Keith Wheeler
This spoof contains information from the books Specter of the
past and Vision of the future by Timothy Zahn, therefor making
it somewhat of a Fanfic, But mostly comedy
Luke's head hurt. He groaned and got up looking around
the cell. He tried to put it all together again in his mind.
The aliens used the same trick Karrade used on Mykr. The...
Whatever those things are lured him into a trap, and had six
or seven of the force absorbing ysalamiri on their frames that
had blocked him from using his Jedi ablities. After all this
happened everything went black. The pain and stiffness he felt
told him what caused him to go out. a high power Stun blast,
ran through his mind.
Luke stood up and strode over to a pile of some thing on
the floor. It was so dark he couldn't quite see what it was
he was staring at.
Luke scratched his head, and noticed two rings on his
wrists, "Stun cuffs" he murmured. he shrugged and picked up
whatever he was analizing. Whatever it was it had a long shaft
with sort of a double fat rounded blunt part at each end.
"Oh well" he said to him self, "it will serve the task
at hand." He picked up the object again and held it like a Jedi
warrior would hold a shaft, and then started to commence his
Jedi back-scratching maneuvers.
The door opened and Luke got his first look at what he
was scratching his back with. it was a human leg bone. disgusted
he launched the bone across the cell, or at least he tried.
the stun cuffs snapped together as someone turned them on by
remote. Surprised he forgot to let go of the bone and it smacked
him in the face, causing him to yelp loudly, "ouch"
A creature wandered in with a nightstinger sniper blaster,
a boundy hunter coat, and a face only a mother could love.
"You the Luke Skywalker prisoner" the creature said, "You
put up a good fight back there." the creature paused for a long
time, "Well, reply prisoner Skywalker, or Ill vape you here
and now!"
"Uh," Luke said scrambling for a complement to give a
creature that doesn't have much to complement. "Nice boots?"
he tried.
"Fool Im not wearing any boots," the creature snapped,
"Im wearing Bears' feet slippers, they're very stylish now days."
"Can I get some," Luke tried crossing his fingers and moving
at the open door, "Ill just Run over to the local mall, and..."
"Not a Chance!" the creature snapped, "There is a three
month waiting list, and besides the primary counsel wants to
have a friendly word with you." the creature added leveling
his blaster at Luke, "Make haste, we must not keep them waiting.
March!"
* * *
As Luke and his new found companion (who's BO could knock
out a Krat dragon) marched down the corridor, people snickered
at Luke's ugly muddy Jedi boots. The creatures blaster must
be heavy because its muzzle was constantly rested between Luke's
shoulder blades.
"Have you ever actually shot any body with that?" Luke
asked trying to make light conversation
"Heck No!" The creature snapped, "I only have it be cause
they're loved by the fans of the Star Wars Books. Besides at
500 credits a round, and five rounds per energy tank making,
2500 credits, I don't have the money to shoot it." They finally
got to the door leading to the Primary Council. and slowly walked
in.
There was one person sitting at a huge desk with five
chairs. "Were is everyone" Luke blurted out."
A raspy voice responded, "Number four was out sick for
his shockball game with number two, so number one is filling
in, and number five is out for cleaning. Im number three. Take
a seat."
"Thank you very much" Luke said as he picked up the center
seat and started walking off, "It will go nicely with my
curtains."
"Silence" number three boomed, as Luke dropped the chair
and sat in it as fast as he could, "You Know what I mean" Luke
muttered an apology wishing one of his last ditch efforts would
work this time like they always did. "I have a question for
you Skywalker. You give me an answer and Ill give you.." Number
three scratched his head "Free Bear's feet slippers, I hear
there Stylish. So what do you think about that? well?"
"I don't think so," Luke said
"You defy me?" number three asked, "Well then if you don't
talk Ill starve you until you're crazed with hunger, then I
will feed you your last meal, Then I will feed you candy buns
with living parasites baked in them, and they will eat you from
the inside out. Then before you die I will chop you up and
personally feed you to the Feeze beetles."
"Why not just shoot me and get it over with," Luke
suggested, "Either way Im going to die."
"Guess you're right," number three said, "We will do that
instead, Now start talking and I might Still give you the
slippers. Now," Number three said drawing him self up to his
full intimidating height, "Why did you kill the Grand Admiral
Thrawn clone? What did it ever do to you? it was Helpless. It
didn't even complete its cloneing cycle for crying out loud!"
"Well," Luke stammered, "I was trying to save my self,
and my bride to be, Mara Jade."
"What about your Astromec," number three cut off, "Didn't
you want to save your R2 unit too?"
"Yes" Luke continued, "and I also wanted to save the galaxy
from another Thrawn. If he rose to power again, and at the
instability of the New Republic it would have been disastrous
"How do you know Thrawn two would have been bad?" number
three asked looking faintly triumphant
"He had flash learning for crying out loud." Luke said
annoyed.
"Ok that's all we wanted to know," Wedge said as he pulled
off the mask disguising him as the guard that escorted Luke.
"Yup" Karrade said pulling off his number three mask.
"You two are in for it now," Luke said really peeved, "You
kidnap me, and stick me in a cell, and for what?"
"We where ordered to by the New republic council," Wedge
protested "Oh well here are your slippers."
(The screen fades off with everyone laughing)
The
End
Wedge : Luke Karrade and I are going out for donuts. want
something?
Luke : Wait they haven't finished reading yet.
This spoof contains information from the books Specter of the
past and Vision of the future by Timothy Zahn, therefor making
it somewhat of a Fanfic, But mostly comedy
Luke's head hurt. He groaned and got up looking around
the cell. He tried to put it all together again in his mind.
The aliens used the same trick Karrade used on Mykr. The...
Whatever those things are lured him into a trap, and had six
or seven of the force absorbing ysalamiri on their frames that
had blocked him from using his Jedi ablities. After all this
happened everything went black. The pain and stiffness he felt
told him what caused him to go out. a high power Stun blast,
ran through his mind.
Luke stood up and strode over to a pile of some thing on
the floor. It was so dark he couldn't quite see what it was
he was staring at.
Luke scratched his head, and noticed two rings on his
wrists, "Stun cuffs" he murmured. he shrugged and picked up
whatever he was analizing. Whatever it was it had a long shaft
with sort of a double fat rounded blunt part at each end.
"Oh well" he said to him self, "it will serve the task
at hand." He picked up the object again and held it like a Jedi
warrior would hold a shaft, and then started to commence his
Jedi back-scratching maneuvers.
The door opened and Luke got his first look at what he
was scratching his back with. it was a human leg bone. disgusted
he launched the bone across the cell, or at least he tried.
the stun cuffs snapped together as someone turned them on by
remote. Surprised he forgot to let go of the bone and it smacked
him in the face, causing him to yelp loudly, "ouch"
A creature wandered in with a nightstinger sniper blaster,
a boundy hunter coat, and a face only a mother could love.
"You the Luke Skywalker prisoner" the creature said, "You
put up a good fight back there." the creature paused for a long
time, "Well, reply prisoner Skywalker, or Ill vape you here
and now!"
"Uh," Luke said scrambling for a complement to give a
creature that doesn't have much to complement. "Nice boots?"
he tried.
"Fool Im not wearing any boots," the creature snapped,
"Im wearing Bears' feet slippers, they're very stylish now days."
"Can I get some," Luke tried crossing his fingers and moving
at the open door, "Ill just Run over to the local mall, and..."
"Not a Chance!" the creature snapped, "There is a three
month waiting list, and besides the primary counsel wants to
have a friendly word with you." the creature added leveling
his blaster at Luke, "Make haste, we must not keep them waiting.
March!"
* * *
As Luke and his new found companion (who's BO could knock
out a Krat dragon) marched down the corridor, people snickered
at Luke's ugly muddy Jedi boots. The creatures blaster must
be heavy because its muzzle was constantly rested between Luke's
shoulder blades.
"Have you ever actually shot any body with that?" Luke
asked trying to make light conversation
"Heck No!" The creature snapped, "I only have it be cause
they're loved by the fans of the Star Wars Books. Besides at
500 credits a round, and five rounds per energy tank making,
2500 credits, I don't have the money to shoot it." They finally
got to the door leading to the Primary Council. and slowly walked
in.
There was one person sitting at a huge desk with five
chairs. "Were is everyone" Luke blurted out."
A raspy voice responded, "Number four was out sick for
his shockball game with number two, so number one is filling
in, and number five is out for cleaning. Im number three. Take
a seat."
"Thank you very much" Luke said as he picked up the center
seat and started walking off, "It will go nicely with my
curtains."
"Silence" number three boomed, as Luke dropped the chair
and sat in it as fast as he could, "You Know what I mean" Luke
muttered an apology wishing one of his last ditch efforts would
work this time like they always did. "I have a question for
you Skywalker. You give me an answer and Ill give you.." Number
three scratched his head "Free Bear's feet slippers, I hear
there Stylish. So what do you think about that? well?"
"I don't think so," Luke said
"You defy me?" number three asked, "Well then if you don't
talk Ill starve you until you're crazed with hunger, then I
will feed you your last meal, Then I will feed you candy buns
with living parasites baked in them, and they will eat you from
the inside out. Then before you die I will chop you up and
personally feed you to the Feeze beetles."
"Why not just shoot me and get it over with," Luke
suggested, "Either way Im going to die."
"Guess you're right," number three said, "We will do that
instead, Now start talking and I might Still give you the
slippers. Now," Number three said drawing him self up to his
full intimidating height, "Why did you kill the Grand Admiral
Thrawn clone? What did it ever do to you? it was Helpless. It
didn't even complete its cloneing cycle for crying out loud!"
"Well," Luke stammered, "I was trying to save my self,
and my bride to be, Mara Jade."
"What about your Astromec," number three cut off, "Didn't
you want to save your R2 unit too?"
"Yes" Luke continued, "and I also wanted to save the galaxy
from another Thrawn. If he rose to power again, and at the
instability of the New Republic it would have been disastrous
"How do you know Thrawn two would have been bad?" number
three asked looking faintly triumphant
"He had flash learning for crying out loud." Luke said
annoyed.
"Ok that's all we wanted to know," Wedge said as he pulled
off the mask disguising him as the guard that escorted Luke.
"Yup" Karrade said pulling off his number three mask.
"You two are in for it now," Luke said really peeved, "You
kidnap me, and stick me in a cell, and for what?"
"We where ordered to by the New republic council," Wedge
protested "Oh well here are your slippers."
(The screen fades off with everyone laughing)
The
End
Wedge : Luke Karrade and I are going out for donuts. want
something?
Luke : Wait they haven't finished reading yet.
