Shane's point of view

Tomorrow will be the first anniversary of Claire's parent's death and are almost wedding .Claire consumed still, but when they first died, Claire was consumed by guilt, which then turned into anger.

All though she has moved and got on with life, for the triplets and myself, every time I look at her I can see the emptiness in her eyes .I have seen it so many times now it makes me sad for her, I do not know what to do. So tonight, I am going to see if, she will open up to me and talk to me because I feel like, that I am losing her slowly, and I need for Claire to survive, our children need her to survive.

Just as we had put our beautiful kids down for the night, I take her hand in mine and holding on tight, I lead her downstairs to the living room in our house.

"Here sweetheart sit down we need to talk, as I am really worried about you," I said as I sat down next to her and taking my big hand I placed it on her face. Claire then puts her hand over mine and I put as much love into my stare, as I cannot help but stare into that beautiful diamond like eyes.

"What about, have I done something wrong Shane "she asked me I could feel the sadness in her voice. "Claire sweetheart you could never do anything wrong in my eyes "I said trying not to worry her and then I carried on speaking".

"Well tomorrow it will be one year since your parents died, and I just wanted to ask you how you are feeling," I said. I was still holding on to her small fragile hand and I could see the tears starting to appear in her eyes. "Please talk to me Claire ,I know that you are struggling still ,with your grief and that you will properly be dealing with this for the rest of your life" I said which she fell into my embrace.

"I am just worried about you Claire, I feel that you are disappearing," I said then she clears her throat so that she can talk.

"I know that you are worried ,about me Shane ,but I do nowhere to begin " she said as she sat up and turned to face me so that our eyes are meeting once again .Whilst never taking my eyes away from hers she sucked in a deep breath and began to pour her heart out to me .

"When mom and dad died, I felt as if I had died too, and I feel like it is my fault that they died Shane .I feel that they are dead because of me Shane," she said. That is when she started sobbing her heart out, that is when I wrapped her in my arms, and I just held her, as I wanted my beautiful girl to feel safe.

I need for her to feel protected and that when Claire is with me, it's ok to be vulnerable in front of me." It is ok sweetheart it is natural to feel like that ,I know that I did when Alyssa and my mom died and this is not your fault ,you couldn't help what happened , you are such a good person who has such a kind heart ." I said to her. She then pulled away from my arms and turned around to face me once more.

"How did you feel when Alyssa died in the fire ,and how did you cope after finding your mom , I just want to emphasise how you were feeling because you never have really talked about it ,and it would really help me to understand Shane " she asked me with curiosity in her voice . "Ok If it will help you sweetheart "I said. I then swallowed a lump in my throat; she looked at me then nodded.

I then went on to tell her about the day I thought my life was going to end. "The day of the fire when I couldn't get Alyssa out, I felt like it should have been me that died, I was really angry I felt like I had let her down, and that I had let everyone down, I was her big brother Claire and she needed me." I said as a single tear drop fell down my cheek .Claire reached out for my hand and squeezed it tightly then that is when I continued on to tell her about my mom .

"Within months of Alyssa's death, I could see my mom slowly dying .The light had gone from her eyes and it broke my heart to watch. I did feel, like that, I was responsible for my sister's death. One day at the motel, the day my mom died. Anger consumed me and it raged like fire "I said. Observing my Claire closely, I could see from Claire s eyes that she was relating to me and that we now could share each other's pain.

"Thank you Shane, I now understand that is ok to be vulnerable and scared, and I am sorry that I having been pushing you away " she said. Claire then sits on my lap ,Sitting down she kisses me with such passion and hunger .Claire still needed me and kissing my girl back was amazing .

Claire was sending shivers down my spine, Claire always made me feel whole and complete .Then standing ,placing her in my arms and I gave Claire her a kiss that was so sweet and slow .it made my heart light in pure sweet joy.

I then carried her upstairs to our bed where we made love for the first time in ages.

I have my beautiful Claire back and as we continue to make love, until the early hours of the morning suddenly our future as a family seems very much within my reach once again