South Park, Colorado, American States of America, XX97
"And that's why California is a Polish Colony now." Cartman says.
"But where's the fucking setup?" Stan asks.
"What setup?" Cartman responds, oblivious to how comedy works. "It doesn't need a setup, idiot! It just works on it's on!"
"Listen, dickfuck: proper comedy needs both setup and punchline." Kyle ejaculates, Gay 90's style. "If you skip one of these, then the joke would not work at all. It would loose all it's potential to be funny."
"Shut the fuck up! You know nothing about comedy you fucking Jew! It's funny, because that fucking event is so absurd it's ridiculous, and that means funny, so shut the fuck up!"
And Kyle did indeed shut the fuck up. And they walked from school to home… until Butters came out of nowhere screaming and pissing off everybody as usual.
"GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYS!"
"WHAT?" Kids asked. In Unison.
"WER'E DOOMED! THE POLLACKS ARE INCOMING!"
"See? I told you it was funny!" Cartman missed the point so hard Kyle facepalmed.
"They're going to kill all non-slavs and non-hungarians, and non-some-people-polish-also-like! THEY ALREADY SEIZED ENGLAND!"
"Cut the bullshit, Butters! They suck… at… warfare…" Stan was trying to aknowledge Butters that Polish are not something to be afraid off.
But then the herd of ugly fucking reds arrived in Colorado. It was them. The Polish Nationalists. That came from California. They all wore Polish "Patriotic" clothing and catholic beads with a cross. Some of them had giant Polish Flags. Polish Nationalists were armed with baseball bats, and hussar wings. They were chanting their battle cries:
"POLSKA! BIAŁO CZERWONI!"
"MIĘDZYMORZE TO NIE BAJKA!"
"NIECH ŻYJE KRUL KORWIN!"
„ZABIĆ ŻYDÓW, CIAPATYCH, KOLOROWYCH, PEDAŁÓW I LEWAKÓW!"
„POLSKI PATRIOTYZM NIE MA NIC WSPÓLNEGO Z FASZYZMEM CZY NAZIZMEM!"
„POLAK WĘGIER DWA BRATANKI!"
„ŚMIERĆ IMIGRANTOM!"
„KOMUNIZM NIE PRZEJDZIE!"
„NIE PIJ COLI BO CIĘ ROZPIERDOLI!"
„THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!"
Then they charged right at the boys and killed Kenny.
"OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!"
"..."
"I said: OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!"
"..."
"GODDAMNIT KYLE, JUST SAY IT FOR FUCKS SAKE!"
"You bastards. Happy now?"
"THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO SAY STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS!" Cartman suddenly got a bit wiser "WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!"
And the boys run (except Kenny who is dead). And they run. You get the idea.
And they ran into a Time Machine, which stands in here for no reason whatsoever.
"Perfect!" Cartman was pretty happy. "A plot device pulled right out of the actor's ass!" Kyle, Stan, Butters and Cartman enter the time machine and go back to 1936 to fix WWII.
BUT WILL THEY SUCCEED? WHAT ADVENTURES AWAIT THEM?
Nobody knows. And nobody cares. Whatever, just read the fucking chapter 2.
