparrow swaggered into the room. Abby reminded herself not to jump up and down with joy. She was still in the process of getting used to actually seeing her muses in person.

"Something wrong?" Edward asked. You look like you're gonna be sick."

"I'm fine." Abby said. "Something wrong Captain?"

"Nope. Nothing that can't be fixed."

"You broke something didn't you?"

"Nope. I merely unfixed something."

"Great." Abby rolled her eyes.

"So what seems to be the problem?" Jack asked.

"Abby's computer is broken and she doesn't want me to fix it."

"This would be so much better if someone actually helpful showed up."

"Cuz for some reason the people that could actually be helpful right now never seem to show up." Abby turned her head (but not her gaze) from the computer screen again. "Why is that?"

"I'm not sure. I don't make the rules." Edward said, shrugging.

"I don't even know the rules." Jack mumbled.

"Like you'd follow them." Abby laughed.

"True."

"So what to do, what to do?" Abby sighed. "And why aren't there more of you this time? I usually get at least three or four."

"I think the strange chap in the mask was held up by fan girls."

"What the good Captain means to say is he threw him in front of the fan girls that were chasing him."

"I was simply helping Erik connect with his fans."

"Yes but I think throwing him was not the best way to go about it."

"Fine." Jack said, curtly. "I'll just throw you next time."

A low growl escaped Edward and Abby immediately jumped between them. Not that she could stop them but it was worth a shot.

"For the love of Michael Crawford will you two stop it?!" Abby shouted. "See look what you made me do! I broke eye contact with it! Now it knows it won!"

As if on cue the computer whirred and the screen flashed. The prompt for ctrl alt delete popped up. All three stared at the screen in wonder as it showed no sign of ever being broken.

"Ah ha ha! Victory!" Abby said dancing around.

"So that's it then?" Jack asked, sounding a little disappointed.

"Yep I guess so. And now I'm full of great ideas for a new chapter!" she said brightly. "Thanks guys! I guess that's it for today."

"Don't forget to update." Edward reminded.

"And make it a good chapter, you've kept the readers waiting for a while." Jack added.

"Ok, ok. I'll try." Abby agreed.