Hi everyone! I'm writing a new series of my Harry Potter parody! I know I haven't made Prisoner of Azkaban so here it is! I will not copy other parodies for this. (I didn't even read any.) I am not JK Rowling. Never had been JK Rowling and never been JK Rowling. This parody is just a joking version of the movie so it is not real at all. Here it is!


Harry is in his bed under the blanket.

Harry Come on! Why won't you work!? Lumos Maxima! Nothing happens. Why did Hermione get me spellbooks as gifts!?

Hedwig By the fact you're stupid and the hero.

Harry Oh shut up you stupid bird! I never talked to you!?

Hedwig Then who were you talking to?

Awkward pause.

Harry Shouldn't you be kissing your inflatable girlfriend/owl?

Hedwig Uh about that...I sort of blew it up when I kissed it.

Harry What the hell!? How could you!? That was 200,000,000,000 galleons!

Hedwig Shouldn't you be practicing your spell?

Harry Well I can't do it! Lumos Maxima! Light emits from his wand. Yes! I did it! Light goes away. Damn it!?

Hedwig Practice makes perfect! Keep doing it.

Harry Aw man! I was so close! I quit!

Hedwig You can't quit! Quitting is not an option!

Harry Who are you!? The goody goody owl?

Hedwig Damn it! He found my identity! I mean no! NO!

Harry Uh huh. Really, I believe you. NOT! Lumos Maxima! Light emits from his wand. Yes!

Hedwig somehow blows the light out.

Harry What was that for!?

Hedwig (Sarcastically.) Oh, I'm sorry! I coughed by accident!

Harry Yeah right! Hears footstep.

Hedwig He's coming! Quick go to sleep!

Harry Oh my god! There goes my wand and my book and time to go to sleep! Pretends being asleep. A small rat comes in.

Hedwig Sorry. False alarm. Uncle Vernon comes in. Go to sleep!

Vernon I know I heard something. Sees a rat. Looks like Harry will be having some trouble tommorrow. Bwahahahaha! Starts coughing and walks away.

Harry Lumos Maxima! Nothing happens.

Hedwig Maybe you should flick your wand.

Harry Oh yeah so if I flick my wand it will work! Lumos Maxima! Whole room lights up.

Hedwig Goo gid bit!

Harry What!?

Hedwig Goo gid bit!

Harry Points wand at Hedwig and sees him eating a rat. Aw sick! Hedwig why did you do that!?

Hedwig Uncle Vernon said it will cause trouble.

Harry Well don't eat it in front of me!

The next day downstairs.

Vernon Hurry! Hurry! My aunt is coming!

Dudley Who is the aunt?

Vernon Her name is Marge.

Harry You aunt is Marge Simpson!?

Petunia Well. My aunt is Marge Simpson who married that Homer Simpson! I told her not too!

Vernon Cough! Off topic! Cough!

Dudley Does she have a dog?

Vernon It's a cute one!

Dudley So she has a dog?

Vernon Of course Dudley.

Harry Is she nice?

Vernon Who was talking to you!?

Harry Sorry! Can you sign this?

Vernon I would like to be taken out of Hogwarts. Sign here if wanted Of course!

Harry I mean the other side.

Vernon The student shall be able to go to Hogsmeade (A shopping place. It even has a mall!) with the permission of a parent/guardian. Sign here. Never!

Harry You're mean! I bought you a superman action figure, How to be a King book, and cooked year Supplies of steaks for you and you don't sign this!

Vernon The steaks was eaten in one day, I wanted a barbie doll, and How to be a QUEEN book!

Harry ...you're gay.

Vernon Oh shut up and cook something extremely yummy! Actually cook something bad so that I can punish you! Bwahahahaha!

Harry Well how would your aunt feel.

Awkward pause.

Vernon Cook something good for Marge and bad for everyone else.

Aunt Marge comes in with her dog. The dog starts biting Harry.

Harry Eyah! Get off me you perv!

Marge Vernon! It's been years since I seen you!

Vernon Marge! It's been a day since I seen you!

Marge It was!?

Harry Okay. Who wants spinach!?

Everybody throws up.

Harry Okay. How about tomatoes.

Vernon Petunia and Dudley and I wants it!

Dudley and Petunia We do!?

Vernon Shut up! He'll get in trouble for giving us disgusting food.

Petunia Ooh! Good idea!

In the kitchen.

Marge Hmm. This tastes quite good! Who cooked it?

Vernon Eh hem. Me.

Marge Ugh! It's dreadful!

Vernon But you said it was good!

Marge I lied.

Harry Heh heh. Reverse Phycoligy.

Marge Why does the boy live here? Gives dog some steak under the table.

Petunia Orphan. I so hate them. They're all this and that!

Marge I know what you mean.

Harry Hey! So what if I am an orphan! At least I'm not fat!

Marge Gasp! Starts crying. Vernon stares at Harry.

Vernon Oh you're dead after this.

Harry Oh blah! I'll just cast a curse at you!

Petunia Oh shut up orphan or you'll end up the way happy Petunia is!

Shows a bubble with Happy Petunia killed from Devil Petunia which is controling her right now.

Harry Cool! How did you make a bubble!?

Marge It's so easy to make one! Shows a bubble with skinny Marge dead and fat marge showing her identity.

Harry shudders.

Vernon We're off topic!

Marge Drops cup on purpose. Whoops! Clean that up Potter! Harry cleans the glass up. You know how his parents died? I do. They died because they shot each other because they were such an ass.

Vernon Oh why didn't I think of that!? I said car crash.

Marge Oh that is terribly wrong. They commited suicide.

Harry No they didn't! Well maybe they did. But Dumblesnore said they-

Dog Hint hint. It's Dumbledore!

Harry What the hell!? I might be a wooflemouth. I can talk to dogs! SWEET!

Dog Save it for book 7.

Harry Anyway, Voldemort killed them!

Marge Oh shut up and wash my dish! (Whispering.) You're orphan son is a big liar. He can't admit they commited suicide!

Harry SHUT UP! Marge starts swelling up. The buttons in her coat hits Dudley in the head and then hits a clock and then hits the dog and then hits Dudley again who fell down again. Cool.

Marge starts floating in the air.

Vernon Oh my god! Marge!

Marge This is fun! So when am I going back down?

Harry Never.

Marge Oh my god! Help me!

Harry Of course if a pin hits you, you're screwed.

Marge I don't want to die by blowing up!

Vernon You won't sis! You won't!

Marge goes out from the window and gets stuck.

Harry Hold on! Let me help you there. Tries to push Marge out of the window.

Marge Stop it! I'm going to die!

Harry Damn straight you will!

Vernon Stop it!

Marge comes out from the window.

Marge Help me you bastard!

Vernon tries pulling her down and now he's floating. Now the dog is biting Vernon's leg and is also floating.

Marge Don't you dare!

Vernon Sorry sis! Falls down. Marge goes flying in the air. NOOO!!!

Harry Don't worry! I made a clay figure of her so that you can remember her. Gives Vernon a clay figure. Also if her body is in an auction I'll try buying it.

Vernon Good luck with that you killer.

LATER!

Harry comes down from the staircase with his luggages and Hedwig.

Vernon Where are you going?

Harry I'm leaving! I am going to marry this girl named Cho and live happily ever after with our Chamerica children!

Vernon Chamerica?

Harry Chinese and American kids mixed together. Bye! Oh I left a note in the fridge. Gets ready to leave the house.

Vernon Oh no you won't! What about Marge!?

Harry I'll buy her in an auction! BYE! Leaves house. Look in the fridge!

Vernon Hmm. Dear family Hi! I'm leaving. Bye! Harry Potter. HARRY POTTER!

Harry Seems like they're going to have a terrible life.


I think this is quite long. I made it a little too long maybe. I know it wasn't so funny. Barely any jokes, only a few. But hey! I'm not copying at least! (I don't think I am because I didn't read any of these parodies.) Thank you for reading this chapter. Good or bad give me some reviews, Please.