A/N: I actually wrote this quite some time ago. This doesn't take place in pre-existing kakeras, and I was kind of hesitant about ratings, because the actual gore is simply implied. Ah, well. This was my first Higurashi fic, or any fic in general, that takes place within a singular person's mind. I hope you can still manage to enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Higurashi, the characters involved, or any other pre-existing form of fiction. The only thing I own is the actual story.
STOP.
This horrible, nagging thought, this singular word, refused to leave my mind. Wasn't my subconscious smart enough to realize that I couldn't; to know that no matter how much I didn't want to, I had to carry out this task? Should I cease this action, Oyashiro-sama would be displeased. The task at hand was my key to forgiveness. To have this done and over with would mean that extra footstep behind me would dissipate. No longer would I stop suddenly, only to have my whole body jolt at the sound of a singular, extra step. I would be free, forgiven, and happy once more.
What about your friends?
I sighed in displeasure. They would understand, for they knew how dangerous Oyashiro-sama's power truly was. They knew…they'd understand…at least, that's how I induced myself. Oyashiro-sama chastised those who defied him, who openly disobeyed him, whether they had a say in the act or not. You…you had to redeem yourself or else face strenuous torture that lasted until your mental stability cracked, until you couldn't stand the sight of yourself, until-!
No. No. These thoughts were not my own. Oyashiro-sama...was influencing my mind. I was so far in without seeking redemption for my actions, Oyashiro-sama had the ability to take my thoughts and twist them to its pleasure. A wave of reassurance crashed through my mind, taking my troubled train of thought into the abyss of forgotten sorrow. I gripped the wooden handle of the cleaver, squeezing its sleek, sturdy surface with a steady determination. One task to perform, one person to wipe out in the name of my deity. This was for the best, no matter whose judgments tried to interfere.
Ryugu Reina, this is taking entirely too long.
I froze. Direct contact from my deity…it truly meant that this task meant an immense amount to it. I was honored, of course, but I could not hold back the fear that pulsated through my veins and caused my head to spin. Every hair on my body stood up, my arms were invaded an army of goose bumps…my blood gushed through my veins….my veins…they were becoming entirely too…itchy.
"N-no…" my voice wavered. I could not keep my voice inside me any longer. In a small whisper, I continued, "Please, Oyashiro, I promise it will be over quickly."
Though I heavily believed in this spirit, I was strikingly alarmed as the itching sensation faded. Surely this was a work of the imagination. It didn't matter, I decided, looking down the endless hall, pure determination pulsing through me. It was narrow, wooden on all sides, a singular door, my destination, lonely at the end of the hall. If it could speak, I was sure it would tell me of its pain, its loneliness, how Oyashiro-sama was growing impatient.
…What?
I gulped, my eyes widening. Please, no. I'll go. I promise. Please, Oyashiro, have mercy. I apologize. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Stop. Just do it. No apologizing. Do it now. Now.
I nodded, feeling a longing for this I had never experienced before. I took a soft step forward, the floor soundless beneath my bare feet. So far so good. Just keep moving, Rena. You can do it. Believe in yourself. Another successful step forward. I smirked; I knew I was better safe than sorry, but there was this feeling tugging on my sensibility, telling me that I truly was impatient, no matter how far deep in denial I could find myself. Again I stepped forward, filling with a sense of pride as I felt Oyashiro cheer me on. Nearly laughing, I took a prideful step forward.
Creak.
My breath caught, and my stomach did back flips. My eyes clung to the sight of the door that lay ahead, not blinking. I held fast to the hope that the door would not swing open, that my sacrifice-to-be would not discover my dreadful intentions and make this more complicated than it had to be. Frozen, I watched. Each second ticked by as if it were an hour. I could feel the tension will up within me, sweat coating my forehead and then…
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing. All the worry, for naught. I stifled my giggle of embarrassment. How silly! The creak must have been much louder to me than it could have been all the way down the hall. It was difficult to keep in the laughter, but I managed, grinning like an embarrassed little school girl. Aha, the girl I was, in fact!
Shut. Up.
"Yes Oyashiro-sama," I whispered dryly. I shook my head, erasing the completely inappropriate humor creeping into my thoughts.
The steady reassurance stiffened my muscles again, and then released them, filling me with agility. I quickly took careful steps, a second apart at the least, until, at last I reached my desitination. It was then that the thought hit me; how loud will this door creak? Frowning, I slipped the cleaver behind my back with my left hand, taking a grip on the doorknob with my right. I took a deep breath, and pulled it open slowly. Much to my relief, it opened smoothly. The dim light from the hallway slightly illuminated the pitch-black room, leaving my eyes to adjust much easier. I took a step into the room, gingerly closing and locking the door behind me. There was a rise in the pale yellow sheets of the metal-frame bed in the corner.
Almost there, Rena…almost there.
Such reassuring words from my coveted deity warmed my heart, despite the gruesome task he was encouraging me to do. Two long, swift steps toward the bed and I was above the green-haired sleeping beauty. Why I had to kill one so close to me was beyond my comprehension, but it didn't matter. With her out of the way, I would be forgiven, and have a certain someone more open to my love, without her interference. Ashamed of myself, I sighed. I knew these selfish thoughts, stalling the process I had to carry out, angered my deity. I gritted my teeth, and raised the cleaver high above my head, taking careful aim at her neck…and swung.
