eddie Title: Remains of the Day.... yup we're talking about some definite Remains here.
Category: Mainly general though a scattering of N/D and R/F stuff.

Summary: Joy got overworked writing Alice's Father Returns so late one night while imbibing on some mountain dew an idea struck..... so hence a fluff piece about Eddie. Warning Character Death!!

Rating: Likely a G, will warn if future chapters go above.

Disclaimer: Yes Frasier is all mine.... stand back grub street.... Yeah right, standard fare, not mine just using them for a bit, will return them all in one piece, even Eddie.

Thanks to all my Frasier club fanfic pals who have proofed the draft or idea..... and thanks to Pepsi Co. for creating Mountain Dew, the drink of choice to cause such brain spasms that result in fics like this.

Chapter 1

"Now I'll be back from my hunting trip tomorrow evening, you two be sure and take good care of Eddie." Martin Crane again reminded his sons as they were helping him carry his equipment to the elevator.

"We will Dad, he'll be fine, trust us." Frasier assured him again.

"Yes Dad, two grown men can take perfect care of a dog for a weekend, don't worry about a thing and have a good time." Niles chimed in as they watched the elevator doors close.

"So shall I call the kennel or will you?" Frasier said the moment the doors were closed.

"Oh heavens no, I did that last time remember and Dad wouldn't forgive me until I bought him one of those baskets full of meat." Niles looked horrified at the remembrance. "Besides you can take care of Eddie, he's not that much trouble."

"Now you aren't going to lay this all on me." Frasier got defiant. "I am not going to spend all weekend dogsitting while you do nothing."

"I have no intention of doing nothing Frasier, I'm going to take Daphne to dinner, and to the opera, and then we're going to the zoo..." Niles began, smiling as he just thought of spending time with his fiancee.

"And you think all I'm planning on doing it sitting around the apartment?" Frasier huffed.

"I'm the one with a girlfriend." Niles said snidely..

"Well for your information I was going to the Atlantis with Roz and Alice. So there!"

"You sure are spending a lot of time with Roz lately." Niles sounded suspicious.

"Oh don't change the subject, you take care of Eddie." Frasier says as he starts whistling for Eddie. The brothers are surprised when he doesn't appear and begin looking for him when they hear a shout from the front door.

"Helllloooo......" the doorman was calling into an open door. "Did you guys let the dog out?"

"Eddie might have escaped while we were arguing in the door!" Frasier suddenly thought as they ran into the living room. "Where is he?"

"Well I'm not sure if he's yours, but knowing Mr. Crane had just left...." The doorman began.

"He has a collar on if it's Eddie you would know." Niles breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well I didn't get that close" the doorman wrinkled his nose. I don't like dealing with animal remains.

"Remains..." Niles and Frasier gasped in unison as their jaws dropped in horror.

"Yeah, saw a dog rush out the revolving doors and get hit by a taxi. It moved to fast for me to really get a good look though. Fortunately it was quick and painless." The doorman continued.

"Eddie.... eddie...." Niles called plaintively and started looking around the apartment..

"Oh please let Eddie be here," Frasier began turning the apartment upside down, even looking under the cushions in a beginning state of hysteria.

"Frasier, you realize we're going to have to go look don't you?" Niles finally braced himself.

"Yes, I suppose we will." Frasier gulped as the two brothers followed the doorman out to the elevator.

LATER

"Dad is going to kill us." Frasier lamented as he carried the garbage bag containing Eddie's remains into the living room and sat it on the floor. The brothers stared in horror, both praying that by some miracle Eddie would leap back to life.

"Heeellllooo" They were interrupted as Daphne walked in the front door.

"Daphne!" The two jumped guiltily, automatically stepping in front of the bag.

"Why are you guys acting so strange, oh wait you're hiding something aren't you Niles?" She cooed as she began to approach them.

"Stay back!" They both shouted in panic, causing her to retreat.

"Geez, what's going on here?" Roz had suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"Oh for heavens sake Frasier, why can't we keep the blasted door shut?" Niles moaned.

"You're the one that left it open to begin with," Frasier snapped.

"Daphne, what's going on here?" Roz was obviously perplexed.

"I haven't the foggiest idea, except that they're hiding something?"

"Move over boys, I'm going to find out what's going on here so you two can quit acting so strangely." Roz moved purposefully towards the duo. Pushing them aside like children when they tried to stop her.

"Roz.... don't...." Frasier tried to object even while Roz was peering into the bag.

"Oh my....." She looked up in absolute horror, staring at Frasier and Niles in shock.

"What is the bloody secret already!" Daphne exclaimed getting angry.

"Eddie's in that bag." Roz gasped.

"What?" Daphne's eyes grew round.

"I swear it was an accident..."

"He got hit by a car"

The guys started talking over each other trying to explain themselves to Roz and Daphne who were now staring at them in mixed shock and horror.

"You guys are dead!" Daphne finally said.

"Martin is going to be so upset, I can't believe you let Eddie get hit by a car." Roz accused, looking directly at Frasier.

"Don't look at me, Niles is as much to blame as I am." Frasier tried to defend himself.

"Me?" An outraged Niles began to argue.

"Stop it!" Roz and Daphne said loudly before the argument began full force. "It doesn't matter who's fault it is, the question now is what are you going to do?" Roz said taking the still dazed and upset Frasier by the elbow in an attempt to bring him back to a rational state of mind.

"Yes, the deed is done, now we just have to figure out how to handle it." Daphne agreed, moving over to calm Niles down as well.

"Does this mean you will both help us?" They looked up hopefully.

"You know I'm always here to help you love." Daphne sighed, kissing Niles on the cheek.

"And heaven only knows the mess you would make of it if I didn't help." Roz said, squeezing Frasier's arm affectionately.

"You're a true friend aren't you Roz," Frasier said dryly as the four sat down to stare at the bag and began their brainstorming.