AN: I don't know where all this is coming from, I only know I loved the show and these two were my favourite. Please read and review.
Intersection
"Every doorway, every intersection, has a story."
Katherine Dunn
~x-X-x~
Chapter 1: One Look
The thrill. That was why I did it. That is why I still do it, knowing that it's wrong. Knowing that at any minute I could fall down the thousand steps of hell and be plunged into a cell, the key stored away for god knows how long. And yet, I cannot convince myself to stop. Who would want to? Who, in their right damn mind, would stop the one thing that made them feel so good? So powerful? So in control?
He threw the papers down on my desk and sat on the edge, a confused look on his face as he stared down at me. Usually he would never notice me, despite the fact that my twenty-one years of youth sat perfectly in his ideal female age bracket. It was probably the reason why my former supervisor, Victoria, had left. So here Jake Abassi sat – my boss – on the edge of my desk waiting for me to tell him how I had managed to secure one million pounds of profit for our hedge fund.
"Miss Stonem," he smiled then, oozing obvious charm. Something tingled inside me but I squashed it, not prepared to give away all my cards. I had learned a long time ago to keep my heart as guarded as Buckingham Palace. "How did you know?"
I smiled at him then, a seductive moved I had managed to excel at since the age of fourteen when my brother's friends would pop around. An image of Chris parading through my parent's front door floated across my mind and I closed my eyes for a second, his image changing into that of Freddie.
All the ones we had somehow lost along the way.
No, not today. He would not cross my mind today.
"I made a call," I replied, looking up at him with my chocolate eyes and smiling once more. He was curious about me, that much was obvious. As he bit down on his lower lip in contemplation, I felt like I could literally hear his brain ticking over as he processed my answer. I dared not move in my seat, not wanting to show any sign of weakness. I silently cursed myself for wearing the blue and beige dress Naomi had thrown at me that morning.
"Well," Jake announced, sliding off my desk and standing upright over me. Leaning over, his hands rested on the arms of my office chair, slightly pulling me in so that there was little more than thirty centimeters between us. He was so close I could smell his cologne.
"It was a good call."
He lingered for a moment and looked in my eyes, daring me to give something away. I didn't, choosing to smile innocently instead whilst titling my head to the side. My brain whirled with all the ways I could make this job a new start in my life. With Victoria now gone, I could really show this company – this man – what I was made of.
I just had to get him to notice me.
"See you tomorrow then, Miss Stonem," Jake smiled, sliding off my chair and heading for the door. He pulled the glass closed behind him and walked back towards his office, but not before turning around and sending me one last ominous and flirty look.
Mission accomplished.
The phone erupted to life beside me, stirring me from my thoughts and bringing me back to reality. Reaching out for the phone, I pulled the cold receiver to my ear and looked out at the dreary evening that was falling around the city outside.
"Effy Stonem," I spoke officially, my voice a velvety-smooth concoction of business and charm. "How may I help you?"
"Have dinner with me," came the nonchalant reply, the masculine voice on the end of the receiver so painfully obvious it threatened to bring a smile to my lips. I looked up from my desk, a pair of dark eyes landing on me as Jake smiled from his own private office. He was leaning back in his chair and swinging gently from side-to-side, his confidence more than obvious.
And somewhat appealing, if I were to be honest with myself.
"Can't," I replied casually, as if the very suggestion was no more than a blip on my radar. "I have plans."
"Cancel them," he demanded, although his voice was nothing more than that of a purring pussycat. "Have dinner with me."
I leaned back into the comfort of my own, less expensive office chair and sighed into the receiver, unsure what to do. The truth was, I did have plans and they were the only thing that allowed me to keep my sanity in the world I lived it. Somewhere along the way I had begun to lose pieces of myself and I never wanted to return to that place. The darkness, as I liked to call it, could kiss my arse. I wasn't going to let it back in and wreak havoc in my already fragile mind. So although he was more than enticing, he wasn't worth more than my sanity.
That was the most precious thing in the world to me and tonight was my night.
"Thank you for the offer, Mr Abassi," I replied, standing to my feet and leaning over my desk. I could feel the soft tendrils of my loose chocolate curls dancing over my shoulders and I instinctively knew I was looking fabulous. Somehow, this one afternoon had managed to ignite my passionate side that had long since lain dormant. "But with respect, I must decline. Perhaps another time."
Jake raised his eyebrows in surprise, clearly not used to being reject and to be honest, he gave himself away to me in that very moment. I knew, right then and there, that he was intrigued by me and I felt a rush course through my entire body. It was a dangerous game, flirting with the boss, but I had always loved games. They were the glue that held me together before the darkness came.
Before Freddie.
"Well I'm afraid the offer may no longer be there," Jake replied, sighing into the receiver as he leaned over his desk and sent me a wayward, charismatic smile. "But you have yourself a good night, Miss Stonem."
He hung up the phone then, turning his gaze away from me and upon whatever was scrawled over the pages that lay neatly stacked on his expensive, mahogany desk. I smiled in his direction although he wasn't looking at me and reached for my bag, sliding it over my thin, creamy shoulders and making my way out of my cubicle. My heels made no sound as they traipsed across the smooth office carpet and I smiled when I instinctively felt his gaze on me as I strode past his office. As I made my way to the elevator I stopped, biting my lower lip in contemplation as I turned on my heel. He looked up in surprise when I leaned against the doorframe of his office, my head tilted to the side as I smiled at him.
"I think we both know the offer will still be there."
I smiled as he grinned at me, nodding his head in acceptance as I turned on my heels and made my way back towards the elevator, my skin itching to get out of the dreary work clothes and into something infinitely more comfortable.
Infinitely, more Effy Stonem.
x~X~x
The night air was cool and crisp and it felt like heaven on my burning skin. I could hear the music of the club before I had even turned the corner and my heart skipped a beat from the sound. Sweaty bodies glistened in the florescent light of the street lamps as they exited the side of the building, laughing and stumbling in drunken stupor. I smiled at the sight of them, feeling like I had come home to my family. My people.
My irrevocably dented and broken little group of misfits and cretins; every bit as broken and damaged as me.
Standing on the edge of the crowd I raised my head and smiled at Ernie, the burly bouncer nodding his head as he saw me approach.
"Another late night then, Effy?"
"Another early morning," I replied, reaching into my clutch and pulling out a cigarette. He leaned forward and lit it for me, cupping his hands around the flame as if to shield it from the frosty night. He stared at my skin-tight black dress, the fabric sitting perfectly enough to leave little to the imagination.
"All that effort and yet you walk out of here alone every night," Ernie stated, shaking his head as if he didn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. "Do the London lads not do it for you or somfing?"
I smiled at the way his accent curled around his words, pulling back from his grip and allowing the smoke to fill my lungs. Yet another bad habit I couldn't break. I leaned up towards the glistening night sky and blew the white dust into the air, watching it ebb and flow around the stars.
"Dancing does it for me, Erns," I replied, pulling the cigarette to my mouth once more and inhaling. I blew this one out quickly, eager to get inside as the chill of the night air kissed my skin. "And vodka."
"Then by all means, love," he announced, moving to the side and pulling at the chord that blocked the entrance. "Don't let me stop ya."
I smiled appreciatively and made my way inside, the darkness enveloping me in its hold. I immediately felt the rush of familiar warmth of lights, smoke and booze-fueled bodies and the calmness invaded my entire being. Stepping forward, the red strobe light flashed across the sweaty bodies of the dancing crowd and I knew I was home. I stepped between their swaying hips and floating arms and found myself a spot on the dance floor, my eyes closing as the music enveloped me and influenced my body in a way no drug ever could. The floor felt sticky beneath my feet as my head tilted back, my flowing locks dusting my bare back with their soft tendrils. I closed my eyes and breathed it all in, the music picking up in beat and forcing my body to move.
This was my euphoria. This was my escape.
A hand brushed past me and I felt it touch my skin, a smile forming on my lips as I opened my eyes and gazed at the hand that as trying to wrap itself around my waist. He leaned in then, his face falling gently into my hair as I stared blankly ahead. I stepped out of the hold and swayed onwards, my own reverie the only thing that was on my mind in this particular moment. I gazed out over the crowd as the red lights soaked them in momentary flashes of luminance and I closed my eyes once more, feeling the calmness sink into my very being.
The light flashed over my eyes and I opened them again, my eyes landing on his body before I met his gaze. My heart stopped when I saw him, shirtless and sweaty and wrapped up in the arms of a shorter brunette as they attempted to dance to the beat of the club music. I stayed completely still as he turned, almost as if in slow motion, the girl stumbling with obvious drunkenness. His eyes locked onto me and he slowed down his swaying, the girl before him leaning into his shoulder as he looked out at me.
I could almost imagine what he was thinking. It was probably something similar to what was raging through my mind in that moment.
The crowd parted slightly and he came into full view, every bit as built and chiseled as I remembered. And there was a lot to remember. The sex, the fighting, the end. James Cook was an integral part of my life that had suddenly evaporated into thin air the moment we had both lost Freddie.
He stepped away from the girl trying desperately to dance with him then and moved towards me, my own instinct kicking in as I took a step back. He stopped, unsure of himself as we continued to gaze at each other. Flickers of florescent green splashed across his face and he opened his mouth, the word silently clear as the music drowned it out.
"Effs?"
I knew what it would have sounded like, the word burned into my memory. A lump formed in my throat and I panicked, feeling my mind race with a thousand thoughts all at once, I reached up and clasped at the side of my head, his eyes instantly filled with concern as he stepped forward again.
No. I wasn't going to do this. Not tonight.
I turned and ran, darting out through the bodies and pushing my way through the thickness that threatened to overcome me. My heart raced and ached at the same time, the rush of adrenalin coursing through my veins and urging me forward. I broke out into the night as the cool air rushed over me, a reprieve from the heavy, thick heat that threatened to overcome me within the club. Ernie looked at my in concern and then turned his gaze behind me as the doors sprang open again, Cook standing shirtless and leaning over as he tried desperately to get some air into his lungs.
"You always did like me chasing after you, Princess."
I turned and looked down at him, a small smile coming to his lips as he turned and looked up at me, his hands resting on his knees. I said nothing, my mind drawing a blank, unable to produce a coherent sentence. He stood up and looked at me, his eyes darting from me to the burly bodyguard that stood between us.
"This guy upsetting ya, Effy?"
Cook looked at me and waited for my reply, my hair dancing on my shoulders as I shook my head no. Ernie raised his hands and returned to his front door position, Cook stepping forward again as I raised my right hand to halt his advance.
"Come on, Princess," Cook replied, sniffing slightly as the cold chill of the night air touched his glistening skin. "You and I were always-"
"Fucked up?" I finished his sentence for him, an anger building within me as I looked at him. The memory of our last night together infiltrated my mind then, the dancing and singing and laughter in Freddie's back room suddenly rushing to the forefront of my mind. I desperately tried to push it back, unwilling to allow myself to feel the emotions that threatened to destroy me that night and every day after.
"Yeah," Cook acknowledge my reply, nodding his head as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He stuck one into his mouth and held the packet out to me, pulling it back towards him as I shook my head. The flame illuminated his face as he lit the stick hanging from his mouth, inhaling the smoke and blowing it out through the side of his mouth.
"I 'spose that's one way of describing us."
"That's the only way," I growled at him, pursing my lips together as he looked at me. He stayed silent then, pulling drag after drag from his cigarette until I could handle the silence no more. I shook my head angrily, titling my head to the side as I looked upon him with contempt.
"You left us."
"I had my reasons," he replied, turning colder than I had ever seen him turn before. Cook was disturbed and he had many reasons to hate the world considering everything he had been through, but he had always been a fighter. He had never given a fuck about anyone or anything before and I had expected no less of him when he had run away. Avoiding his jail term was pretty much a given. He hated authority and he hated to lose.
Even if it meant skipping his best friend's service.
"You left us," I said again, this time with more feeling behind it. "You gave up on us and you abandoned him when he needed you."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Cook replied, an anger rising in his voice as he spoke to me. It startled me a little but I held my ground, the anger within me refusing to allow me to back down. "You don't know nufin' about what I've been through."
"Did you know he didn't come home?" I asked him, pleading with him for some kind of answer. "He left me and then you left and then-"
"I never left you, darlin'" Cook scoffed then, throwing his cigarette to the ground and stamping on it with his feet. "I avenged him."
The door sprung open behind him the and I gazed up to see the brunette that had danced with him in the club, the girl reaching out and sliding underneath his grip as Cook looked at me. Instinctively she felt the tension between us and looked at me curiously, her eyes darting between us as we looked at each other.
"Hey, you comin' back inside?"
I looked at him as he leaned down and kissed the top of her forehead, his eyes never leaving me. For a moment I could remember what it was like to be in that embrace, to feel as if nothing in the world would harm me. Now, all that was left was the memory and the pain of the person we had both lost.
"He is," I answered for him, turning on my heel and holding out my hand for the nearest cab to collect me. It came within seconds and I leaned into the window, announcing my address and sliding into the back seat. I closed the door behind me, eyes darting out at connecting with Cook's once more before he turned and pulled the brunette back into the club, the door swinging closed behind him.
x~X~x
AN: Please review, they mean the world to me. I never liked the way Skins Fire and Rise ended and so here I am trying to rectify the situation in my head. PLEASE let me know what you think xo
