Hi everyone!
Shiny new Remus-centric ficlet anyone? Well here you go. I've tried my best to keep everything as canon as possible; but really it boils to how I like to think Remus came to befriend the Marauders because a friendship like the one they have can't just have happened over night =) I say 'ficlet' meaning that this is only 7 chapters long; one chapter for each year.
Please enjoy!
Warning: Inconsistent chapter lengths
Chapter One
First Year: Lone Wolf
"Sometimes you pick your friends, sometimes they pick you."
Remus Lupin had no intention of making any friends when he went to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but it seemed that James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew just could not leave him alone ever since that first day on the train. All Remus wanted to do was get through the last of his schooling years with as little trouble as possible and go on to live a happy, inconspicuous life. A happy, inconspicuous life that did not include three lunatics for friends.
Amongst his peers, Remus knew this desire was an oddity. While his peers dreamt of a loud life, full of the glory and glamour of the wizarding world, Remus laid his head down to sleep each night and was comforted by dreams of a quiet, secluded life away from the rest of the world.
His parents were kind enough to understand him in this sense and had never felt the need to try to coax him from his self-imposed shell. Indeed, they went along with the whole idea, believing it better that he understand it now rather than realise the crushing reality later when the seeds of hope for a greater life had already been planted in his mind. That would have been a cruel joke, on a boy already destined to suffer.
Remus had climbed on the Hogwarts Express with these thoughts in mind and thus had gone out of his way trying to find the quietest cabin possible in which to spend the long journey to what would be his school for the next seven long years. There had been no empty cabins so Remus had been forced to search the train for one that was at least not as loud as the others. Feeling increasingly uncomfortable in the ruckus, his search had become more and more desperate as he'd moved further down the train until he'd finally found a cabin that seemed okay.
There was only one person in there already, a girl who looked about his age, with dark red hair tumbling down her back, sat by the window staring out it. She barely looked up when he knocked.
"Is that seat taken?" he asked bluntly, pointing to the seat farthest from her. He didn't smile shyly, or let himself seem friendly at all, and while he'd done it a thousand times before it still hurt him deep down. The girl turned to him; striking green eyes met his own. There were tear tracks down her cheeks, unshed ones still glassy in her eyes. Remus suddenly regretted his decision to choose this particular cabin.
The girl shook her head, sniffing back her tears and brushing her dark red hair back behind her ear, "I'm Lily Evans," she said, holding out her hand. Remus eyed it wearily, but didn't take it. Evans seemed hardly put off and retracted her hand.
"Remus Lupin," Remus felt obliged to reply, but made sure he said it in a way that he hoped she would take as conversation over. He hated being rude and unpleasant. But then again he hated a lot of things and none of them were about to change any time soon, no matter how hard he wished.
She sniffed again and gave him a small smile; Remus didn't return it. Looking down at her hands clutched in her lap she then lent down and pulled something from her bag.
She broke it in half and held some out to him, "Here," she offered, Remus just looked at her, "it's chocolate, it helps." Remus could have argued that he needed no help, but somehow, he just couldn't, so he quietly accepted the foodstuff and they lapsed into silence.
Remus almost wanted to talk to Evans further, but decided against it, knowing that if he let his mask slip just once it could well be over before it had even begun. Suppressing a sigh, Remus pulled out a book and flicked to the page he was up to, ready to submerge himself into another world where nothing real mattered and he could just forget everything. He had barely finished the page when the cabin door opened and a dark haired boy walked in. Remus observed him out of the corner of his eye, as he introduced himself as 'Sirius Black' noting the sense of elegance that seemed to hang around the boy as he sat himself down nearer to Remus than he would have liked.
Seconds later another boy came in, messy black hair sticking up at every possible angle and glasses slightly askew over hazel eyes, calling himself 'James Potter'. He moved to sit opposite Black, who was obviously the more friendly of the trio, Evans having turned back to stare out the window. They lapsed into loud, animated conversation and Remus did his best to ignore them as the train jolted into motion.
Maybe half an hour into the journey, the conversation which Remus had successfully managed to block out of his mind until then wormed its way into his ears. Since the train had started another boy had come into the cabin and begun to talk softly with Evans. It was obvious she was upset and he was trying to comfort her as best he could.
"But we're going!" the greasy haired boy exclaimed excitedly, "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!" Evans gave him a small smile and heartened by it he continued, "You'd better be in Slytherin,"
"Sytherin?" Remus looked up despite himself to where Potter sat, "Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" he asked bringing Black into the conversation.
"My whole family have been in Slytherin," Black replied without smiling.
"Blimey," Potter said in surprise, "and I thought you seemed alright!"
Now Black grinned, "Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"
Potter laughed pretending to wield a sword, "'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my Dad." The greasy haired boy gave a snort and Potter turned on him, "Got a problem with that?"
"No," the other boy replied snidely, "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy-"
"-Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" Black interrupted, bursting with pride at his quick wit. Potter gave a roar of laughter and Evans glared at them both.
"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment," she said rising and stalking from the cabin. Black and Potter laughed harder, mimicking her tone and trying to trip Severus as he pushed past.
"See ya Snivellus!" Potter called after them. They dissolved into laughter again and Remus discreetly tried to edge to closer to the window to get away from them. He didn't need people like them to take notice of him.
"So what about you?"
Dammit.
"Sorry?" Remus asked, his face taking on a mask of puzzlement so it appeared he'd been more absorbed in his book than what had just taken place.
"What house do you want to go to?" Potter clarified, sitting down from shutting the cabin door.
"Gryffindor or Ravenclaw." Remus said, allowing a touch of annoyance into his voice hoping that would be enough to deter them from trying to make any further conversation with him. He turned his attention back to his book.
"Why's that?" Black asked, stretching out his long arms and legs languidly. Remus looked up, letting irritation creep onto his face.
"Parents." He said frankly, pointedly looking back to his book. A few seconds passed in silence before Potter spoke up in a voice Remus was certain he'd chosen to use because it was particularly peevish.
"So what's your name?"
Remus pretended not to hear.
"What you reading?" Black caught onto the game pretty quick.
Remus continued to ignore them.
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"What makes chocolate taste so good?"
"How many noses do you have?"
"How are babies made?"
As the onslaught of increasingly idiotic questions continued, Remus found himself actually becoming somewhat irritated.
"Are you a virgin?"
Remus snapped his book shut, "Are you trying to be insufferable tossers, or does it come naturally to you?" he asked mildly.
The two boys exchange smug grins and Remus realised with a sinking feeling all they'd wanted was a reaction and he'd just fallen into their trap.
"Exploding Snap?" Potter asked holding up the cards.
"Cockroach cluster?" Black asked, "or, er, Berty Botts every flavoured beans? Acid Pop? Sugar Quill?" holding up each in turn from the rather large pile of lollies now surrounding him.
Remus chewed his lip for a moment, torn. One game couldn't hurt could it?
"Chocolate frog?" said foodstuff wriggled free from Black's grasp and leapt across the cabin to land on Potter's face knocking his glasses from faces as it scrabbled for freedom. Black laughed as Potter tried to pry it from his face only to stumble, blind without his glasses. Standing up Black attempted to assist him, but a flailing arm struck him and Black went down, a flailing arm of his own knocking the lollies and other food into the air.
Chocolate frogs leapt to life in the air, and the exploding snap cards, well exploded while Potter and Black thrashed in a pile of unidentifiable appendages. Remus couldn't stand it any longer and he laughed at the sight. Potter and Black stopping their mad thrashing to look at him and then laughed themselves.
"See?" Potter said to Black, "I knew he wasn't a complete wet blanket!"
"Yeah, yeah, you win," Black replied, waving a hand.
They lapsed into silence and the frogs and cards settled around Potter and Black who were still sprawled on the floor.
"Hey, Black?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you remove your hand from my crotch?"
Remus collapsed onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. He was angry. Angry at James, angry at Sirius, angry at Peter and more than anything angry at himself. Thinking that one game would be harmless had been so stupid, because after caving in and saying yes to one game he'd found himself unable to say 'no' to the many games and escapades that followed.
At the time he had comforted himself with the thought that once the train journey was over he could forget the whole thing ever happened. He'd been under the impression that they would be sorted into different houses and there, problem solved. But the cruel fate that had cursed him once couldn't help but have just the tiniest bit more fun at his expense.
In truth Remus hadn't really paid all that much attention to the Sorting until after he'd been sorted into Gryffindor at which point he found himself sandwiched between Potter and another first year named Peter Pettigrew with Black seated opposite.
He'd tried to avoid them after that, but they ignored his curt requests that they leave him alone. Apparently while Remus was trying to forget what had happened on the train, the other two had decided that the journey together on the train was enough to brand him as a friend.
A friend! The very thing he had tried to avoid upon attending Hogwarts and somehow he'd managed to end up with three within the first week. The third being Pettigrew who had taken to following Potter and Black around, seemingly in hope of catching some of their popularity via association.
It was just what Remus feared. He clenched his hands into fists.
And to make matters worse in the following six months he still hadn't managed to break ties with them. While for six months, begging ill once a month wasn't too suspicious he knew it wouldn't be long before they realised something was wrong.
Of course, he hadn't been so careless as to make the pattern too obvious. He didn't just take a few days off over the full moon, sometimes he'd just be away for the night, other times, he'd be confined to the Hospital Wing for weeks at a time. And not necessarily just to cover the tracks, much of the time he was in the Hospital Wing for very real injuries. He'd been lucky so far with the weather being cool; he'd been able to get away with wearing jumpers and pants all the time to hide the scars that cross-patched his body, but he dreaded the coming summer.
He knew for a fact James and Sirius were not stupid and he dreaded the day they would confront him demanding the truth. But then it was equally possible that they would just drop him and pretend that they have never known each other or even be so disgusted that they would soon spread it throughout the school and Remus shuddered to think about all the endless trouble that would cause. He would be expelled at the very least.
The door to the dorm shut and Remus bolted upright, startled.
"Steady, mate," James laughed, pulling off his invisibility cloak, "Are you always this jumpy?"
Remus relaxed, thinking carefully before he answered, "Only on special occasions," he watched with mild interest as James went over to his trunk and began to rummage around in it, "What are you-" James gave a cry of triumph and held up an object Remus couldn't even begin to identify.
"What is that?" he asked. James winked and tapped the side of his nose. Remus sighed, "Are you always this secretive?"
James smirked, "Only on special occasions."
When Sirius asked casually if Remus had any plans for the night he should have said yes. He should have noticed the cheeky glint in Sirius and James' eyes and immediately connected it with an activity that would inevitably end in punishment, instead of being so absorbed in his book. By the time 'no' had left his lips Remus knew he'd made a mistake.
"Brilliant!" James said, clapping his hands together.
"Why?" Remus asked suspiciously, placing his book down so he wouldn't be caught out again. Sirius threw an arm around his shoulders.
"Because we, Remmy me ol' mate, in fact do have a plan but we need four people for a successful execution, and now with you on board, we now have four people," he explained.
"I do not recall ever agreeing to being 'on board' with regards to this plan," Remus told them.
The three boys shrugged as one, "You said you didn't have any plans, so now you do," James told him.
"What if I was content with my lack of plans?" Remus asked.
Sirius laughed and clapped him on the shoulder, "Tough shit, mate."
As it turned out that one plan had led to the four of them having 'plans' every night for the next two weeks. It seemed the female populous of the school did not appreciate having their lingerie strung from the ceiling of the Great Hall. Even the male populous who had at first found this rather amusing, were rather quickly subdued, by glares and the occasional hex from their female counterparts. Even some of the teachers' lingerie had been caught up in the whole incident if the looks on Professor Sinistra and Professor Babbling's faces were anything to go from.
Remus didn't mind really, taking into consideration that he had already organised with Madame Promfrey for another bout of 'illness' to take place in a week's time so inevitably he would be excused from at least some of the detentions. But he hadn't counted on what the detentions he would be present for might consist of.
Trudging through a forest was not Remus's idea of fun. Trudging through a forest at night was even less so. So when he found out that the detentions would consist of doing just that, searching for some rather elusive mooncalves that had escaped from Care of Magical Creatures three days previously he was not particularly enthused by the prospect.
Of course James, Sirius and Peter had laughed at that, although it had been somewhat forced on Peter's behalf.
Remus had tried not to tremble as they approached the forest, but as the pressure of the trees looming over them began to increase he couldn't help it.
He gradually fell behind, slowing down as he tried desperately to calm down. He closed his eyes, biting on his bottom lip as though it would stop the trembling that now racked his body. It was then that lightning forked across the sky and the thunder began to roll. Remus pressed his back against the trunk of a tree and slid down it as the sound of the storm filled the air. He drew his knees up to his chest and sobbed into his arms. The tempest raged around him, the endless rain turning the ground to mud and the wind whipping debris into the air and tugging at his clothes and the limbs of trees alike. But Remus couldn't hear or see any of it anymore.
He was lost to the world, he was reliving another storm, from many years ago that would remain forever etched into his mind. The screams, the blood, the pure terror of that night returning to him, so real, too real. The sobs that racked his body served only to remind him of the pain that had suddenly returned to every one of the scars that patterned his body.
A voice pressed at his ears, trying to gain his attention, a hand squeezed his shoulders. His head shot up, his eyes wild with fear and he tried to scoot backwards, away from the person, but solid wood met him. Remus struck out, but a hand caught his arm and held it firm.
"Remus?" the voice asked again, the speaker leaned close and Remus recognised him despite the darkness that now shrouded them. How long had he been like that for?
"Leave me alone!" he cried, swinging madly with his other hand. James caught that arm too, his face grim with a mix of concern and determination.
"What's wrong?" James said it kindly and it took Remus by surprise. He realised that he had expected James would laugh if he ever found out about Remus' childish fears of forests and storms. Remus relaxed slightly and James released his arms, moving to sit by him in the mud.
He chewed at his lip, string hard at the muddy ground, "What's wrong?" James asked again. Remus didn't look up when he answered.
"I don't like forests," he took a deep breath, tears forming in his eyes, "and…I don't like storms," he surrendered to the tears again. James said nothing, wrapping a comforting around his friend's shoulders as he cried. Again Remus lost track of time, not coming to himself until James gently dug an elbow into his side. The rain had stopped and the air was no longer ringing with the crash of thunder.
"Look," James said softly, directing Remus gaze to the clearing before them where a gap in the canopy had allowed a small beam of moonlight to filter down in the forest. A mooncalf stood there moving its awkward limbs with incredible grace, taking utter joy in the moonlight.
And in that instant Remus felt compelled to hate it.
To those of you who are reading my work for the first time just a little note; I love and worship all those who review, so please do =P
