Title: She hated that

Rated: umm, PG-13 but that's one heck of a stretch

Authors note: heh no plot and really short! Just the way I like it!

Spoilers: nope

Pairing: G/S

Reviews: yeah why not, but I bruise easy so please don't hit me to hard.

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, I don't own the characters, I don't own anything to do with anybody okay! You happy! I'm going to go rock backwards and forwards in a corner now sigh okay just don't sue pretty please.

She hated when he smiled at her like that, she hated the way his eyes came up to meet her, and she hated that she loved it more than anything else in what was left of her life… She tried to think of a time when she liked her life… it hurt… the last time she was really happy? Was when she had had some hope for… them now that was gone and all she had left was this job and waking nightmares of death and loss that and a sorry excuse for an escape in a bottle. She stopped herself and just for a second let herself get lost in those eyes, he was talking, she had to listen but she was too tired, to tired of this sorry game with no end, with only one willing player, too tired of having an empty hole where friends and laughter should be. She felt cheated.

"Yes Grissom," she snapped, more out of sorrow than anger, she wanted her life back, her dreams, she felt as if this job was all she had, and it was stealing her dreams as well.

She blinked back the memories of lost lives, loves and the nightmares that stole her night wanderings.

"Look Grissom I'm a big girl and I know what I'm doing! I'm sick of you underestimating me!" she knew that wasn't what he had meant, he was helping, he was trying to be nice which was more than what she had now come to expect from him. She understood him pushing her away, she understood because that was how she worked in her relationships too, that was calling this a relationship… sometimes she wondered what this was, she thought about it so much maybe it really was all in her head.

"I'm sorry Sara? "He was apologising! Ha! He hadn't even done anything wrong, all she wanted to do was hug him, or tell him how much that meant but instead all she said was

"Whatever Grissom. I don't need this." She did need this and she didn't want to admit that to herself, she needed someone… no she needed him that was different.

"I do." She had turned around when she heard those words.

She could barley bring herself to turn back to him, had she imagined it? Was she imagining the significance now?

"What?" when he didn't respond she pressed, "What do you need Grissom?"

"What I can't have."

"What do you need Grissom? "She repeated, holding her breath, hoping he would answer soon so she could let it out.

"Nothing…" that's what she thought… "…I can bring myself to live without." He finished slowly. To say she was in shock would have been an understatement.

"Damb it Grissom I'm to tired for this," she sighed and met his eyes wondering what he saw there.

"I can't give you what you deserve Sara, I can't give you the world…"

"I don't want the world, I never did."

"I can just give you me Sara, I can't even promise all of that, and with all the things in the way and-"

"That's all I ever wanted Gris." He didn't falter his gaze as he stood and at eyelevel walked around his desk.

She was frozen and as his hand reached to her face, mirroring an act of hers a lifetime ago all her nightmares melted forever and as he slowly brought his lips to hers she felt the hole in her heart fill with hope and a lifetimes laughter.

She kissed him softly at fist almost lost in the unreality then her passion deepened and so did the kiss, she pulled away long enough to look into his eyes, she loved his eyes, he was smiling, she loved his smile and now in his loving arms she felt as though she had never lost her life, it was just a test, because anything that lead her here was worth it. In that one kiss all her dreams began to blossom and as she rested her head against his shoulder she knew she would make it, and would sleep with wonderful dreams tonight, because she could wake up to him she loved him, an she loved that she loved him more than anything else in her life… because he loved her back.