Harry: Ron, you awake?
Harry: ...
Harry: Ron!
Ron: Merlin's beard, Harry! Don't scare me awake.
Harry: Heh, sorry. Talk to me, you dickhead.
Ron: Nah, I'd rather sleep.
Harry: I'll tell people about that time you shat yourself when you was 9.
Ron: I told you that in confidence, you prick!
Harry: And I will tell others in confidence.
Ron: Fine! But you owe me about 100 galleons worth of Honeydukes.
Harry: Yeah, whatever. I can't wait until the end of this year. We'll be in 6th and won't have to be in this lesson anymore.
Ron: To be honest, we could leave and never come back. Binns wouldn't even notice.
Harry: Yeah we could, but McGonagall would be on to us in a flash.
Ron: True... do you reckon Binns can even hear or see us?
Harry: I think he's trained himself to not notice anything unless it speaks directly to him.
Ron: Remember his face in 2nd year when Hermione asked him about the Chamber of Secrets?
Harry: Oh yeah! Like he'd seen a ghost or something.
Ron: ... what? He is a ghost.
Harry: I guess that made more sense in my head.
Ron: Obviously. Yeah but he looked like he'd never seen students before. That was probably the first question he's been asked in his whole career.
Harry: Why is he still here anyway?
Ron: I guess there's nowhere else for him to float about.
Harry: ... Ron.
Ron: What?
Harry: You know that bitch Cho?
Ron: Yeah I know that bitch Cho.
Harry: I caught her staring at me during lunch.
Ron: What? Why?
Harry: Does it look like I know? She pissed me off man, going off like that just 'cause I mentioned Hermione once or twice. Everyone knows that there is nothing but friendship between me and Hermione.
Ron: I guess Chang is just the jealous type. I always knew there was something wrong with her ever since I saw that Tornadoes badge. Bad egg, I tell you.
Harry: She was giving me those eyes.
Ron: Those eyes?
Harry: Yeah, those eyes.
Ron: Do you expect me to know what the fuck you mean by 'those eyes'?
Harry: I mean those eyes she has when she's about to cry. I refuse to feel bad for her. So what if she's upset? All those fucking times she cried to me about loving Cedric and all that shit whilst we were supposed to be trying this dating thing and I said nothing. But the one time I mention Hermione and she turns into an enraged cow.
Ron: I feel you.
Harry: I don't want to be insensitive about Cedric and all but come on! She's been stringing me on when in reality she doesn't give a shit about me. She just wants me to be her shoulder to cry on.
Hermione: Harry you are being insensitive.
Ron: Where the bloody hell did you come from?
Hermione: Hello to you too.
Ron: Shouldn't you be writing notes so that we can copy off you?
Hermione: I charmed my quill to write what Binns says on its own. And anyway, Harry! How can you say that?
Harry: Say what? I didn't say anything bad.
Hermione: So calling Cho a 'bitch' isn't bad?
Ron: Not when she's been acting like one.
Hermione: Keep talking rubbish and I'll kill you in your sleep Ronald Weasley.
Ron: Alright, chill.
Harry: Ron's right. How do you expect me to deal with her shit 24/7? Am I her personal counsellor?
Hermione: Well... No. But I think you should apologise to her for mentioning me so much.
Harry: What? All I said was that I needed to meet you, where's the harm in that?
Hermione: The harm, you idiot, is in the fact that you said this while you two were on a date! And you didn't even say that I'm an ugly annoying bushy haired smartarse or something.
Harry: Why would I say that?!
Ron: Why would Harry say that?!
Harry: Innit!
Hermione: You boys are so stupid! You don't have to mean it! You obviously made Cho feel insecure by mentioning me as it looked as if you felt that meeting me was more important that being with her.
Harry: Well it was.
Hermione: You're unbelievable.
Ron: Oi, look up.
Hermione: Ew.
Harry: The fuck is Malfoy looking at?
Ron: Looks like him and the two gorillas behind him are looking at us. D'you reckon we could fuck them up without Binns noticing?
Harry: Yeah.,
Hermione: You could get into trouble because of that!
Harry: We could get in trouble if this was McGonagall's class... or Snape's.
Ron: But this is Binns we're talking about. I reckon we could throw a couple heavy blows and he wouldn't even realise.
Hermione: No. Just ignore them. There's no need for violence.
Harry: Says the person who tried to break Malfoy's face.
Hermione: That's different! He crossed the line talking about Hagrid in that way!
Ron: He's crossing the line by staring at us, the fucking mug. Harry, come let's knock him out. I guess we might get a detention but then you'd get to miss Occlumency with Snape.
Harry: Oh shit, yes I would!
Hermione: AND YOU SAY I NEED TO SORT OUT MY PRIORITIES?! HARRY NEEDS OCCLUMENCY, YOU IMBECILE!
