A Very Potter Christmas
Merry Christmas fanfic readers, for your present I give to you a Christmas Crackfic. In a bit of a slump right now so that's about all I can write. Enjoy.
I don't own Harry Potter or anything, now beat it or read it.
Harry Potter leapt joyfully out of bed on Christmas morning and bounded into the common room running smack into Draco. "What are you doing here?" Harry exclaimed. Draco looked at him incredulously.
"Don't you remember, you made me and honorary Gryffindor last night." Harry flashed back to all of them drunk on hoho's gleefully giving Draco all of the Gryffindor passwords while singing Poker Face around the fire.
"Oh yeah…" Harry giggled madly for no apparent reason. Suddenly all the Gryffindor's ran into the common room, not even noticing the fact that Draco was randomly there.
"Presents!" Hermione screamed grabbing her bright yellow and orange Christmas rake and pulling all the presents in sight towards her.
"Restrain her?" Harry asked Fred and George.
"Gladly." They said together dragging her off into some dark cave behind the Gryffindor banister. They came back with boxes of hoho's. Everyone stared.
"I thought we ran out." Harry said. Ron shrugged.
"Had to hide all the hoho's from McGonagall, you know how she can eat a couple boxes in one sitting, guess we forgot some of them." Harry sniffed them.
"Hey! I think these are expired…"
"Well, pass them out!" Neville exclaimed, grabbing some and throwing them around the room.
Suddenly Merlin burst in the room and said, "Hi," in a southern accent before disappearing in a shower of sparks. Draco stared.
"Does he do that often?"
Harry nodded, "Yep, all the time. Hey Merlin, have a hoho!" He yelled throwing one. A random portal appeared and the package was sucked away.
Finally everyone settled around the table getting ready to unwrap gifts when Dumbledore interrupted.
"HO HO HO!" He shouted, dressed up in a Santa costume.
"Did someone say 'Hoho's'" Ron asked excitedly, returning from the bathroom. Harry stuffed five wrapped ones in his mouth. Ron said something like thanks and gobbled them all down.
"I want to thank Draco, who is a spy for the light side, for getting that great poster of Voldemort doing the disco with local muggle senior's permanently stuck to the Great Hall wall, it's the best Christmas present Hogwarts has ever received. Draco took a bow.
"And that's not all!" He said, "For all of your Christmas presents I supply you with a lifetime supply of wallet size pictures of Voldemort in random dancing poses. I even got them signed." He winked. Everybody screamed excitedly and ripped open Draco's huge box of pictures grabbing as many as possible.
"Oh and Dumbledore, here's your present from Gryffindor, we all pitched in." Neville said handing Dumbledore a present. Opening it he gasped.
"Is this a life-size action figure of Voldemort that says 'I will KIIIIIIIIIIIIILL you, you old fool!' when you stick its wand up its nose? I've always wanted one!" He exclaimed gleefully disappearing in a shower of sparks to join Merlin.
McGonagall's head stuck out of a random portal that appeared. "Who wants to go to the party at Merlin's place? The price is five hoho's each!"
"Fair enough." Everyone said paying her and hopping into the portal.
"Please keep all hands, feet, and extra limbs inside the portal at all times. Do not forget to leave all the extra hoho's you have in the portal and have a great ride." McGonnogall said cheerfully, closing the portal and disappearing.
Finally Snape burst into the common room. "I'm here!" He exclaimed putting on his Christmas hat. "Where's the portal?" Suddenly he froze and groaned. All that was still around was a sign that said, Next portal, two years.
