Disclaimer: I do not own Evil Dead, any of its sequels, or characters. They belong to the brilliant Sam Raimi. I do own my original characters and the plot. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: I started writing this story back in 2004 so I really don't know where I'm going with it anymore right now. But I'm going to post what I have so far and then go from there depending on how well received it is. The italicized bits are thoughts. Please leave feedback and if you are going to criticize, please be sure that it is constructive! And enjoy!


Chapter one: Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart

"Isle Twelve- house wares," said a tall man with black hair, chiseled good looks, and a cleft chin.

"Thank you," said an elderly woman.

"Remember…" he said and the woman turned around. "Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart." She gave a slight smile then walked towards isle twelve. "Hag," mumbled the man once she was out of earshot.

Just then another young man with dirty blonde hair came up to the one with black hair. "Ash…" 'Dirty Blonde' addressed 'Black Hair' panting. Ash raised his eyebrow in response. "Guess who just came into the store."

"I don't know, Ted. Who?" Ash asked as he grabbed a nearby mop with his metal, right hand. He began to mop up a green slushy a young boy spilled earlier.

"You're supposed to guess. That's why I said 'guess'," Ted replied in a somewhat of a whiny voice.

"Just tell me Kid," Ash said in a glum yet annoyed voice as he continued to mop up the spill. Ted was alright on most days but recently he just got on Ash's last nerve. Ted was one of the only people that worked at S-Mart that didn't make fun of him, so he was alright in his book. It's hard for people to take you seriously when you say that you went back to medieval times and saved a kingdom from an army of deadites and then they wanted to make you their king.

"Your girlfriend."

At those two words Ash's eyes lit up. "Riley's here?"

Ted nodded his head. Ash straightened out his smock and ran a hand through his hair. His normally cocky demeanor disappeared when it came to Riley. She just made him feel something a woman has never made him feel before- nervous.

"So are you actually going to ask her out today?"

"I don't know. I haven't decided yet," Ash answered as he set the mop against the counter.

"Well you better decide quickly because she is heading this way…" Ted warned as he motioned his head towards the beautiful young woman with long ginger hair and lapis lazuli eyes that was heading their way.

Ash froze up and then began acting like he was working. "Don't just stand there," Ash said with a touch of panic in his voice. "At least act like you're working."

"That's what I always do man. Besides, you should calm down. You're not like this with any other girl."

"Riley Phelps is not just any other girl."

"How would you know? You have barely said two sentences to her. Why don't you reach under your skirt, grab your balls, and talk to the girl already. I mean what if you got zapped back to dinosaur times tomorrow and never get to see her again?"

"Shut up, Ted. That really happened. And you wonder why I don't want to approach her. Because she'll probably mock me like everyone else here."

"Just talk to her…" Ted said as Riley passed them. Ted watched Ash to see if he was going to talk. His mouth remained shut. "Hey Riley," Ted said.

Riley stopped walking and turned around. "Hey Ted," she said and then looked to Ash. She smiled at him and said, "Hi Ash."

"H-hi Riley. Can I…we help you find anything today?" Ash asked nervously.

"No. I'm just heading back to the photo center to pick up a few rolls of film. But if I think of anything, you'll be the one I go to," Riley added with a flirty smile before she walked away.

"See man," Ted said elbowing Ash in the side. "She totally digs you. She wasn't just saying that stuff for nothing or she would have said something about me. But no. IT was all about you."

"Maybe you're right…"

Just then a bloodcurdling scream came from the back of S-Mart.