Keep Pretending

As her mind wandered from the report she was meant to be writing, she dropped her pen and leaned back in her chair. As she stared at the empty desk across from her an image of Danny kissing her as he lowered her onto said desk popped unbidden into her mind. She stared, completely lost in her thoughts. She chewed her lip as the scene played out in her head.

"Morning." She jumped as his mumbled greeting jolted her from her daydream.

"Morning." She replied unable to stop herself from turning red as she studiously avoided making eye contact.

They spent the morning doing paperwork, neither one making small talk and both actively avoiding eye contact. The few times their eyes did meet they both quickly, and not very subtly, averted their gaze.

"Baez?" She snapped out of her thoughts to find him standing beside her desk.

"Huh?"

"Do you want more coffee?" He asked glancing at the empty mug on her desk.

"Oh, yeah, thanks." She replied looking up but not at him. They both grabbed for her mug reaching it at the same time, their hands touched and both pulled back quickly. Danny sighed, picked up her mug and carried it over to the pot of coffee. Baez watched as Danny picked up the pot and poured the first cup.

She thought back to Saturday and wondered, for the umpteenth time, if there was something else she could have done. Some other way she could have played it that didn't involve kissing him. But you wanted to kiss him, you've wanted to for years, the little voice inside her head reminded her. She sighed and looked away as he turned around and carried the coffees back over.

"Thanks." She smiled as he placed the mug on her desk. She glanced up, accidentally making eye contact. He gave her a small smile and she quickly looked back to her paperwork.

"Ok, that's it, we have to talk." Said Danny.

"Here?" She asked uncomfortable.

"Interview room?" He suggested. She nodded, stood and followed him.

He held open the door for her, followed her in and closed the door behind them. They stood several feet apart.

"Look…"

"Danny…" They both spoke at once.

"You go." He told her.

"I'm sorry." She told him, her eyes downcast.

"For what?" He asked. She didn't answer just lifted her eyes to meet his, the look she gave telling him what she was referring to, and then looked back down.

"Hey..." He started, then paused waiting until she to looked at him.

"You didn't do anything wrong. You did what you had to do to maintain our cover." He reassured her.

"But now everything's…" She trailed off not sure how to even have the conversation.

"Yeah..." He agreed. An uncomfortable silence fell between them, the only noise was their breathing.

"Look, we were undercover, it wasn't real, it doesn't mean anything." He said telling himself as much as her. She glanced up, one look was all it took for her to see he was as unconvinced as she was but she knew they had to get past this, so she followed his lead.

"You're right. We were just acting. No big deal right?" She straightened up and headed for the door.

"Are we going to be ok?" He asked as he reached out and gently grabbed her arm.

She turned and looked down at his hand then slowly raised her eyes to meet his. When their eyes met they froze, suddenly very aware of their proximity. She saw his eyes widen and her heart started racing. She became acutely aware of the heat radiating from his body and the temperature rising in her own. They found themselves irresistibly drawn to each other as if their bodies were the opposite poles of two magnets. She saw his eyes flick down to her lips and back up and subconsciously parted her lips.

There was a loud crash from the bullpen. They jumped at the sound and immediately distanced themselves. They stared at each other, shocked at just how much they affected each other. After a few seconds Danny moved to the door. He put his hand on the handle then turned to look at her.

"It doesn't mean anything." He repeated convincing no one. She just nodded and he turned the handle, opened the door and walked out.

She leaned back against the wall and released a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She took a few seconds to compose herself and left the room.

She got back to her desk and looked over to find his empty.

"Went to the bathroom." Volunteered a detective at the next desk over. She nodded in acknowledgement and took her seat. She rested her elbows on the desk and her chin on one hand. She stared at the reports on her desk so lost in her head she didn't even see them. She focused on slowing her heart rate, telling herself nothing had happened. It almost did, you wanted it to and so did he, the voice in her head chimed in. She came out of her thoughts as he passed by her desk five minutes later and took his seat opposite her. She kept her eyes glued to her desk, picking up one of the reports and trying to concentrate on it. After a few seconds she stole a glance at him and saw he was very purposefully focused on the report he was typing. She sighed internally as she realised, even with time, things would never fully go back to the way they were. You know what you have to do, she told herself, just keep pretending.