Hello, hello! I'm Doggirlem, nice to meet you. Does anyone actually read these stupid things? I'll be honest I usually don't. Anyway, this is my 3rd Klaine story. In this story Kurt has been mysteriously transformed into a _. You have to read to find the answer. Enjoy, I'll try to keep it cute.

I don't own Glee, but even if I did this story could really never happen.

Blaine was alone in his room listening to showtunes. It even sounded sad when he said it. Specifically, he was alone because he refused to go with Wes and David to "study" in the library because he actually needed to work. Plus, he told himself, It's not like I'm listening to Phantom of the Opera, it's only Rent. Not that sad…

Blaine's phone rang. It was David so Blaine sighed and answered grudgingly.

"What do you want David?" Blaine asked.

"QUIET!" Blaine heard David shouting. He heard crying in the background. That was never, ever, a good sign. "BLAINE! You need to come to the library right now. We need someone competent."

"Competent? I never actually thought you'd admit to being incompetent." Blaine said.

"Please, Blaine. We don't have time for this. We really need you. It's urgent. Like, code red." David told his friend.

"Alright, I'll be right down." Blaine replied. There was a loud crash, more crying, and then David hung up. Blaine gratefully put down his math book and headed downstairs. As he approached the library he saw that people were hurriedly leaving. Another bad sign.

"Guys?" Blaine called as he entered the library. He heard the same crying as on the phone but muffled and he followed the sound. He rounded a table and saw Wes and David sitting on either side of a small child. Or… Blaine assumed it was a child. Wes had its head wrapped in his sweatshirt to make the crying quieter.

Blaine looked at the two of his friends and then stood in silence for a few long moments. He took a deep breath. "First question. David, did you get your girlfriend pregnant?"

"What? NO! The kid's like four. I'm only seventeen. You do the math. Plus he's white." David replied.

"Okay, that's good… So why do you have a child?" Blaine asked.

"Blaine, you have to promise two things. First, don't freak out and second, David and I didn't do this." Wes said. He took a deep breath and pulled his sweatshirt off the kid's head.

The kid was a boy and when he realized that his head was not smothered he began to cry again. His clothes were WAY too big. The sleeves of the Dalton blazer he was wearing were about twice as long as his little arms. Then the kid looked up at Blaine.

"HOLY CRAP!" Blaine shouted, backpedaling away from the table and nearly tripping over a chair."

"You promised you wouldn't freak out." Wes reminded him.

"But… T-That's… That's Kurt." Blaine said slowly, gasping for breath.

"Yeah we know." David said.

"What… How…?" Blaine stammered.

"We don't know." Wes and David said at the same time.

Kurt cried especially loudly. Blaine, David, and Wes all cringed.

"Make him be quiet Blaine!" Wes begged.

"Please, we can't get him to shut up!" David agreed.

Blaine took another gulp of air and approached little Kurt. Blaine sat next to the little boy and said "Hey… um, It's okay. Kurt, be quiet please."

Kurt looked up at Blaine and sniffled. "I… I don't know where I am an-and I just want my mommy." Kurt said, and began to whimper again.

Blaine thought he felt his heart crack. "Shh, it's okay… I'm going to bring you to your mommy later okay? But you need to stop crying."

Little Kurt nodded and sniffed again but stopped crying. Wes and David let out sighs of relief.

"I'm Kurt." Little Kurt said.

"Hi there Kurt, I'm Blaine." Blaine said kindly.

"Do you know my mommy?"

"Um… Yeah. Yeah I do." Blaine lied.

Kurt grinned and began to kick his legs. Then he looked up and said "Bwaine? I'm hungry." (Yay little kid talk!)

"You are? Well, let's go get you some food." Blaine said.

"Okay." Kurt agreed cheerily. Little Kurt climbed down from his chair and grabbed Blaine's hand.

"Aww." David said. Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Can I have a Penabudder and Jelly sandwich?" Kurt asked adorably.

"Sure buddy." Blaine told him.

They all began to walk until Blaine remembered that he had no idea where they were going to get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Blaine glanced at Wes and David, who shrugged uselessly.

They got a few more steps, but then Kurt tripped over the pants of his Dalton uniform that were now about ten sizes too big and were trailing behind him.

Wes and David both cringed and covered their ears, but Kurt just got up and commenced skipping, which of course led to him falling again. Kurt frowned in contemplation then began to try to wiggle out of the pants.

"No no no no. Don't do that." Blaine shouted quickly. Kurt pouted. "Do either of you happen to have pants that would fit a small child?" Blaine asked his friends.

"Oh, yeah, I keep a pair of toddler pants with me at all times because I just knew something like this was going to happen." David said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Not funny David." Blaine said seriously. Wes stopped laughing at Blaine's tone.

"Blaine, what are we going to do? We can't take care of the kid… Kurt… It would be like teenage pregnancy. They tell you to avoid it for a reason." Wes told them pointedly.

"Okay… Ummm…" Blaine sat down on a bench to think. He put his head on one hand and sighed. Kurt hopped up on the bench and sat next to Blaine, little Kurt also put his head on one hand and sighed, attempting to imitate Blaine. Wes and David both bit back comments they knew would just make Blaine angrier.

Kurt got bored of imitating Blaine and began to idly fiddle with his pockets. Then Kurt realized that his pockets weren't empty. The toddler pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open. He began to click random buttons. He had sent five messages before Blaine looked over and realized what he was doing.

"Kurt, stop! That's not a toy." Blaine told Kurt, taking the phone from him.

"Give it back! It's mine! I had it first!" Kurt shouted at Blaine.

"No Kurt, you can't have it. You might break it." Blaine said reasonably.

"You can have it when I'm done. It's my turn." Kurt said back, he sounded like this was a conversation he'd had many times.

"Just let me see it for a minute." Blaine said.

"Didn't your parents ever teach you to share?" Kurt said angrily.

Blaine ignored Kurt and went to see what Kurt had sent. He'd sent gibberish to Mercedes, Puck, Brittany, Rachel, and Finn.

Blaine quickly locked the phone off before handing it back to Kurt, who was now on the verge of tears. Kurt didn't seem to notice the lock on the device and happily clicked the buttons.

Then the phone began to vibrate. Blaine snatched the phone from Kurt again, and Kurt began to whimper. Mercedes was calling. Blaine took a deep breath and answered.

"Hello?"

"This isn't Kurt." Mercedes' voice came bluntly from the other line

"Um… Yes, this is Blaine." Blaine said back.

"Why do you have Kurt's phone?" Mercedes asked.

"Actually, it's kind of a long and insane sounding story…" Blaine said, laughing awkwardly.

"So, can I talk to Kurt?" Mercedes asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Actually… Mercedes… I kind of need your help. It's about Kurt. Could you come to Dalton?" Blaine asked. David and Wes gaped at him.

"Blaine, honestly. You should be able to ask Kurt out without help from me." Mercedes said.

"I'm not trying to ask him out! Listen, this is not about me and Kurt, it's just about Kurt. Could you just please come? I'll explain everything when you get here."

There was a long pause, then Mercedes said "Fine. But this had better be important. I'm not wasting my weekend just because you didn't man up and ask the boy out."

"This is not about me and Kurt!" Blaine shouted into the phone, but Mercedes had already hung up.

Blaine shot and angry look at his friends, who we attempting to stifle giggles but failing miserably.

Then, Blaine turned to Kurt and handed him the phone, which he once again locked. "I'm very sorry I keep taking that from you. I didn't mean to." Blaine said apologetically.

Kurt looked at him with one eyebrow raised. "Okay, Bwaine. I forgive you." He said finally.

The end… for now. Mercedes will come in the next chapter. Also, a note: Blaine, Wes, and David don't know that Kurt's mom is dead. Please Review!