Lies Told To Protect Our Hearts

I don't own One Tree Hill.

Note: Peyton never went to Savannah.


Brooke's POV

I'm not proud of it. What I have done is pretty much horrible. But like most lies, it seemed like a good idea at the time, the best solution.

I took a weekend to clear my head, I needed something to let me know I was doing what I should be doing: designing clothes, being in love with Lucas. A weekend wasn't supposed to make it more complicated.

No one knew where I had gone, I just told everyone I was spending a weekend to myself to work on more design. I wouldn't be in this mess if that was the truth. I had gone to connect with the friend who had always been there for me even when I hadn't been there for him. That was Jake for you. And in that weekend no one knew how I felt, how he felt, what we did, or what he did to break my heart. He sent me back to reality, tears in my eyes, back to the world he wasn't in. He said he couldn't let me love him, he couldn't love me like he wanted…he said he was protecting me.

I pushed that weekend and all the guilt out of my mind, without Jake, I couldn't lose Lucas, too. But the moment the test came positive I knew I would lose him. I was repeating history; I wouldn't blame him for hating me. But Lucas always had a way of surprising me. He assumed instantly the baby was his, I mean, he didn't know he had any reason to assume otherwise. He smiled and told me it would be alright. I wanted to believed him so much I didn't tell him the truth, I wanted my heart to heal and be protected so much that I didn't stop him. I didn't stop him from worrying about me, from coming to the doctor's appointments, making craving runs for my sake. I didn't stop my self from letting me believe the lie I was telling.

I convinced myself so well, I made it worse. Even when my son was born, I didn't tell the truth. Lucas stood by me in the delivery room and when my son was born he proudly cut the cord, and held the boy claiming they shared the same eyes. My heart broke again in that instant and I couldn't tell him that his claim wasn't possible. I knew in that moment there was no going back. So, I sealed the lie, the birth certificate sports the names of two parents, and the name of the new little boy, Lyric Jamison Scott.

Even though it doesn't always make sense, I felt content in the lie to the point that it makes it seem that lying was the best decision I could have made. My son has a father, and Lucas became the man I convinced myself was worth my love. Lucas became the man most worthy to be my son's father. Lucas was there for every first, every cry, proudly showed of the boy. And despite my insistence that my son's name was Lyric or Lyr, as I called him, Lucas always called him Jamie, his special name for his son. It also gave Nathan and Lucas a stronger bond in a way, they found themselves on the same playing field. Every Saturday Lucas and Nathan met at the basketball court, Lucas brought Lyr and Nathan brought Ben. Then a few hours later Haley and I would stop by Karen's Café and pick up Lucas' sister, Lily, and meet the boys. Lucas was always proud of that…family tradition.

It's the one thing I can never take back: I let the boy who loved me take the fall for the boy I loved, I let the boy who loved me protect me when the boy I loved wouldn't. I wanted to stay in this world of false happiness, because I thought it was the best way to protect everyone's heart.

But the moment the test came back positive I knew I'd lose him too…it was only a matter of time.