Dwindling Failure

by MorphManiac

"It isn't failure, she tells herself. It isn't failure to be in these rooms, in your skin, cutting the stems of flowers. It isn't failure but it requires more of you, the whole effort does; just being present and grateful; being happy (terrible word)." -The Hours, page 94, American paperback version.

I loved her.

I suppose that's incorrect now-I still love her, but. . .she's not exactly capable of returning the feeling. Not that she ever noticed me in the first place.

I can understand why-I was but a backstage performer, what interest would the star have in me? Although-and I laugh at this thought, morbid as it is-perhaps only seeing me when you're indisposed might have something to do with it. But I still cared-watched her, protected her . . .

. . . and most of all, loved her.

Not the love Christian had for her, nay, nor that of the Duke, but more the more of a guardian angel; I daresay I was her Savior. I picked her up when she had fallen as a child; I saved her from that fight; and I was the first to discover the bloody handkerchiefs.

It kills me inside that I never told him. I was always a bit frightened of the man, though perhaps it was more my childhood fears that provoked it. I did not tell him, make no mistake-but I did everything in my power to inform him.

There was no way to stop the disease, I knew, but it didn't seem that way. I knew there had to be some cure, some unknown lifesaver that I could give . . . but no. I had worked my whole life protecting her, and this time I could not save her.

They said to protect her, and I said I understood . . . but I have failed.

Finite.

[A/N: I wrote this within 24 hours of watching Moulin Rouge for the first time. Can you figure out which character is the narrator? I'll give you a hint: he's got but one line. Please review! I may try to work on some of my other stories this weekend, since History Day is finally over!]

[A/N 2: Moulin Rouge belongs to someone. I am not someone. Therefore, I don't own Moulin Rouge.]

[Thanks and dedication: The two people who read this before I posted it, mainly Callingyoume and Suzy Q. Please, don't kill me.]