"Vendicare: Turn that Frown Upside Down!"

Disclaimer: I do no own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any characters within

A/N: this is my first non-poem fic. I hope you enjoy!

Bermuda had come upon the realization many years ago. What was the best way to torment complete nut cases with no morals. It had taken much thought and many discard plans. It wasn't until someone mentioned talk therapy that he had his epiphany. What was worse for a criminal mastermind than becoming a functioning, contributing member of society? Nothing. And so, Operation: TFUP was born. Bermuda and several other Vindice (with liberal mist flame application) became certified therapists. Not because they cared about the law, but because if they were going to reform insane criminals, they were going to do it right, damnit!

His first victi- I mean, patient, was a criminally insane man of 29. He approached the man with a proposition: The inmate allowed them to practice all their therapy techniques on him, and he got two years shaved off his sentence. The guy jumped at the opportunity. After all, he was incorrigible. 'Therapy' wouldn't make a difference.

He should have realized that the Vindice was merciless. They never skimped on punishments. 6 years later, he didn't want to commit any non-mafia approved crimes because morals! Also, he had a severe phobia of emotion wheels, but that is neither here nor there. Bermuda cackled in glee.

Mukuro could deal with pain. He had been experimented on, after all. He knew starvation, dehydration. Physical ailments hardly phased him. Phycological torture he dismissed out of hand. He was already to broken for that to work. What he didn't count on was that the Vindice had been dealing with nut cases like him for years.

"Mukuro!" Bermuda's voice floated into his cell.

Said inmate didn't respond. Then, his head was forced up and he blinked in confusion at the piece of paper that was thrust in front of his face. It appeared to be a list of some sort. He squinted. No, he was not hallucinating, that was a list of feeling words. If Mukuro were a lesser man, he would have gagged. As it was, he sneered in disgust.

"Oh, don't give me that look," Bermuda smirked, out of sight, "It is time to share our feelings!"

Mukuro was decidedly unimpressed. He glared at the direction the Baby Vindice's voice was coming from.

"Ooooh, you are going to be a tough nut to crack, aren't you?" Bermuda murmured to himself, "That's alright. I like a challenge."

6, excruciating months later, Tsuna retrieved Mukuro.

"TSUNA!' Mukuro yelled, almost sobbing with relief.

"You're finally here. I almost gave in. you saved me. Unbelievable tortures. Oh, god. The wheels!" Mukuro dissolved into incoherent babbling.

Tsuna looked both confused and enraged. He turned to Bermuda, "What did you DO to him?"

Bermuda merely smirked, "Aren't you demanding, Tsunayoshi?"

He suddenly got in Tsuna's personal space, glaring.

"HIEEE!" Tsuna scrambled back.

He hightailed it out of there, a hysterical pineapple-headed guardian being dragged on the floor after him. Bermuda smiled smugly.

The End

A/N: I am aware the characters are OOC. Do you really think cannon! Bermuda would be a therapist? Also, this is really different (in more ways than one) from my usual stuff. I hope you guys liked it.