Juliet's Breakdown

by: apple jacks jules

Note: Mr. Yin Presents was just so angsty and good...I can't stop!! :p But no matter which bits I try to write on, I can't get the feeling that I'm trying to communicate with any of these little oneshots :p. But I'll do my best until I get it right!! ;) Please don't get sick of me; I will try to please O:).

Oh, and I realize that this might be slightly OOC in some bits, but...the girl has been through a lot now. She can't be expected to bounce back immediately. And my thoughts are kind of all over the place right now...*blush*

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I am sick of people asking if I'm okay.

Um, yeah, excuse me? Hi, I'm Juliet, the girl who almost fell off a clock tower and died. The one who just watched a friend get murdered, fell into his killer's trap, and then got rescued by everyone but the one man that I needed to see. I know that I told him to go and save Abigail, that's what he needed to do---but there's a part of me that's selfish enough to wish that he had come for me and let the others go after her instead. Is there anything so wrong with that?

So the answer to all the questions? No, I am not okay. I'm alive, I'm safe, and I'm "fine"; but I am not okay.

I finally managed to scare away the last officer trying to take a statement from me. I already gave them my darn statement, now can't they leave me alone for five minutes to catch my breath?

Carlton can't, apparently. Carlto Lassiter, my partner, my mentor...and one of my best friends. Somehow, I can't find itin myseld to yell at him, too. In fact, I can't find it in myself to yell anymore, period. I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore, I'm just so stressed and emotional and drained.

I'm breaking down. I can't believe I'm doing this, I don't cry! I'm supposed to be a detective, I'm supposed to be calm, strong Jules. But I let those first stupid tears escape, and now I don't know how I'm ever going to stop.

Carlton's hug is not the comfort that I crave---not that I don't appreciate it---but I'm used to not getting what I want. Besides, I've never seen him this way. He's so...soft and gentle and caring and really not like the tough, never-let-them-see-you-weak Carlton Lassiter that I know. I think he was actually scared for me.

I don't know how, but he seems to know exactly how I'm feeling right now. He's not Shawn---and he'd kill me if I compared him to Spencer---but this is what I need right now, and I'll take it with thanks.

I can't stay strong forever.

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fin.

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Note: *sigh* It's still not the mood that I was going for, but I suppose I can live with this. Thoughts? :)