I am nothing if not a perfectionist. I have the perfect job, the perfect qualifications, the perfect friends and the perfect house. The only thing missing is the perfect love the one that sweeps you off your feet and lands you straight into having 2.4 children and a big shaggy black dog.

No I don't have this love I have a mixed up crazy love; a hidden untouched love that is left to simmer by itself on a hot plate. My love is nothing but imperfect, we fight, we hurt, and on occasion we even die before we pick it up and carry on. My love is like an ongoing quest to find utopia, always within reach but never quite managing to grab it, something always stands in the way.

He is always there I can feel his breath behind me. He waits, he understands he acknowledges that I need perfection and while I hunt outside of his love to see whether I can find it elsewhere, he is patient he lets it be. I don't find love elsewhere I find misery I know that he is my destiny but I also know that this is bigger than the two of us. I understand that the world, the future of the human race is far more important then us.

Don't pity me; don't try to find fanciful ways out of this ditch, there is only one way and im taking it. First we must defeat the torrent of evil that immediately threatens this world then and only then can we be.