Chapter 1- August 2021


"Looks like Neville wasn't joking back in June, then." James Potter said with a casual grin, passing his mother the letter he had just received from Hogwarts and the badge that had come with it. He looked away as his casual grin turned into a wide, unsubtle, and ever-so-slightly proud grin- he didn't want to seem too arrogant, and he didn't want to make a big deal out of it. It was just a badge after all, whether or not he'd be any good at the role was another matter entirely.

"Oh James! I am so so so proud!" his mother, Ginny Weasley, exclaimed, pulling her son down to her level (around a foot below his) and embracing him. "All Os last year, and Head Boy as well! You are fantastic, and I am so proud of all the work you've put in!"

"Thanks Mum," he said in reply, the grin on his face drooping slightly as he began to wonder… what if these weren't all Os? What if he wasn't Head Boy? What would his mother have to say about him then? Would she be proud, or would she be-

"And James, you know that as delighted as I am for you for all your success, and clearly wonderful reputation with the staff, I would be just as delighted in you if the marks were lower, and if this badge wasn't here. You're a wonderful, wonderful boy, and I am just so proud of the man you are becoming, okay?" she said sternly, looking at him carefully.

James reached down and hugged her again, it was amazing how she seemed to know exactly what he was thinking, it was amazing that she had cut him off mid-thought in order to reply to said thought. His mother was amazing. She was amazing because she knew exactly what to say, because she knew that the first thing he wanted to do was not inform his grandmother, even though he knew she'd be beyond thrilled, because she knew that just for the moment he wanted to enjoy this moment peacefully.

And peaceful it was. After exchanging another smile, James offered to make them some tea and Ginny nodded. James went into the kitchen and made them tea, and then he sat down at the table to read through his letter properly as he sipped from his mug. His mother sat opposite, proofreading an article she would be sending out to her editor later that day. It was half past nine in the morning, so his father was at work and Albus and Lily, his brother and sister, would remain asleep for another two hours. He and his parents were early-risers, and a part of him would always cherish school holiday mornings for this reason, it was nice sometimes to not even be a brother, to just be a son and to just quietly be. Maybe it was strange that he was almost eighteen years old and still felt privileged to spend time with his parents, but James instead chose to see it as a blessing- his parents were fantastic, and he was so lucky to have them. And this was his time in the morning, so he could come across as sentimental as he liked.

The letter said that the Head Girl was Annabelle Boot, a very intelligent and beautiful Ravenclaw. James had never really spoken to her properly, had only ever exchanged the smallest of small talks, but he had always thought that she seemed nice enough. Hopefully, he would get to know her a little better this year, hopefully they would be a good team.

A good team. Which reminded him of Quidditch. Oh dear. Quidditch Captain still as well as Head Boy. It wasn't that he'd give up either position for the world, it was just that James was suddenly very aware of how many hours a week they'd need to do practice, and of how many hours a week he would be needed for Head Boy duties, and on top of that- how many hours a day he'd need to study in order to stay on course for the straight Os he was determined to get at the end of his NEWTs. He shook his head to try to clear it. For now, he was just going to let himself be happy with what he had.

"Any plans for today, then?" his mother asked.

"I think me and Freddie are going out tonight, but apart from that, no." he replied.

"So are you free for lunch at your grandparents', then? I know you were there just the other day, but I'm sure your grandma would love this chance to fuss over you for being Head Boy! Your Dad finishes at lunch today, so he'll be there and I imagine Lily and Al will be as well. I think Ron and Hermione and Hugo, maybe Rose, are going to be there too."

"You don't need to convince me, Mum. You know I like seeing them," he replied.

"I know you do. It's just you need to know that you don't have to be pleasing us all the time, that sometimes you can just do your own thing, y'know? You are completely free to be an idiot seventeen year old boy if you like, just as you are completely free to not be."

"Well trust me, Mum, I am an idiot seventeen year old boy. Anyway, what's with all this worrying about whether I'm really happy being good and stuff?"

"I'm just a little worried you've been putting too much pressure on yourself, and that maybe because you are such a wonderful boy, we've come to make you think we all expect perfect. We don't, okay? We just want you to be happy!"

"I am happy, Mum. I promise!" he said with a grin, and he, for the most part, truly believed this.

James went upstairs and got in the shower and tried again to shake his worries and slight uneasiness off. Right now he was a straight O student, he was Head Boy, and he was Quidditch Captain. He was good and he was kind and he was respected. All of those things were great, and whilst he knew that stress was ahead of him, it was not yet upon him, so for now he was just going to enjoy the day and enjoy the last two weeks of his summer.

James was hungover. He and Freddie had stayed in The Three Broomsticks until it closed at about half past one in the morning, and they'd been doing shots of firewhiskey as well as drinking far too many pints of alcoholic Butterbeer. It had been a good night, it was always wonderful catching up with Freddie as Freddie was always such a great person to be around. Freddie had only just got back from his family holiday in America, where they'd all gone with his father to set up the first American WWW. He was full of stories about the people he'd met, and said that apparently their family, James' father in particular of course, were somehow more famous in America than they were in Britain which was strange, considering the war hadn't really spread a lot further than Europe by the time their family and many others had put an end to it. Freddie said that he'd eventually got behind the mystery of it when someone he'd got off with informed him that they taught very recent Magical History at their Wizarding schools, so because of that the war stories were very well known and all the heroes were highly respected by all.

"Someone you got off with?" James had asked, raising an eyebrow at his cousin. Freddie, he was pretty sure, was gay, but for some reason didn't feel fully comfortable disclosing that information to anyone, even to James, his best friend.

"Yeah, someone." Freddie had said, then, after taking another shot, he'd elaborated, "Yes, fine, a male someone. I don't know how the hell you know, though, James, I don't think I'm that obvious."

"You're not," James had assured him, "It's just I know you better than anyone else, and I live with you in term time, and I know that you've never even subconsciously checked out or talked about girls despite the fact that every now and then you tell me about a person you got off with, always keeping it gender neutral. It's fine, okay? You know that, right?"

"You're far more observant than people give you credit for, you know that right?" Freddie had commented, prompting another eyebrow raise from James.

"Observant enough to notice that you're now changing the subject. Which is fine. Just know that if you want to talk, you can. Always here for you! More shots?"

Those 'more shots' had been a big mistake. A huge one. James could not stop thinking about how much of a mistake those shots had been as he leapt out of bed and ran into his en suite bathroom, reaching the toilet just in time to vomit his stomach up into it.

James got back into bed, feeling simultaneously sorry for and ashamed of himself. His head ached and he was feeling really dizzy. Looking at the clock, he realised it was only six in the morning, meaning that there was a chance he could drink some water now, go back to bed, and wake up in a few hours pretty much recovered.

And luckily, that was what happened. James woke up again at half past ten feeling completely normal. He stretched and then went into his bathroom to take a shower. He'd forgotten to flush his vomit earlier, and was mildly disgusted to see the very unnatural colour of it- fruit flavoured firewhiskey was unlikely to be something he'd be drinking for a while. James flushed the toilet and looked at his reflection in the mirror. Aside from looking slightly paler than normal, he looked fine, same freckles, same brownish reddish endlessly untamable hair, same hazel eyes. He wasn't wearing his hangover today, and that was a relief because for some reason he always felt slightly guilty about getting drunk and about his parents seeing him drunk or hungover. He wasn't sure exactly why that is, but part of it was to do with him feeling guilty about how much easier his teenage life was compared to theirs. That was why it was the least he could do to get top grades, be a good Quidditch player, and be a good person, he wanted to show that he was taking all the opportunities he had to use his comparatively easy life for good.

At around eleven, James went down to the kitchen to get coffee and toast. Lily was just about stirring then too, and they met on the stairs.

"Hey James, no early rising today, then?" she asked with a sleepy grin, yawning and stretching.

"No, but I'm far more awake than you right now regardless. Far more ready to face the day, to face various dangers and dramas, see if we get suddenly attacked by ummm bad people, I won't be duelling in bright pink pyjamas!" he said teasingly, unable to find it hilarious how different Lily-in-the-holidays was compared to Lily-at-Hogwarts. Lily was almost fifteen years old, and from the age of about thirteen had mastered the art of charming people, particularly boys around her age, and this meant she had to maintain what she'd once told James was her 'super cute regime' which basically meant always being impeccably dressed and alert, no scruffy clothes or sleepiness allowed in public. But this wasn't in public, and James loved how in the holidays she went back to being a sleepy, messy little girl with messy hair and pyjamas which undeniably clashed with her hair. It wasn't one of those weird protective-possessive-aggressive big brother things, it was just that he knew far too much about the pain of people-pleasing and term time could never help but worry about Lily worrying about meeting expectations too so it was good to see her relaxed, with all those pressures off.

"Actually, I'm shockingly good at duelling, and no attacker would expect the small girl in pink pyjamas to be able to cause actual damage, so I'm at an advantage! Besides, it's not like your jeans and t shirt are armour or anything!"

"Fine, whatever! Race you to the toaster?" James said with a laugh. On the rare occasions he and Lily shared breakfast times, there was always some competition over who would first make their toast. They'd been doing this as long as they could remember and it was stupid but it was great.

They tore downstairs, neck and neck, and rushed into the kitchen, playfully pushing each other aside as they ran to the toaster. They were both just about to reach the bread when they heard amused laughter. In the kitchen with Al and their father sat their cousin Rose, and she and Al's friends Scorpius and Melody. Lily collapsed into a chair laughing and James laughed as he seized the opportunity to win the race and get his toast in the toaster.

"Forgot you lot were coming," Lily was saying, grinning at Melody and Scorpius, "I'm Lily if you didn't already know, and that's James if you didn't already know."

"Hi, yeah. I'm James, and Lily, I believe the score is now eight-seven to me this summer!" he said, doing a mini victory bow. It was only as he looked up properly that he really saw Melody. Wow. He'd never really looked at her before, she was just a dark haired Ravenclaw girl who was sometimes around, he wasn't sure he'd ever really even seen her face properly. He could see her face properly now and it was beautiful. She had very light skin, very dark eyes, very dark hair, and very delicate, gentle features, her lips were pink and she had a little glitter on her eyelids.

"Nice to meet you, but it's Mel, not Melody." Melody said with a smile, blushing slightly then looking away and taking a sip of her coffee. James forced himself to look away and said hello to Scorpius, who he'd spoken to a few times before.

James and Lily ended up joining the four of them for breakfast, all taking it turns to make more toast or put the kettle on for more tea or coffee. It seemed that Rose, Scorpius, and Mel all had coffee habits to rival his, and they were all on the verge of getting stupidly competitive about it. James allowed himself to look at Mel only a few times because he didn't want anyone to realise just how fuzzy he felt looking at her even though they'd only really just met. Instead, he focused his attention on reading the situation of all at the table, particularly the situation of his cousin Rose, and Scorpius Malfoy. They kept sneaking glances at each other, clearly thinking they were being subtle but failing quite dramatically. Scorpius, in particular, showed signs of immense adoration. As Rose spoke in her usual hilarious yet melancholic way about everyone and everything, there was this look of utter captivation on his face. It was doubtful either knew exactly how stupidly in love they looked, and James suspected they didn't even know their feelings were returned by each other. Hopefully they'd work it out before too long, hopefully one or the other would get past whatever it was preventing them from saying something.

He learnt that Scorpius was staying with them for the week, and that Mel was staying at Rose's for the week.

"Why're you not all staying together? Like why not all of you here or all of you at Rose's?" James asked.

"Because my house is not an especially fun place to be right now, so I need moral support for this last week, and obviously as we live just down the road my parents would see no point in me staying here, or Albus staying at mine. Not to mention the fact that my dad every now and then shows himself to be a prejudiced prick about Scor's family, and also seems to be the archetypal ironically protective father from time to time, so non family member boys in my room are a biiig no." Rose told him flatly. James wasn't sure what to say. He was getting the impression more and more that Rose's family life was becoming more and more difficult but didn't understand exactly what the problem was as none of them seemed to ever want to talk about it.

"Well you know you're always welcome here, yeah? No questions asked and all that, you know what our parents are like," James said, Al and Lily nodded. They were all very aware of just how lucky they were to have such kind, fun, and understanding parents. If Rose said she needed to stay, neither would even likely make her say why if she didn't want to. Hugo, too. James saw less of Hugo than Rose, but he and Lily were quite close and he knew she worried about him a lot, as did Rose, she had once said something about how he was so delicate it scared her but James had never really understood what she meant.

"Yeah," she said with a smile, "love you Jamesie," she finished jokingly. Except James knew it wasn't really jokingly because he knew Rose and he knew that she, like he, like most of their family, struggled to really express her emotions seriously and had her own way of expressing affection.

After another cup of coffee and one last slice of toast, James left the table to go back upstairs. He planned on going through all of the potions made in class through sixth year and checking his understanding of the fundamental instructions and the effects of each potion too. He was determined not to let his success go to his head academically, it was all very well to have been good at these potions last year, but that would mean nothing if he didn't keep going through them and refreshing his memory of them. It was the same for all of his subjects. He didn't want the month before exams to be any more hellish than it needed to be, and he knew that he'd feel better overall if he knew he'd done the absolute best he could. James Sirius Potter never gave anything any less than one hundred and ten percent and that wasn't about to change any time soon.