I know I said I wouldn't start any stories till I'd finished some of the others, but this one only has two chapters. I just had to write something after Saturday's mini-episode. I have a few ideas for other baby stories too, but I'm sure they'll keep.
Ethan rocked the sobbing bundle in his arms and thought, not for the first time, about how quickly things had changed. One moment, Cal was making his first tentative steps back into dating. Now he was making his first tentative steps into fatherhood.
He'd always known Cal was a fast worker, but this was ridiculous.
The sounds of crying intensified and Ethan did his best to make comforting noises. "Sh. Sh. It's okay. It's going to be all right. I'm here and I'm going to look after you. We're a family now and you're going to be fine. We can make this work. Sh, don't cry!"
He didn't think he was getting anywhere with the soothing, but he would keep trying. It wasn't easy, though. Every fresh wail echoed in his heart and he was starting to feel quite tearful himself.
How could any mother abandon her baby? How could she even contemplate it?
And to leave Cal and break his heart for a third time... this woman was too much.
Ethan was just wondering if he could get away with shedding a few tears when the other occupant of the bed woke up. Fresh howls filled the air.
Oh, brilliant, thought Ethan, but with more concern and despair than annoyance.
Cal lifted his wet face from Ethan's shoulder. "Is that the baby?"
"Yes: that's our baby," said Ethan, surprised by a surge of pride. "Why don't you give her a cuddle?" But Cal looked so overwhelmed, Ethan quickly changed his mind. "It's okay. I'll do it. Come on, Flibbertigibbet. Come to Uncle Ethan."
He let go of Cal and reached around him for the baby. He rocked her in his arms, much as he'd been doing to Cal, speaking softly. He kept half an eye on Cal, hoping he would make some attempt to interact with the child, but he was crying again. Ethan couldn't really blame him. Cal's life had been turned completely upside down and his heart had been ripped out again, just when it was finally starting to heal.
He didn't think he'd ever forget the pain and despair in Cal's voice when he'd phoned to tell Ethan that Taylor had gone.
Ethan checked the baby's nappy with a silent prayer that this inevitability could be put off for a little bit longer. He didn't know if Cal had changed any nappies when he'd been absent. Perhaps Taylor had done it. But now clearly wasn't the time to mention Taylor's name. Ethan held the baby more securely in one arm and gave Cal's arm a rub. "Cal, do you think you could check and see if there's any milk formula? She might be hungry."
Cal made no signs of hearing at first. He just looked despairingly at Ethan, more tears rolling down his cheeks. Ethan considered putting the baby into Cal's arms and going to look himself, but to his relief, Cal wiped his sleeve across his nose and climbed off the bed.
"That's right," said Ethan as Cal knelt in front of the baby carrier. Then he realised he might have sounded patronising. "I mean, thanks, Cal."
Cal climbed back onto the bed holding an opened packet of baby tissues, a baby bottle and a white plastic bottle with Cow & Gate written on it. Ethan couldn't help thinking that he knew who the cow was, but he decided not to say it out loud.
"Thanks," said Ethan gratefully, but as Cal held out the two bottles to him, he was filled with panic. "Are there instructions?"
Cal looked blankly at him.
"Never mind." Ethan laid the baby gently on his lap and took both bottles from Cal. He looked at the bottle and saw with relief that there were some instructions on the back. He read them as quickly as he could, mindful of the baby's distress. Ethan frowned slightly at the mention of sterilising but decided there wasn't much he could do about that now. He shook the bottle of milk and removed the tops from both bottles. Carefully, he poured some milk into the baby's bottle. Once he'd put the teat on, he offered bottle and baby to Cal. "Would you like to do it?"
Cal shook his head slightly and started crying again.
"You do know you will have to help, Cal?" said Ethan, his voice serious. "But it doesn't have to be now." It would make things a bit easier if it was now, but Cal was in a state of shock about the baby and devastated about losing Taylor again. Ethan hadn't forgotten how shocked and broken he'd felt after losing Honey. He knew how much a broken heart could hurt.
But Ethan was determined that Cal would face up to his responsibilities and not make Ethan do everything. Ethan had continued to work despite his broken heart. Cal had to care for his baby despite his broken heart - and probably work as well, but that was another question that would have to wait until Cal was calmer.
Ethan settled the baby in his arm and held the bottle to her lips. "Come on, Flibbertigibbet. Come on. Lovely, delicious milk!"
The baby didn't seem to agree and carried on screaming. Ethan kept on trying to coax her to drink, trying not to feel sad at the complete lack of teasing and laughter from Cal, who would normally have been loving a moment like this. Finally, his niece calmed down a bit and deigned to put her lips around the teat and began to suck.
Ethan turned to give Cal a triumphant smile, but the bottle jerked out of his hand and sprayed Ethan in the face.
Cal gave a little sob that probably was partly a laugh and handed Ethan a tissue. Ethan laughed too as he wiped his face and guided the bottle back into the baby's mouth. It astonished him that such a tiny baby was able to pull the bottle out of his hand by pure suction power. He'd seen a few babies in the ED – he'd even assisted with deliveries – but holding his own baby (well, Cal's baby… well, possibly Cal's baby) was different and incredible and miraculous and beyond anything he'd ever experienced. Ethan moved his head closer so he could see her better and discovered that the blurriness was partly caused by tears.
Cal shuffled closer to the baby. Slowly, he reached out a hand and touched the baby's cheek with his finger.
This surprised her and it was Cal's face that got squirted with milk this time, but Cal almost smiled as he wiped away a mixture of milk and tears.
"Why don't you try?" said Ethan gently.
Cal looked scared, but he didn't object as Ethan placed the baby in his arms.
"Okay?" said Ethan, and Cal nodded uncertainly. He put Cal's hand around the bottle and kept one of his own hands over Cal's. "You'll have to hold on tightly. You've seen how strong she is!"
"I know," said Cal. "I've done it before."
Ethan nodded and released his hold on Cal's hand. He watched as Cal supported the baby's head with one arm and held the bottle firmly with the other, realising Cal's earlier reluctance had been entirely due to his emotions. Ethan was so relieved. Although Cal had been showing interest in the baby when he'd left him and Taylor, he'd barely glanced at it since Ethan had arrived in response to his phone call.
Cal was crying again as he looked down at the baby. "She's so beautiful."
Ethan slipped his arm around Cal and looked at the baby too. "She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." His voice took on a cooing quality. "Aren't you, Flibbertigibbet?" His voice returned to normal. "And we're going to look after her and everything's going to be okay."
Cal nodded and relaxed slightly into Ethan's embrace, his eyes fixed on the baby.
The baby stopped feeding. "Is she all right?" said Cal anxiously.
"She's probably just had enough for now," said Ethan. "Have you had enough, Flibbertigibbet? That's fine. I'm sure Daddy will give you some more later."
Cal seemed satisfied with that. He put the bottle down and stroked the baby's face. She cooed and gurgled and made little grunting sounds. Cal laughed a little bit and touched the end of her nose.
Ethan gave his brother and niece a few minutes to bond, before coming to the unwelcome conclusion that he really needed to take advantage of Cal's relative calm and make a few plans for their future.
