I hate this. I feel evil, like I betrayed my one and only love. I have to tell her. I will tell her. Tonight before she goes to sleep, I will finally get this burden of my chest. I feel like I violated her for my own pleasure, even though I stopped. Good thing I did. If I didn't, I would be feeling twice as much guilt as I do now.
Well, the time has come. Bella is laying in her bed reading and waiting for me to come through her window. I finally mustered up the courage to climb up the tree and leap into her bedroom.
"Edward," Bella said with a sigh telling me that she was glad I finally came.
"Hi Bella," I said with a shaky voice.
"What's wrong?" Great. She noticed my voice.
"Uhh, nothing. Well, something..."
She patted the mattress next to her signaling me to lay with her. I moved slowly to her side.
"Tell me." I said nothing.
"Does is have something to do with me?"
I nodded, my eyes closing with guilt.
"Well it can't be that bad, I mean, I'm still alive!" she said jokingly. "Unless, you cheated on me or something" she said with uncertainly and sudden sadness.
"No no Bella, absolutely not!" she relaxed her muscles again.
"So tell me Edward, please!"
"Ok ok. But if you're mad at me, all you have to do is tell me to get out, and I will." Her eyebrows bunched up. "I don't know how to explain this, so I guess it would be better if I showed you. She put the book she was reading on the night table next to her and looked back to me. "Last night, when you were sleeping…"
"Get on with it Edward!"
"Well, when you were sleeping, your—your—your shirt rode up a little like this." I pulled up her shirt so it revealed about three inches of soft, smooth, ivory skin between her sweat pants and shirt.
"And…" she said questioningly.
"Well…Ugh this is so embarrassing. "
"Edward, please just tell me, I'm dying here"
"Well when I saw that, combined with the luscious outline of your breasts," I looked down to see them, "I got—I got really turned on." I said as I bowed my head.
"Is that it Edward? Are you forgetting that I almost faint every time I kiss you? And don't you hear me talk in my sleep, your all I think about." Her words gave me some hope that she wouldn't be mad, but I wasn't finished yet. "I'm not done yet."
"Go on." I smelled the slightest bit her arousal in the air. She was lying on her left side and I was laying on my right. Her shirt was still up from before.
"This is what I did."
I then proceeded to raise my hand up to her right breast and cup it ever so gently while looking straight into her now widened eyes. Then I ran my fingers down her shirt to the bottom where I traced random patterns on the patch of skin that was revealed. Then I lifted her shirt ever so slowly savoring the soft, warm skin I touched along the way. She shivered as my hand become closer to her right breast. More of her arousal wafted in the air. I finally reached her breast and cupped it the same as I had done over her shirt. She let out a soft "Mmm." While her eyes closed. She was enjoying this as I hated myself for it. How odd. I pulled my hand away and soon it was combing my hair back.
"Bella." Her eyes opened I continued on with my story. "After that, I came to my senses…until you moved around and your shirt rode all the way up. Like this." Her heart started beating faster as I lifted her shirt all the way up revealing her supple right breast. Her cheeks burned red and I placed my hand on her one of them.
"What did you do next," she whispered. I removed my hand from her cheek and placed if over her breast. I felt her slightly hardened nipple in the middle of my palm. I squeezed her breast softly, then harder. Tiny, almost unnoticeable, moans were being made through a small part in Bella's lips. I replaced my whole hand with just my finger tracing a circle around her breast, winding down in a spiral to her now rock hard nipple. As soon as I made direct contact with it, she gasped I could hear the wetness pouring out of her and soaking her panties. I continued with tiny circles directly on her nipple as her breathing sped up. Then I took my pointer finger and thumb and pinched her nipple so lightly that it made her whimper for more. So I pinched harder, and harder again. Then I lowered the tip of my tongue to it. Bella jumped a little with my icy tongue collided with her fiery nipple because her eyes were closed and she didn't see it coming. I took her nipple into my mouth and began sucking.
That is when I realized that Bella's hand was in her sweats. If I had a working heart, it would have stopped. According to the little I could see and what I heard, I assumed that she has two fingers in her and her thumb was on her clitoris. My eyes were wide as I continued to suck her right breast and lifted my hand to her left. I started to do to the left breast as I did to the right, tracing circles around it. When I finally got to the pinching part, I switched nipples and began sucking her left as I pinched her right. Her fingers were still pounding in and out as she struggled for air. I still could not believe this was really happening, but I couldn't be dreaming.
"I love you Edward," she said panting.
I removed my lips from her breast to say "I love you too." I went straight for her plump lips and kissed her fiercely. Then I put my left hand down her sweats, pulled her fingers out, and replaced them with my own. Her hand went to my wrist as I began to pump in and out. I then curled my fingers repeatedly and she bit down on my shoulder as to not wake Charlie up. I began to kiss and lick her neck.
That is when she had her orgasm. Her breath hitched, her head was thrown back, and her mouth opened as if she was screaming, but she wasn't. It was one of the most amazing sights I have ever seen. When she came down from her orgasm, she cuddled next to me with her still revealed breasts pressed to me chest. I held her tightly.
"I'm sorry that I violated you without you knowing last night Bella. I feel terrible."
"Edward, the only thing I am angry about is that I was not awake when you touched me for the first time. Other than that…I love you." I could tell that she had no other words to say. "I love you" seemed to explain everything.
Bella drifted off to sleep and I held her the whole night.
I was glad it was a Saturday and we didn't have to go to school. I would be a happy man if I could just hold Bella all day. Before Bella awoke, I replayed last night in my mind over 100 times, and I couldn't help but think was that Bella's first time touching herself? I had to ask. She began to stir in my arms and finally she opened her eyes with a smile on her face.
"Good morning."
"Morning."
"I have a question."
"What is it?"
"Last night, was that—your first time—touching yourself?" She blushed and hid her face in my chest. "Don't be embarrassed. Is was so sexy." Her heart stopped for 0.5 seconds. She looked up at me.
"No. It wasn't the first time."
"When was then?"
"The first day I met you." Oh my god. Could I be any luckier?
I held her tighter with no intention of ever letting go.
