Disclaimer: All characters belong to Tite Kubo – I only own the storyline.

Summary: No one knew how much Gin Ichimaru loved Rangiku… not her, and not even himself, until the moment the sword ripped through her chest and she was separated from him…

Warning - although this first chapter may seem to be an opening to a very mushy love/romance fic - this fic is not since I utterly FAIL at romance, so basically this story is going to turn really weird right about chapter 5 or 6 D (why I am saying this? I just think I should give people warnings so they can't complain about anything and I just want to make things clear)


Chapter 1 – Death and Guilt


His eyes flew open in shock, his smirk wiped clean off his face. His blood red eyes were filled with fear and his mind yelled and shrieked for his Zanpakuto to stop. Stop! Stop! No! Too late… the sword-stopped inches before it's target… but hit another target instead. Gin dropped is sword as it began to shrink back to original size and ran to the fallen body of Rangiku Matsumoto, he yelled her name, his voice pleading, yelling. The Gin now and the Gin before looked entirely different… instead of the usual fox-like face, he now looked like a normal, pain-stricken man, yelling out the name of his loved one.

"Rangiku! Rangiku! Why? WHY!" He yelled, cradling her body, using his kido to hopefully heal her… hopefully. He paid no attention to whatever was around him, only to the lifeless body of the one person he ever cared for… the one person he ever needed in his life.

"G-… Gin…" her voice was weak, her eyes glaze, a small pained smirk lined her face… she raised her hand feebly but before Gin could grab it…. It dropped like a stone and her eyes closed.

"Rangiku!" Ichimaru called again, why did she have to say her name… couldn't she have said something else? Why did she have to say anything at all… why? Heal damn it! HEAL! The thought flashed through his head like an alarm… but it was too late. She was gone, and he knew it.

Hitsugaya Toushiro, the intended target of Gin's Shinso stood silent in shock… Rangiku had blocked the hit intended for him. Why? The young captain stood in shock and when he realized what happened he gripped his sword, Hyorinmaru, in attempt to kill Ichimaru… but when he saw the man before his eyes, pity swarmed his mind. It hit him then that no matter how much he grieved Matusomoto's death… he, Ichimaru Gin, would grieve ten times more. Hitsugaya dropped his sword and stood silent, members of the 4th division arrived along with Unohana Taichou and Isana Fukataichou.

"Oh my…" Isane whispers, her captain remains silent; the members of the 4th division all remain silent and stand behind their captain, unsure of what to do. No one liked Gin much and they felt little pity for him … but the two taichou and Isane all felt pity for the poor man.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"WHY! WHY!" His shouts could be heard all through the 4th division quarters, he waved Shinso around, extended, slicing everything in its path. Quarters and buildings fell, people ducked to avoid the swinging sword, Gin seemed half crazed. Many thought the man was scary when his eyes were closed… but now that they were open, they were even more afraid, the blood red pupils radiated anger and blood lust.

"Ichimaru Taichou, could you please stop destroying the area… my division is quite scared," Unohana said, smiling… radiating a very frightening aura that sent most people of the 4th division scurrying away. But Gin stayed put, his anger pulsing, Shinso had shrunk again and was held loosely, pointed at the ground.

"You coulda come earlier you know…" His eyes were closed and a large smile was splattered on his face, he raised up Shinso and was about to released, when his eyes flew open in anger at Unohana's next words.

"You pierced her heart, it is a miracle she managed to say your name, let alone raise her arm, she should've died the moment she fell onto the ground," Unohana said calmly, still smiling, yet still radiating that frightening aura. The 4th division courtyard, and everywhere around it was empty and broken. Not even Isane was around, even though she normally stuck by her captain like glue.

"So you're saying it's my fault? MINE?" Gin roared, his eyes open again, his normal mocking voice was gone… his Kyoto dialect was also gone. The way Gin spoke now was like any other man… (I don't know how to explain it well, sorry. x-x")

"I didn't say that, I was actually implying that even if we made it on time she would've died anyways," Unohana replied calmly. Gin would've spoke but members of the 1st Division led by Captain Commander Yamamoto arrived to escort the half-crazed shinigami captain away.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"We feel your rage and sadness Ichimaru Taichou, but we cannot have you destroying a whole division, we are confi-!" Yamamoto was cut off.

"I quit," Gin said, his eyes were serious, open and his voice was still the same deep as it was when he was talking with Unohana. Yamamoto and his lieutenant seemed quite un-fazed by this change of tone, but many others who heard it stopped in shock, thinking their ears had gone wrong.

"Excuse me?" Yamamoto Taichou said.

"I said… I quit," Gin replied, his eyes flashing, as if daring the old man to stop him.

"We do not-," Again the Captain Commander was cut off.

"I don't care, I quit!" Gin said, and then he stood up and left.

"Should we let him Taichou?" asked Sasakibe fukataichou.

"Return him here, alert the captains…" Sasakiba nodded and left to alert the captains to guard the gate and return Ichimaru Gin.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The door opened tantalizingly slowly, Gin knew that captains were flying at him right this moment, why couldn't the door open faster.

"Stop!" Hitsugaya called out, landing just in front of Gin. It took a moment for the man to turn around, but that's because it took along time for him to close his eyes and smile… smiling seemed beyond Ichimaru, he couldn't smile… it was too hard. How could he smile? But smile he did, a fake smile... but who could tell? Gin never truly smiled unless he was with Matsumoto...

Hitsugaya glared at the normal face of Ichimaru Gin, the slit like eyes and the wide smirk. "Where are you going?" Hitsugaya asked, gripping Hyorinmaru tightly.

"T' the real world ya know? Gotta find her," Gin replied casually in the mocking Kyoto dialect of his, but the pain and the meaning behind those words were much more serious.

"What will you do when you find her?" Hitsugaya replied, Ukitate and Kyoraku arrived, it seems not many captains were bothering to stop Gin.

"…Live with her…" Gin replied, looking down at the ground, his mocking, Kyoto dialect was gone… he now adopted the deep pained voice he used when speaking to Yamamoto Taichou.

"Will she remember you?" Hitsugaya asked.

"…When you get re-born… it is said that you always love the same thing and whatever you loved the most, you will remember sub-consciously… so if you died now, you would subconsciously have dreams of Soul Society and the people you were friends with and loved until about the age of 5 or 6. If Gin meets Rangiku when she is still remembering of these events, she might remember some things…" Komamura said, apparently he also decided to come.

"We won't stop you," Ukitate said, coughing slightly. "Go!" Kyoraku added in, smirking slightly, "Good luck!" he added in.

"Luck… " Gin did a wry smirk, unlike the normal mocking smirks he did, this was smaller and filled more with pain. "I don't have much…" were his last words to the people of Soul Society before turning and entering the gate towards the real world.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Matsumoto! You have a new healthy baby daughter!" a nurse said to a young couple in Karakura hospital.

"What should we name our new baby dear?" Mrs. Matsumoto said.

"Hmm… how about after my great-great grandmother Rangiku, her birthday was today, September 29th," the man replied.

"Matsumoto it is…" and the baby giggled...

I always just imagined Gin and Toshiro would be fighting... and right when Gin was about to stab Hitsugaya, Matusmoto would take the blow... I could just imagine it in my head right now. And I always liked how Gin looked with his eyes open, he seemed much more serious and older, so much more mature... and then I just fit in a deep guy-like voice (can't describe it... o.o)and there you have it - the Ichimaru Gin which I have created in my story.

I know he's REALLY OOC - like entirely... but... haha, sorry about that. My first Bleach fic - don't know if it's any good, but this is the first time in along time which I've been so enthusiastic about a story D

Hope you like


-Bye-

Griƒƒen