Prompt: Relations
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age.
Nathaniel Howe thought that Fergus Cousland could probably stand to be a bit less put-out to see him under the circumstances.
"I might have known you'd be involved," Fergus said bitterly, glaring at him. His guards were dead and his clothes were torn but he didn't seem to notice any of that.
"I hardly think that saving you from bandits counts as being involved in said bandits' attack, Teyrn," Nathaniel responded evenly. Once he and Fergus had been friends but once he had had a father and Fergus had had parents. Once he had had a brother and Fergus a wife and child. Now everyone was dead and he had been conscripted into the Grey Wardens for plotting to kill Fergus's sister who had slain his own father while Fergus was on record saying that he didn't think Nathaniel would have the stones to return to Ferelden. Well Anastasia Theirin was still alive and here Nathaniel was.
"You could have easily staged the attack in order to try and get into my good graces," Fergus claimed.
Nathaniel sighed. "Please, Teyrn. Using bandits isn't really my style."
"No, I suppose that when you attempted to murder my only living family – and so finish the job that your father started – you did work alone," Fergus conceded.
Nathaniel concealed a wince. That had really not been one of his finer moments, he had to admit. "I was operating under faulty information," he said smoothly. "And even before I learned the truth I decided not to attack her. I was arrested for trespassing in my former home not for making an attempt on Anastasia's life."
Fergus frowned deeply, a sure sign that he felt that Nathaniel had a point. "You should never have come back here regardless."
"And why not?" Nathaniel challenged. "Because of what my father did?"
"Yes because of what your father did," Fergus exclaimed. "He was a monster and he tried to destroy everything. He killed my family, he sent assassins after my sister, he sold Ferelden natives into slavery, he tortured nobles, he kidnapped Templars-"
"I get it," Nathaniel cut him off, unwilling to hear more. "I really do. I have come to accept that my father, at least in recent years, was not a good man. I have come to accept that he greatly wronged all of Ferelden and your family in particular. I am not him, Fergus."
Fergus started slightly at the unexpected invocation of his given name. "You look like him. You're his son. You carry his name."
"I'm not him," Nathaniel repeated.
Fergus closed his eyes. "I…I do know that. Intellectually. Just the same, you're father killed my family. How am I supposed to get over it? I went away to Ostagar and our fathers were supposed to come the following day. My mother was supposed to be safe at Lady Landra's Denerim estate and my little sister was supposed to try her hand at running the castle while Oren and Oriana stayed there with her. I never made it to the battle, I was imprisoned by Chasind for nearly a year, and then when I finally did escape I found only your father's men at my home. Again, I ask you: how am I supposed to get over it?"
Nathaniel was quiet for a moment as he desperately tried to come up with some sort of answer for his former friend. "I don't know," he said at last. "Anastasia's managed it and I've forgiven her for her part in destroying my family."
Fergus snorted. "Well, that's Anastasia. She's always been a bit off. And what do you have to forgive? Your father brought everything on himself and from what I've heard of what happened, her killing him actually had very little to do with vengeance and was more of a necessity."
"He was still my father," Nathaniel said mildly. "Look, I don't have all the answers. I wish I did as it would make this – and everything – much easier but the fact remains that our families were friends, that my father killed your family, that your sister killed my father. My brother died in the war as well and my sister refuses to acknowledge where she came from. The Howes no longer have an Arling but you've not only reclaimed Highever but Anastasia is the Queen of Ferelden and Teyrna of Gwaren in addition to having taken temporary control of Amaranthine. I've lost a lot as well and I don't mean to get into a petty argument about who has had it worse. The point is that some things can't be changed and we've got to find a way to live with them."
Fergus was silent for a long moment. Eventually, he asked, "Do you really regret what happened to my family?"
"Every day since I heard that they were dead," Nathaniel admitted. "Even when I was under the impression that they were traitors to the Crown and even more now that I know that that wasn't the case. And why wouldn't I be? We were friends."
"That was a long time ago," Fergus said ruefully. "Sad as it is, this is the first time that I've seen you since you left for the Free Marches a decade ago."
"I didn't hear from you often given how far away I was," Nathaniel told him. "I heard from my father less. I had no idea and you can't possibly believe that I would have supported it had I known."
Fergus looked a little wistful. "I don't know. Ten years is an awfully long time. You left just after the birth of my son."
"Father wanted me to leave earlier but I didn't want to miss that," Nathaniel said softly.
Fergus shook his head as if to clear away the memories. "Ten years is a long time," he repeated. "Just the same…you saved my life today. As Teyrn and the brother of Ferelden's other Teyrna and Queen, that's probably worth something. I'm beginning to feel a little foolish just standing around in the middle of the road after a bandit attack so I think we should get into town. Then we can…talk. I'm honor-bound to repay you for this, you know."
Nathaniel nodded. It was actually more than he'd expected. Being a Howe in a country that still had a long way to go before they could forget the sins of his father, he would have expected – at best – a curt thank you and maybe a pouch full of sovereigns. Regardless of what had happened between their families since the beginning of the last Blight, Fergus had once been a friend and he had hated to lose that. "I didn't do it for that."
Fergus' eyes flickered. "I know."
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