A Midsummer-Night's Nightmare

Dramatis Person

Aragorn King of Gondor

Arwen Queen of Gondor

Gandalf master of Ceremonies and general all round interfering busybody

Faramir In love with Éowyn

Éomer I In love with Lothriel

Bilbo an Hobbit

Frodo another Hobbit and a relative of Bilbo(its complicated)

Merriadoc/ Merry yet another Hobbit also a loose relation (its more complicated)

Peregrin/Pippin Yes, another Hobbit and general comic relief (and you guessed it – trying to keep track of this lots family trees is a nightmare)

Samwise/Sam Gamgee a simple hobbit (with a simpler family tree)

Fredgear/Fatty Bolger An Hobbit (As he's a rather minor figure do we real care about his family relationships? Thought not)

Éowyn In love with horses and Aragorn

Lothriel In love with Faramir and Éomer

Thranduil King of the Elves (one scary male)

Galadriel Queen of the Elves (one scary female)

Legolas A mischievous elf in love with a mirror

Haldir,Rumil,Orophin Elves (various)

Other fairies (sorry elves!) dwarves hobbits ghosts, etc, etc

Scene – Minas Tirith, the Palace, now belonging to Aragorn

Enter Aragorn, Arwen, Faramir …(Look! Just fill them in as they appear ok?)

Act 1.

Ara. "Soon be our big day sweetpea, glad our Dad decided to come after all it was touch and go there for a while- I thought at one point his eyebrows were going to go into orbit."

Arw. "Honey bun, Daddy can't help it if he's still a bit precious about his little princess he still thinks I'm a little girl, I don't think he'll ever remember that I'm 2779 next birthday."

Ara. Darling we don't use the 'p word' remember? It upsets people."

Far. "Wish it was me getting married." Looks longingly at Eowyn who is reading her 'what pony' magazine.

Eow. "Wish it was me getting married to the King guy he's almost as hot as shadowfax! Where is the horse and the rider?"

Eom. (To Faramir) "too long have you watched my sister and dogged her steps!"

Far. Erm, Dude that was the creepy worm guy."

Eom. "Sorry"

Loth. "Pick me! Anyone?"

Enter Ghosts of Denethor and Boromir

Den. (to Aragorn) "Get out of my palace you interloper!"

Bor. (To Faramir) "hey Bro! How's it hanging?" (attempts to high five Faramir, but ghosts can't do that and in any case no-one can see either him or his Dad. This being the wrong play for that type of thing - see Hamlet or Macbeth).

Scene - Frodo's lodgings in Minas Tirith Various hobbits and Gandalf

Act 2.

Gan. "Right you lot! You are going to put on a play to celebrate Aragorn's wedding."

Mer and Pip. "What us?"

Gan. "Yes you! And fame costs and right here is where you start paying!"

Hobbits look confused and even Gandalf seems a little uncertain as to where that came from.

Gan "So rehearsals and so on, the play will be about how Bilbo found the ring so I will assign the roles – Frodo, you'll play Bilbo since he's too old now to play himself"

Bil. (Muttering) Blooming cheek!"

Gan. Bilbo you can play Balin, Merry and Pippin can be most of the other dwarves, Sam you can be Gollum.

Sam. "You are joking aren't you Mr Gandalf sir? I can't possibly play him!"

Gan. You are in the service of the king now you'll do as your told!"

Fat. Excuse me Mr Gandalf what about me?"

Gan. "Pretty obvious I would have thought you're Bombur."

Hobbits mutter and complain a bit but conclude that at least they don't have to dress up as women since they are rather absent from these tales.