I do not own The Vampire Diaries at all… humf…

The story:

What if Elijah did die when Damon staked him? What if the other originals would never know about Elena, and Rose did not come back to Stefan and Damon? Elena and her friends are now safe, so will she go back to Stefan again? Set right before Damon confronts Elena with his feelings after the masquerade ball and the kidnapping with Trevor and Rose.


Elena looked herself over in the mirror. She had dark circles under her eyes and she basically looked like a huge mess. She sighed, deep in thought. Are thing back to normal? Am I safe? Are my friends safe? She closed her eyes a moment and bended over the sink to wash her face with ice cold water, it felt refreshing. She thought about Stefan. Does this mean that she and Stefan are back together? Did she really want that after everything that had happened?

She honestly didn't know.

She didn't know if her feelings for him were the same anymore, the hug they shared only hours ago didn't send sparks within her like the hugs she'd had from him before. It was really just comforting, like the smile and 'you're welcome' that Damon had sent her while she hugged Stefan. Damon. She was so confused. She had seen the disappointed expression on his face, she saw that he was hurt that she didn't hug him. She saw that he was mad at his brother for stealing his hug. But was it his hug? Did she want to hug him more than Stefan? She really didn't know. She didn't know where she had Stefan or where she had Damon.

Why couldn't things go back to the way they were before? She knew the answer; she had changed, her emotions had changed, Stefan had changed and Damon had changed. Everything has changed! She thought frustrated.

She sighed one last time and walked out of the bathroom and in her room, to find Damon sitting in her window frame.

"I got you this," He said and held her necklace out and walked towards her.

"Oh, I thought it was gone forever." Elena said, with just a hint of a smile on her lips, a greatful smile. She reached out to take it, but Damon held it back with a serious expression.

"Can I have it back?" She asked. She was a little scared, or worried of why Damon didn't give it to her right away. She tried to read his eyes, like she used to do, but surprisingly there were too many emotions behind them that she was overwhelmed. Damon never showed his emotions to any one. At least her!

"I have to tell you something first." He said and looked at her with pleading eyes, pleading for her understanding.

Elena looked at him with wonder and a hint of fear, "Why can't you say it while I have my necklace?"

"Because that would have been the most selfish thing I had ever done."

Elena looked him in the eyes and saw the remorse and guilt behind them. She didn't say anything as he stepped into her personal space and hovered over her and looked at her with his intense iceblue eyes.

"I… I love you Elena. I love you so much, but I can't have you. I don't deserve you, but my brother.. does. And I know he loves you, and I also know that you love him. And I can't find it in myself to come between what you two have, because that would have been too selfish of me. And I can't be selfish with you Elena, I can't!" He looked at her with tears in his eyes now. He shook his head to clear it and closed his eyes while he continued.

"I wish I didn't have to make you forget…"

"Don't." It came out as a whisper as Elena looked at him with wonder. She brought her hand up to his cheek and brushed his tears away, making Damon open his eyes.

"Don't." She said again and smiled.

Damon was out of words. He had planned this stage for stage. This was not in his plans, all he had wanted was to get this out of his system. Make it easier.

"But… Why?" He said and furrowed his eyebrows.

"I've been so unsure about my feelings after everything that has been going on lately. And now with the danger out of my life, or sort of out of my life, I want to remember that you do love me. It will help me to make the decision what to do. I can't say that I love you to, even if I did love you right now, because I do not know what I feel anymore. I don't know anything about myself and my feelings towards you or Stefan. And if you just erase my memory I will still have this feeling about you. Remember Jeremy? He said the feeling was always there. And if you do erase my memory, then I will just go back to Stefan until that feeling who says that something is wrong appears again and I will break up with him and leave both me and him heartbroken. And after that I would not known why I really did broke up with him. Just that it just felt wrong. Please let me figure out my feelings on my own. I beg you to do that for me Damon."

Damon couldn't look at her. Instead he looked at his hands and played with her necklace. And after a second he nodded his head and looked up and met her beautiful eyes. They were full of tears just waiting to spill over. Her shoulders shook as she tried to hold the tears in check. They looked at each other in several seconds and then Damon pulled her in an embrace.

"Elena, come here." He said in a comforting tone. She let the tears win and they ran freely from her eyes and she shook uncontrollably. Damon closed his eyes as his own tears spilled over again. What a mess…" He thought.

Damon pulled away to brush her tears from her cheeks. And Elena closed her eyes at the contact of his hands.

"Sooooooo… Better?" He said in an teasing voice and smirked.

"Don't do that!" Elena said angry.

"What?" Damon furrowed his brows and widened his eyes in a sexy way.

"You are shutting me out again!" She cried. "After we just showed our emotions for each other you just shut me out again. This isn't you Damon!"

Damon knew exactly what she meant, but he couldn't say that to her. It would show a weakness.

"Yes it is, Elena! This is me, I AM the sexy, dark vampire!" He crossed his arms in front of his chest and smirked at her again. " Don't you say that you don't like it Elena."

"I do like it some times, but not in situations like this! You just showed me that you aren't dark on the inside! I think that you are so more than just this emotionless, dark Damon. What are you afraid of? To seem weak?" She stomped her foot in frustration and walked over to her bed and laid down. "I know that you aren't weak Damon. Actually it is very strong of you to confront me of your emotions."

"Not for vampires Elena." Damon said sad. "As a vampire you can't show your enemies that you care for someone! Then they can just take the person you love and you have lost! You lose your life AND the person you love! I can't do that! Not against you! And I've already said that, I can't be selfish with you Elena!"

"How can it be safe then Damon? Huh?" Elena said still crying.

"You…. You would have to turn, then it would be safer." Damon said and shook his head. "I can't do that to you Elena. Just suck it up and realize that Stefan is the one you can have your dreamlike life with. I will just give you pain and the dark." Then Damon blurred out of her room. Elena closed her eyes and began to breathe faster and faster. She moved her hands to hold her throat in a helping matter for her breathing and found her vervain necklace. How could this happen?

Damon ran into the forest. He ran and ran and ran. Until he saw a river, The river. The river where Elena's parents died. The river where Stefan saved Elena from dying. Damon had watched everything that day.

Damon sighed, why hadn't he erased her memory? Was it because he really did want her to choose him in the end? Did he really think that would happen? He sighed again. Why was his life so horrible? Ever since Katherine and her game his life had been a mess. And now was no difference!

Elena slept dreamless that night. She didn't move or made a sound. And when she woke she felt refreshed and happy. Then she remembered the night before and her happy morning crashed and she looked up in the ceiling and thought, and thought and thought.

She didn't go out of bed the whole day. She just laid there with her eyes closed and thought about everything; her feelings, her situation, her life. Everything.

In the end she just thought: Stefan…. Damon…. Stefan…. Damon…. Over and over again.

At some point she fell asleep again and didn't see the brothers come in through her window.

"Uh.. It stinks in here!" Damon said and wrinkled his nose.

"She hasn't been up from bed at all today Damon, how did you think it would have smelled after that?" Stefan said. Damon just rolled his eyes at him.

Damon and Stefan were worried about Elena when she didn't show up to school. Bonnie had called a few times and wondered what they had done toward her, and Jeremy, who had walked into her room before school that morning, were worried that she had gone into shock after everything that had happened lately. He hadn't been able to get a response from her and when he shook her shoulder she had just closed her eyes.

So, here they were to take care of their love. Damon walked around in her room looking for, well something to look at while Elena slept. He was bored to death. Stefan, who sat beside her on the bed, looked at his brother annoyed. "Can't you just sit down and wait?" He asked Damon.

"What is the fun in that?" Damon answered with a grin. He opened her closet and looked through her lingerie. "How can she walk around with these?" He said in shock. He held a white bra with pink hearts on it. He muttered something like 'innocent child' and continued to search through her room. Stefan just rolled his eyes and said, "I think that you invade her personal space with doing this. How would you feel if she suddenly wanted to search your room?" Damon just grinned at him.

"She is more than welcome. There isn't anything in there that I'm afraid of sharing with her."

Damon's eyes brightened, "Bingo!" He held up her diary and did a little happy dance. Stefan looked at him with a sour expression.

"Damon…." He began, but Damon wouldn't have any of that.

"I know you want to read Stefan, just swallow your noble shit and read." Stefan sighed and walked over to where Damon stood.

They read about her parents death. About when she first met Stefan. About Stefan. More Stefan. Stefan, Stefan and Stefan! Damon rolled his eyes and looked at Stefan who looked too happy for Damon's taste.

He turned the page and they read the two last entries. And they were met by Damons name. And Stefan. But here she wrote about her confused emotions and about how different Stefan was and about their pause in their relationship. And she wrote about yesterday. Shit, Damon thought and glanced at Stefan. He wore a pained expression, but right then Elena began to stir and both brothers were at her side in an instant. Damon had already returned the diary and stood there with a grin on his face.

Elena wasn't really asleep when they read her diary. She was shocked that Stefan also read her diary with Damon. She trusted him. And she already knew that Damon would do it, but she couldn't find herself to be angry at him for it. When they had read for awhile she got bored by their silence and pretended to wake up. She heard that they hurried to her side and she opened her eyes and smiled.

"Hey." She said, trying to hide how uneasy it was for her that both of them were here. Damon saw it in an instant and moved a little away from her bed and asked, "Are you hungry or thirsty? Shall I get you something?" Stefan stiffened, since when was Damon nice? He looked at his brother in wonder and Damon rolled his eyes at him.

Elena smiled in thanks and nodded her head while saying she was a little thirsty. Damon disappeared in a blur.

"Elena, how are you feeling?" Stefan asked and tried to hide his jealousy. Elena looked at him and saw a boy that she used to love. And in that moment she realized that he wasn't who she wanted. She wasn't in love with him anymore.

Stefan, who began to worry about her silence, brushed her cheeks and smiled, but it wasn't reassuring like it used to be. It was more like a scowl… Elena 'huffed' and closed her eyes.

"Stefan, I think we shall stop this pause in our relationship."

Stefan, who thought she said that she wanted to be with him smiled a huge smile and leaned in to kiss her. But Elena stopped him in the last second and continued; "I mean that we shall end this whole thing. I am not in love with you anymore. We have changed so much Stefan. And I realize that you aren't what I need and want."

Stefan nearly lost his temper when she said that, but he held it together and asked, "So you want Damon now, huh?" He didn't let her answer, he just looked at her in disgust and ran out her window. Elena was shocked. Wow. He just ran away.

She tried to feel something sad or angry about that Stefan had ran away from her, but she could only feel happiness that this was so easy!

She smiled and then put the covers aside and stepped out of bed.

"Oh, don't you want your breakfast in bed?" Damon smirked, he held a plate with a sandwich and a glass of orange juice.

"Ooh, yes of course!" She said surprised and sat back in her bed and smiled.

"Where is Stefan?" Damon asked and hid a smile.

"Like you don't know!" Elena rolled her eyes at him. "I know you heard it all Damon. And I don't want to talk about it. Right now I really want to enjoy my late, late breakfast."

Damon smiled and watched as she ate her sandwich, and when she was done she thanked him and excused herself to the bathroom.

Damon sat at the edge of Elena's bed in silence, just thinking of what had just happened between Stefan and Elena. Why did she do that? Why break up for good with Stefan when he could give her so much love and peace? Damon hoped and wished that it was because of him. But as she said the day before: She was unsure of her feelings.

Elena came out of the bathroom in a little towel around herself, clean and done and was met with a grinning Damon.

"What?" She said and wrinkled her nose.

"You do realize that you're just in a towel right?" Damon said and grinned even wider.

"Uhm, yeah. So? You're so old-fashioned Damon!" She grinned back and turned to her closet. She picked out a black thong and lace bra. Damon's jaw opened, he hadn't seen those in his searching earlier. Elena saw his shocked expression and laughed.

"So, SO old-fashioned !"

"AM NOT!" He said and played offended.

"Noooooooooooooo!" She said and rolled her eyes.

Damon huffed and looked at her while she dressed herself under the little towel. But while she was working on getting on some jeans the towel dropped and she stood there freezed. She saw the smug smile on Damon's face. At that she just straightened up and rolled her eyes at him.

"See something you like Damon?" She said while she pulled on a singlet and walked over to him.

"Well… If you have to know…. Yeah, I do." He said and smiled even wider.

"Elena…" Damon's smug expression was gone. "Why did you break up with Stefan?"

Elena looked at him with a smug smile on her lips.

"Well… If you have to know…" She repeated his words from earlier. "I realized that I wanted you. That I needed you."

"But, what about what I said yesterday?" Damon said worried. He didn't want her to die, in no way. He told this to her and she just smiled.

"If you die, even if it is a natural death, I can't continue to live without you if I let my feelings win over me. I want you Elena, but you will die whatever we do! And I don't want that for you or me!"

Elena continued to smile.

Damon looked at her and suddenly understood what she meant. She wanted to turn. To live with him!

"Elena…. Are you sure? I can't…" Elena placed a finger on Damon's lips and moved to straddle his lap. And then she kissed him. She kissed him hard, and Damon returned the kiss instantly.

She pulled away. "Damon I love you."

Damon kissed her. How could he, Damon Salvatore get so lucky?

Elena pulled away from him again to breathe and when she could breathe again she said; "Turn me Damon, let me live with you forever. I want you, and I want the life you have as long as I can be with you."

"I love you Elena."


Well…. Hope you like it!

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Love from Norway ;)