I APOLAGIZE FOR ALL THE MISSPELLED WORDS AND RANDOM LETTERS IN THE MIDDLE OF SENTENCES. IM NOT USING MY COMPUTER TO WRITE THIS. THIS LAPTOP IS ANCIENT AND THE TRACKPAD IS GLITCHY AND CLICKS SOME TIMES FOR NO REASON
So I plan to write a giant fanfiction over the summer. But, I have a problem. I need to show my plan to someone. However, my writing is very private. I really don't want anyone I know to see this until I change the names and publish the book. Right, the plan. So I've always wanted to write a book and I love the percy jackson series so thats a good place to start for inspiration. So what I'm going to do is write the fanfiction, upload it and get feedback, but before I can get started i want to see if what i have is any good. I've noticed a lot of percy jackson highschool fanfictions are plotless. they either show percy as perfect which is fun but doesn't make a very compelling story, or are die after about six chapters because there is not really conflict and the entire thing is just fan service. our mission is to make a fully fleshed out story. the first finished coherent high school percy jackson fan fiction.
So what im asking for here is basically this. go through, read the plot, tell me what you think. i don't get many reviews so if you do say something i'll definitely consider it.
The three main things i need you to comment on are
IDEAS FOR THE PLOT such as new things we could add to the story, a story boils done to the three act structure. so each event will play into its act in some way. for example. the first act has to set up percy as a poor lower class under dog we can all cheer for when things go his way by the middle of the first act. the end of the first act introduces the conflict (percy meeting annabeth). then the second act has to crush percy. everything most go wrong (percy gets kicked off the swim team, calypso leaves him, he loses his job). the third act has to be inspirational. percys dad shows up (need help on how and why). percys dad tries to catch up on being his father. we need a character ark where annabeth and rachael start to feel bad for percy and regret their actions so when they tell calypso the truth it isn't out of nowhere.
SCENARIOS YOU WANT TO SEE. I'm not below fan service. if you want percy to sing karaoke at a school talent show with annabeth (as long as you pitch the idea in a way that makes sense to the plot) i'll do it.
CHARACTER YOU WANT TO SEE. I'll add almost any character from any universe if you want. ALSO I YOU HELP WITH THIS PROJECT I'LL GIVE YOU A CAMEO WITH WHATEVER NAME YOU CHOOSE.
for example
Flamingnightrider:
could you give the doctor a cameo as a physics teacher on a date with me (Natalie)
that comment would end up looking like this.
Me and Annabeth walked into the Cafe and were immediately hit with the scent of strong black coffee and assorted pastries. The duo wandered over to the counter, looking at all the expensive decorations, and ordered. They sat down and waited for their food when Annabeth spotted someone she knew.
"Doctor Smith?"
"Annabeth! What a lovely suprise!" A tell slender man with brown messy hair strutted over to their table. He wore a fashionable blue suit with a long overcoat. With him was a young blond girl holding a crossaint in one hand and a cup of apple cider in the other. "Annabeth! It's been so long!" She put the crossaint in her mouth and extended her hand to Percy.
"Hi, I'm Natalie."
"Percy."
Natalie took the crossaint out of her mouth.
"Pleased to meet you Percy."
"So what are you two doing in New York?" Annabeth asked.
"Oh, you know, the usual. Campus appearances, talks and the rif raf." The Doctor answer nonchalantly.
Something like that. Except it would be way more coherent and well written. i need a description of your character and how you want to be portrayed.
PLOT
(so the plot goes like so. percy wants to try out for the swim team. he trains and trains for a week straight. then in history he and rachael are assigned to be partners on a project. percy falls for her instantly. while they work on their project in the library percy asks rachael out. he makes the swim team and goes out with rachael, he has a good freshman year. school comes and his mother signs him up for an exclusive summer camp for athletes. at camp half blood he meets annabeth. they hang out a lot and on the last day of camp they exchange contact info and a kiss. percy feels terrible for cheating on rachael but begins to wonder if the two are right for eachother. percy gets a job at a coffee shop, then a new freshman shows up at school and beats percy in a race. then annabeth shows up at percys school and kisses him infront of rachael. they find out about eachother and racheal breaks up with percy and annabeth wont speak to him. then percy meets calypso. she is the owners daughter of the coffee shop percy works at. percy gets back into swimming and wins a swim meet. during the swim meet he asks calypso out to prom. a scout for college talks to percy about a scholarship if he keeps up his grades and swim records. annabeth, piper and rachael team up to get revenge on percy for cheating on them by breaking up him and calypso. percy gets drunk at a party and the evil trio take advantage of this. they take pictures of percy drinking and "sleeping with" piper. they post the pictures anonymously on facebook and percy is kicked off the swim team. calypso breaks up with him. he loses his job and the scholarship deal is denied. he almost fails all his classes and contiplats suicide. then his long lost father comes back during the summer. he helps percy pass his classes, learn how to drive and gets him into an exclusive swim club. percys grades start to go back up. rachael and annabeth feel bad for what they did and they tell calypso what they did. percy gets back with calypso. percy takes calypso to prom senior year. then they break up for college *at this point we ask the readers to pick annabeth, racheal or calypso to end up with* percy is at a cafe in a small town when he sees (pick) they strike up a conversation and arrange to meet again. they meet and realize they live a block away from eachother. they hangout a lot and have cook outs when percy asks if (pick) will come with him to his match at the olympics. they do there and percy wins. on the podium for the gold medal he asks (pick) to marry him. they settle down in north carolina and have three kids, two boys and a girl. AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER (what the heck did i just write. this took me two hours...)
EXTREMELY ROUGH DRAFT
Percy Jackson was an all round average kid. He got average grades. He played average video games and he hung out with average people. As far as Percy was concerned he was all round average. But there was one thing that he was good at. Swimming, the one thing that brought him true joy. On days when he just didn't feel like coming home to Gabe, his abusive step father, he would just stay at school and swim laps. It was oddly relaxing despite the vigurous workout it gave him.
On this particular day Percy had just finished his laps, toweled off and changed. He headed down the winding hallways of the massive Hartmen academy when he spotted a poster on the wall. The poster read as follows.
"Hartmen Hounds Swim Team Try Outs This Thursday at Three-thirty. Towels provided, swimsuits not."
Percy stared at the poster before taking it off the wall, folding it up and putting it in his pocket.
"What do you think you're gonna do with that Jackson."
Percy whirled around to see Luke and his crew. Frank, Fletcher, Toby, and Caleb. They where fresh off the turf and they smelled like it. The aroma hit Percy like a freight train. He wrinkled his nose and his eyes started to water.
"Nothing." Percy said, his voice craking involentarily. He coughed to clear his throat.
"A shrimp like you doesn't have a chance. Give it up loser. You'll never amount to anything." Luke sneered.
Percy's blood boiled. Any other day he would have just walked away but this was his passion and it hurt to hear someone stomp all over it.
"You know what Luke!" Percy snapped. He grabbed the collar of Lukes shirt. "I've had it up to here with your-"
"Mr. Jaclson! Unhand h"im and come with me this instant young man!"
It was Ms. Dobbes. Of course, she hated him and he couldn't tell why. He was always quiet. Sure he never got very good grades in her class and never really tried but that's not really an excuse for sending him to the principals office for minor offenses.
Percy let go of Lukes now very stretched out collar and stepped back.
"Have a good detention Jackson." Luke smirked as Percy followed Ms. Dobbes to her classroom.
She sat down behind her desk as Percy entered the room and stood infront of the desk, ready for a lecture.
"Mr. Jackson."
"Yes, Ms. Dobbes."
"You understand that you can be expelled for that type of behavior."
"Yes."
"We both know how this is going to end so I'll skip the formalities. You have detention for the rest of the month. Please have a seat."
Percy sat in the far corner of the room and tried to work on his English paper, key word is tried. After the letters from his notes started floating around his head and started chanting ,read me, he gave up and started on his history homework.
