Well, this was a little depressing for me to write. It was supposed to be about 10x worse, but this is what happened. Sorry for any mistakes I missed. Hope y'all enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia
P.S. – This is the eighth story in a challenge I bestowed on myself a while ago where I have to decide on a prompt for each letter of the alphabet and then write a story/one-shot for each letter, hence the title. The first is "C is for Change", but that's a different fandom :P
H is for Heartbreak
A pink plus blared up at her from the little white face. In most cases, she was sure, that plus was a sign, a cause, for celebration and happiness. Not hers though. That plus meant her end. It meant a death and a new beginning.
The pit of her stomach sank slowly. Quickly, she threw the little wand away from her, turning to vomit into the toilet.
Tears coursed down her cheeks, hot and resistant to her efforts to hold them back. A sob crawled up her throat before she could stop it. It was a keening, ugly whine that was louder than it was quiet.
"Why?" she whispered harshly, banging her fist into the wall, cracking the wood beneath, "Why me? I don't want to leave, not yet."
A soft knock sounded at the door, startling her enough to make her hiccup. "Elizabeta, is everything alright?" came Austria's unmistakable voice.
Hungary's eyes turned towards the door, filling with a torrent of tears. Her eyes dipping down, they widened as she noticed where the pregnancy test was. It had slid halfway under the door, enough that if Austria simply glanced down, he'd see the evidence of her despair.
Scrambling across the tiles, she snatched up the object, glaring and shaking it as if it had been the things fault for nearly being spotted.
"Elizabeta?" Austria called again, worry slipping into his voice. He tried the door, but of course it was locked.
In her most composed voice, Hungary called back, "Yes, Roderich. I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute, then we can go. Go wait in the car."
"If you insist," Austria replied.
Hungary waited until the tap of his shoes had disappeared down the hall before dropping the test into a Ziploc bag and closing it. She stuffed it in the back of the cabinet. She'd have to deal with it later, throwing it out where Austria couldn't find it. Slowly, she closed the door on her future.
…..
Prussia slammed into the bed. Hard. Harder than usual. His shirt was pulled open, and his pants were across the room before he knew what was happening. She slid up his body, dropping down gentle kisses, and nipping at the soft flesh and hard muscle beneath her fingers.
"Whoa! Hungary, wait!" he cried, grabbing her shoulders and pushing her up, "What did I do?"
She stared at him, her eyes half glazed over with lust and the other half with tears. She blinked the watery traitors away, prying his hands away. "Nothing, just take it. I don't want to talk tonight."
"Hungary-" he began, but her mouth was suddenly on his, silencing his words.
She leaned over him, straddling his hips. Harshly, she ground down against him, making him gasp sharply.
"Hungary," he groaned, drawing out her name around her mouth. Wet droplets splattered his face, making him blink fast. With difficulty, he managed to push her up. She stared down at him, tears trickling down her cheeks. "Lizzy," he whispered, his eyes wide with surprise.
A sob shook her shoulders. He pulled her back on top of him, holding her to his chest tightly. "Why are you crying?" he whispered, rubbing pale fingers along her back in soothing arcs, "Shh, it's going to be alright. Whatever it is, it'll be fine."
"No, it's not," she sobbed, dropping her face into the crook of his neck, balling her fist against his chest, "It's never going to be okay again."
…..
Hungary tried her hardest to tune out Germany's incessant droning. She pressed her head harder into the table, her arms crossed to cover any part of her face that was visible. 'I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here,' she thought miserably, tears pooling under her.
Germany barked something at her, something she couldn't hear passed the ringing in her ears. She tightened her arms around her head. Everything felt like it was pressing in on her, squeezing the air from her lungs. Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she fought against the rising nausea.
"Bruder, shut up already. You're being really loud. There are people trying to sleep here," Prussia interjected, smoothly cutting Germany off mid-lecture. Germany made to protest, but Prussia just clucked his tongue. "Bruder, don't be rude. I didn't raise you to act like that."
"Actually-" Germany started.
"Just leave it," Prussia said in a finalizing tone, "Leave her alone and let her sleep. It won't hurt anything. She'll just get notes from me."
"Yeah, like that'll help," Austria muttered irately, but Germany dropped the issue.
Growling quietly, Germany returned to his speech.
When Hungary felt Prussia's fingers running gently through her hair, her shoulders slowly unwound. She released a shaky breath, relaxing under his long, warm fingers, just barely arching into them as they passed between her shoulder blades and over her neck.
"Just sleep, just sleep. Ignore everyone else," Prussia whispered so only she could hear, tangling his fingers in her hair, "Nothing will have changed when you return."
…..
Prussia felt the lie in his throat like acid. Everything, everything could change in a matter of moments. He could feel something changing in his body, something different from before. It felt as if his cells were rebelling against themselves, changing and dying, waging a civil war he wasn't equipped to fight against. It was as if he could feel himself dying, day by day.
It had happened more than a month ago. He hadn't gotten up the guts to tell anyone, not even Germany or Hungary. Every time he thought of opening his mouth, fear would course through his veins. Fear of being shunned, of being left to die alone. Fear that he would lose everyone who had ever mattered to him. Fear that she would stop loving him.
He had become human, and that scared him more than anything.
Since he had changed, something had invaded his body. More often than not, pain filled his body to the brim. He didn't understand. Did being human hurt so much? Was he sick? He wouldn't know because he'd never had anything worse than the flu. He had an appointment with a doctor to find out what it was.
He wished he had the courage to tell Hungary.
She had finally, truly, dropped off to sleep when the first throat slicing cough came. The first, he stifled with his hand, placing it over his mouth. Austria shot him a look, but Prussia just grinned making him roll his eyes and look away.
When he coughed a second time, harder than before, he used his arm to cover his mouth. Blood sprinkled the crook of his elbow as he pulled it back. He slapped the hand over his mouth, pulling his fingers free of Hungary's hair.
He jumped to his feet, rushing for the door. "I got to take a piss," he shot over his shoulder, not lingering long enough to hear a reply.
Stumbling into the bathroom, he slammed and locked the door, leaving a smear of blood on the latch. He caught himself on the edge of the sink, his eyes beginning to water. The coughing had worsened, and he couldn't see an end in sight.
He bent over the sink, heaving with the force of his coughing. Spit ran down his chin, dyed pink.
"Mon ami," France called from the other side of the door, startling him, "Are you alright?"
"Prussia, let us in," Spain said, tapping lightly on the door, "We want to help."
"The awesome me is fine!" Prussia called back, voice muffled by his hand, "Go back to the meeting. I'll be back in a moment." As their footsteps disappeared, he ripped paper towels from the dispenser and violently tried to scrub the red stain from the crook of his arm.
…..
"At this time, we do not know what is wrong with you, Mr. Beilschmit," Germany and Prussia's private, usually unused, physician said, staring down at his marked-up clip board, "I'm sorry."
"What? How can you not know? You're a goddamn doctor! How can you not know?" Prussia cried, voice steadily rising to an uncontested shout.
"Mr. Beilschmit, please lower your voice," the doctor said, standing his ground, "We have never seen an occurrence like this. This is a new bacteria or virus. It is like tuberculosis, but acts more like AIDs. It is neither, I can tell you that. We don't know what it is. Once we figure that out, finding a cure will be an easier task, but for now, just hold tight."
Grinding his teeth, Prussia began to jerk his clothes back on under his gown, still sitting on the edge of the table. "What am I going to do quarantined to my home?"
"That won't be necessary. As far as we can tell, this virus cannot be passed on through contact or bodily fluids. We believe it is carried in the blood. It is wise to be cautious for now though."
"Right, sure, what the fuck ever." Prussia leaped from the table, stalking across the living room they'd taken over for the examination. He yanked up his jacket from the back of a chair. Tearing the door open, he nearly plowed right through a wide-eyed Hungary. "Lizzy," he whispered, mouth going dry and infected blood turning to ice, "Did you…?" He couldn't finish the question.
She nodded.
The doctor poked his head out the door. He smiled widely at the woman. "Ah, Miss Hungary," he couldn't remember her name. He never was one for the Hungarian names. "I was just about to head over. Are you feeling well today? The morning sickness not too terrible?"
Frowning, Prussia glanced between the pair. "Morning sickness?"
"Your pregnancy test came back positive. Your other tests were all negative. Congratulations to both you and Mr. Beilschmit for the baby," the doctor said cheerily, handing Hungary a thick manila envelope. "I hope to see you well and soon. I'll call to schedule the next check-up." With that, the doctor took off, not staying behind to observe the train wreck that was likely to ensue.
Hungary and Prussia couldn't look each other in the eyes. He cleared his throat. "It looks like we've both been hiding some things…"
"Yes…"
Silence.
"When were you going to tell me?" he asked, finally looking to her. "Is it… Is it even mine?"
"What do you think I am? Some woman who sleeps around even when she has a lover?" Hungary spat at him, anger flaring.
Prussia glared back at her. "I didn't say that."
"You implied it!" She stopped before she could say another word. Closing her eyes, Hungary breathed deeply to tamp down her anger. "It's yours," she said solemnly, pressing her hand over her abdomen. She could feel her pulse loud and clear there, strong and hot beneath her fingers. "When were you planning on telling us? Telling me?" Her voice was hurt, but she knew she had no right to be.
Prussia stared down guiltily. "I wasn't… planning to. I didn't want anyone to know. It's not awesome."
"Gil, it's important!"
"And so is pregnancy!" Prussia shot back, "You know what is going to happen."
"And so do you," Hungary spat back. They fumed silently at each other before tears pricked at her eyes. "We're a fucking mess."
"But we're a fucking mess together." Prussia grinned. He pulled Hungary into his chest, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, feeling her shudder.
…..
Three months later, Hungary was bolting from the meeting room, ignoring Germany's irate shout to return. Prussia followed close behind her, his hand pressed over his mouth, sweat dripping down his forehead and neck, soaking into his collar.
They slammed through the same door, Prussia rushed to spit a mouthful of blood into the porcelain sink and Hungary retching into a stall. Their combined heaving filled the small room.
Finally, Prussia choked past the blood, "We need to tell them."
Hungary nodded, but made no other indication she'd heard his suggestion.
…..
When they returned, the group was waiting anxiously for them, watching the doors like hawks watching a rabbit on the ground. "Are you alright?" Italy asked, standing from his seat. "Is that blood on your sleeve?"
The pair nodded, standing behind their seats. "We have to tell you all something."
"Are you pregnant, mon amie?" France asked, a serious air about him that was rarely present. A frown turned down his normally smiling mouth. His arms were crossed tightly over his chest, defensive and scared.
Hungary looked away as she nodded. "Oh, Miss Hungary," Italy crooned sadly, his curl drooping.
"How far along are you?" Austria asked, eyes moving between Hungary and Prussia.
"Four months," Hungary whispered, her voice nearly non-existent. She looked sadly up at Prussia. "There's something else…"
"I'm dying," Prussia announced so she wouldn't have to say the words.
"That is not something to joke about," Germany growled.
Prussia returned the glare, all joking gone from his demeanor. "Do you think I'd joke about this? I'm not that big of an asshole, you know?"
Italy sputtered. "But you can't die. You're a nation. You'd just heal. If you weren't a nation anymore… you'd just… turn into a human…" He trailed off, amber eyes widening.
"You… turned human, didn't you?" Spain whispered, hand tightening around Lovino's hand, the one he'd taken only moments before.
The younger nations glanced incredulously to the older nations. The olders had gone utterly silent.
"Yes," Prussia said, destroying the silence. "Apparently, I contracted a form of cancer that doesn't even have any type of treatment because it's rare as fuck. As far as I know, I'll be dead before my child is born." Despair washed over the countries. The meeting was dismissed early, but none of the others left.
…..
"Mr. Bielschmit," a nurse whispered, rousing Prussia from his drug induced sleep.
He blinked awake slowly, but didn't see the nurse. Instead, he zeroed in on the pink bundle held in Germany's arms. Italy stood beside him, tears washing down his face. Behind them were France, Spain and Austria. As he watched, he finally heard the nurse's words.
"I am sorry to inform you, but your wife passed on during labor. She gave birth to a healthy baby girl, but I need you to choose a name for her and sign some paperwork, please, if you're feeling up to it," she said, her voice sounding with fake sincerity.
"Can I hold her?" he asked, ignoring the nurse. He held out his thin arms. They were shaking with the effort. Germany moved past the nurse, placing the bundle in his arms. Prussia grinned down at the little girl. "She's almost as awesome as her dad. And when she grows up, she definitely will be."
"What will her name be?" the nurse asked.
"Angyalka, 'angel', like her mother wanted, because she looks like me," Prussia said, smiling as he remembered the conversation they'd had. They'd agreed that if the baby looked like him, Hungary got to name her, but if the baby looked like Hungary, Prussia got to name her.
The nurse nodded.
Prussia signed the papers. When the nurse was gone, Prussia was left with his daughter and his family. He could feel himself slowly slipping off the edge of the cliff. His chest was tight, his heart fighting for every pump, his blood fighting him every step of the way. He wanted so much to stay there, to raise his daughter, but he didn't have enough time.
He talked with them, Germany, Italy, Austria, but mostly, he talked to Angyalka. He told her everything she'd become, everything he could think of, from his and Hungary's history that would become hers to the name of the dogs who would be her best friends. He told her who to be friends with –Spain, Italy, America and Canada- and who to stay the hell away from –France, Russia and China-.
Three hours later, Prussia's breathing started to slow, the heart monitor recording the slowing of his heart. He smiled sadly, rubbing his thumb over Angyalka's cheek. The others didn't notice until the heart monitor flat lined.
"Prussia!" Italy cried, turning to grab for his arm. His hand paused midair, tears slipping down his cheeks. "I hope you're happy where you are," he whispered, dropping his fingers to Prussia's cold hand, "We'll take good care of her." Prussia was still smiling down at his baby girl.
…..
"Uncle Feli, Uncle Ludwig, what were Mommy and Daddy like?" a ten-year-old Angyalka asked, staring up at the two men who'd taken care of her since she was barely a few hours old. She had green eyes that were framed by white bangs. Her usually pale skin had a light tan, a trait she'd gotten from her mother. "I know they were nations like I am, but were they nice or mean or funny?"
Germany and Italy smiled, glancing at each other. "Your mother was very beautiful," Italy began, "And very nice… to some people."
"And your father was the most awesome man I've ever had the pleasure to know," Germany started in, "And loved to make your mom mad."
Together, they said, "And it's about time that you got to know them…"
Sooooo, there's that. This kind of needed you to know that when female nations get pregnant, the child replaces them as the nation, that's why it's hard for them to get pregnant and that a nation that isn't a nation anymore turns human. Hope y'all liked it, that it wasn't too terrible, and that y'all don't hate me too much.
