Of course it was raining.
Her heart was breaking, shattering into pieces as she watched Robin and Starfire kiss. She didn't say anything, couldn't say anything, couldn't react or move or look away as her body became numb, her chest tightening as she her breath caught in her throat while she stared in shock.
What had happened? He'd been looking at her. They'd smiled at each other; the both of them glad to have survived the fight against the mountainous monster. Then Robin had just turned away, running to Starfire and helping her up. That was perfectly normal; they were friends and teammates, so of course he'd want to make sure they were all okay before they started celebrating.
And then they'd just started to kiss, out of nowhere. At first she thought maybe she had been knocked out during the battle and was having some kind of a nightmare, but then they stood up, holding hands and walking over to her, whilst Beastboy and Cyborg cheered, saying it was about time and how they were happy that Robin had finally manned up. She didn't say anything, wasn't sure what to say or how to react to reach to the man she loved getting together with her friend in front of her.
She nodded when the two looked at her, turning around and putting her hood over her head. She couldn't face them right now, unsure whether to be happy or angry. Right now, she was just confused. Her emotions were in turmoil, and they were threatening to break free. It wasn't easy to try bottling them up, to keep them under control now that she was hurt like this. It had never been easy to keep them under control when she was around Robin before, but now?
The rain continued to pour, soaking her cloak and chilling her to the bone. She didn't summon a shadow-raven to use as a magical umbrella. She didn't care.
She didn't care about anything right now. Didn't care that they had won, that they were safe or that she was drenched in the icy rain or that the others were waiting for her to catch up while she was lost in thought. She didn't care that they were confused when she turned around and told them that she would catch up before walking in the opposite direction. She didn't care where she was going or where she would end up.
All she wanted to do was wake up from this horrible dream. This nightmare, the thing she feared more than her father or herself or anything they'd ever come up against or would ever come against in the future had bled into reality.
Robin had fallen for another.
As she walked through the streets, the rain continued to pour and lightning lit up the sky. Of course it's raining, she thought. It always rained in sad moments like this, in her books or the movies and TV shows that she'd watched alongside the others. It was a cliche, one that fit the situation perfectly. Her heart had broken, she didn't know how to feel, and the shitty weather was just adding to her growing… hatred? Confusion? She didn't know what to feel or think right now.
She walked around for a few more hours, until her communicator beeped.
"Raven, you coming back sometime soon?"
Of course it would be him. Sighing, she clicked the communicator and replied. "Yes, I'll be back soon."
~!~
Raven didn't get much sleep that night. She spent a long time meditating after seeing Robin and Starfire cuddled against one another as they slept. Raven wondered if this was going to become a consistent thing, now that they were together. She thought about how she'd have to deal with seeing them together, Robin treating Starfire the way Raven wanted him to her.
Closing her eyes and crossing her legs beneath her as she started meditating, Raven felt the dull ache in her chest start to recede as she sealed off her emotions. It wasn't easy getting them under wraps. Anger was threatening to break loose completely, whilst Wisdom was trying to convince her to accept it and pointing out they she and Robin were never officially an item. Happy was just being quiet, staring blankly ahead. Bravery was on Anger's side, telling her to pick a fight with Starfire, while Timid was sobbing quietly on the ground. Jealousy was outraged, probably more so than Anger was, ranting about how it should've been her Robin had kissed and fallen asleep next to.
It took far too long to control her emotions again. Raven couldn't remember the last time it had take hours upon hours to put herself back in control. Sure, it took an hour or two everyday, but it had never take most of the night with this much difficulty. It had been years since she this close to losing control completely. Eventually, she got them all to settle down and took control. She fell asleep a few minutes later, exhausted physically from the fighting and emotionally from the whole ordeal that came afterwards.
~!~
The next day, they were being honoured as international heroes by the police chief. Raven was in control of herself enough not to be bothered when Robin and Starfire held hands. They were given medals, but throughout the celebration Raven hadn't really been paying much attention. Her gaze was fixed on the distance, staring at something no one else could see.
Eventually, the party had ended and they were on their way back home.
The journey by T-Ship across the Pacific was several hours, which worked well for Raven. It gave her plenty of time to think without the possibility of someone coming into her section of the ship and bothering her.
"Maybe this is just how it was supposed to be." Raven wasn't in Nevermore. She was simply thinking to herself, listening to some music while she kept her eyes closed. "If he's happy with her, then I should be happy for them. Robin's made his decision, whether I like it or not. Who he spends his time with is his business." Sighing deeply, Raven shifted so she could try and nap on the long journey back home.
~!~
"Raven, we're home!"
Cyborg's voice woke Raven from her slumber, and she groaned as she unlatched the safety harness and stood up. The pod had opened, and before her stood the familiar enormous T that had become her home.
"Starfire, what are you- whoa!"
"Come, my lover! We have much to prepare for now that…" Starfire's voice trailed off as she picked up Robin from his pod and carried him to the roof. Raven watched them go, her hands clenching into fists as Robin's laughter echoed down on them.
There was a tap on her shoulder, and Raven turned to see Beastboy giving her an odd look. "Everything okay?" He asked.
Raven gave a curt nod, walking past him and pushing open the door to the tower. "Peachy." She muttered, not bothering to turn around when Beastboy called after her. She was fulling intending on going to her room and meditating until her emotions were non-existent. Not to mention their rooms were sound proof, so she wouldn't have to listen to the lovebirds laughing and flirting unless they chose to do so right outside her room.
She lit a few candles and closed the curtains, sitting and going into a meditative trance. Once in Nevermore, Raven watched her emotions argue and bicker amongst themselves while she tried coming up with a plan.
"We can't stand for this!" A few emotions cried out.
"We don't have a choice." Some others replied.
Sighing, Raven listened as her inner turmoil played out on repeat over and over again. Wisdom came and stood next to her, watching with a passive disinterest in the commotion. After a few minutes, Wisdom turned to her and asked, "This isn't going to be easy, is it?"
Raven shook her head. "No, it's not."
