A/N: I wanted to do something charcter-devlepy with Lucas, without making him suicidal or self mutilation-like. So instead he's a-gonna be a party animal! Woo! This will still get serious-ish in the later chapters though, but for now Lucas just wants to have some fun.
~*~
"I give up." The idea had never occurred to him, but after this first time of saying it, Lucas repeated it with enthusiasm. "I fucking give up." With that he exited his email program. Another empty mailbox – the last place he'd looked for any sign of love or recognition from his parents on his birthday. But for once there were no tears to brush away. For once there was no sharp pain in his chest at being unloved. All that filled Lucas now was emptiness.
He looked at a picture of his dad that was tacked to a tag board on the cold metal walls of his room on the Sea Quest. Tearing it off, he got out a lighter from the clutter on his desk and started to talk to the picture as if it could hear him.
"I've tried all my life to be perfect, tried to be something you could love." He rolled his thumb across the lighter and held the flame to the picture. "I never messed up for you. I never got below an A for you." He watched the flames lick across the picture hungrily, watched it devour his dad. "I was perfect for you so you would love me, and it didn't work. So I give up. Fuck you." The picture was reduced to ashes, and Lucas pushed back his chair aggressively and strode out of his room with a purpose. He had let it come to surface that his father didn't actually love him. He was finally accepting it. He thought there was pain in the back of his mind at this acceptance but pushed it down until all he felt was emptiness. His father had broken his heart; now it was time to break his father's rules.
"Hey Lucas, where y'goin'?" Asked Ben as Lucas brushed by him.
"I'm going to find some fun." Lucas turned before Ben could ask to join in and walked away. This shore leave he wasn't going to give a damn about anything. He had bottled himself up to stay out of trouble, isolated himself from other kids to keep from disappointing his father. If being perfect hadn't worked then nothing would; so why even try?
It wasn't long before Lucas had found other teens once he had gotten away from the Sea Quest. It was spring break; parties would be everywhere. Walking around a residential area, Lucas found a house with loads of cars around it. He walked up to it, able to hear the music from the driveway. It was loud and angry, and Lucas knew this is where he wanted to be.
The door was unlocked, and Lucas opened the door to a whole new world. The air was a cloud of smoke, he could smell cigarettes, weed, and alcohol. People's bodies were packed everywhere, some dancing, some making out, a couple of guys were rolling on the ground trying to punch each other. And between the angry guitar riffs he could hear a muffled roar of voices. For a second he panicked and almost ran away – but then he let the noises and the smells and the wild feeling drown out everything else – emotion, sense, care, - and walked in.
A girl almost as tall as him grabbed his arm and spun him towards her. "Hey kid, who the hell are you?" Her words were slurred and she was rocking from side to side a little.
"I just moved here. Some kid said I could come." He had to shout this twice before she heard what he said.
"In that case," She shouted back, "Have a drink and knock yourself out. If you want something stronger just see A.J." She pointed to dark eyed, dark haired youth exhaling a cloud of smoke in a corner with a few others doing the same. "He's too stoned to mind giving anything away right now." She smiled almost fondly, then raised her voice as a few girls passed her, directing her comment at them as much as at him. "And if you're in the mood, these slut's do just about anything for five bucks."
"Oh, shut up Stephanie." They said, but they were laughing drunkenly and Lucas doubted if any of them would really not do just what the hostess had said.
"Thanks." Lucas mouthed to her, and she nodded, raising a beer to him, and then wandered off.
Grabbing a beer himself, Lucas wandered around while sipping at it. He didn't particularly like the taste, but seemed to mind it less after each swallow. He found a tray of brownies and had eaten two before he realized what was probably in them. He laughed at how stupid he had been, and a few people standing near him joined him in laughing. For a while the four of them stood around laughing until they sighed and stopped, almost in unison. Then they watched as someone fell down the steps and they started laughing again.
"Dude, those brownies, are the best damn brownies, that I haven't ever not eaten." Lucas said, waving his finger in the air to illustrate his point.
They all nodded in appreciation of the brownies.
A short, busty blonde walked near and one of the four reached out and snaked his arm around her waist. "Hey Sandy. I hear Steph's parent's bed is really firm. I know how you like things firm."
Sandy rolled her eyes and slipped out of his arm. "It was over a goddamn month ago you creep. And maybe it's because I like things firm that I broke it off."
Everyone but her ex boyfriend seemed to find this hilarious, and Sandy smiled at his blush.
"Besides," She said, her voice sultry as she floated closer to Lucas. "I told you. I prefer blondes." She stared up into his blue eyes, and Lucas swallowed. A second later his eyes bulged out as she reached for his groin and squeezed him. "See? He's nice and firm, and he's blond!" She winked at him, then walked away laughing.
"Woah." Lucas breathed. "The people never do that where I come from." No one could stop laughing for five minutes straight.
