8
"Dreams"
The train rolled away from Hogsmeade with a dreadfully slow blow of a whistle as Ginny sat alone in a compartment, sighing sadly. Dumbledore's funeral had ended, signifying the horrid truth that; no matter how hard someone hoped otherwise, he was gone. His voice of kind authority wouldn't be heard in the Great Hall next year, if there even was a next year. He wouldn't be there to bestow his wisdom or courageous smile to the school when fear overwhelmed the classrooms.
These things should've been the cause for the foreign tears falling down Ginny's cheeks, but it wasn't. Her thoughts could only go back to that morning when Harry had ended their relationship that she had waited for since her first year at Hogwarts.
"It's been like…like something out of someone else's life, these last few weeks with you. But I can't…we can't…I've got things to do alone now." he said with that heroic voice that made her melt, even though she didn't let it show. She tried to be stronger now, to show that fire that everyone said they could see in her eyes.
But secretly, she cried for Harry; for the visit he would be making to Godric's Hollow, for the terrors he would face there. She hated Harry for not letting her leave with him; hated him for ending what she had thought would be a long life of happiness. But she never let these feelings show to anyone, not even Hermione, who knew everything that she had gone through waiting for Harry. These were her secret pains, hidden fears, silent tears.
Ginny stared out the window, taking in the summer's day that seemed colder than usual. The gloomy atmosphere fit her mood perfectly; a sad sigh in a gloomy storm.
Insignificant. That's how she felt, even though she had become an unexpected enemy of the Death Eaters by her work in the Department of Mysteries and the fight in Hogwarts the night Dumbledore had fallen from the Astronomy Tower to the grass below. Everything was meaningless without Harry. Her own life seemed meaningless without his embrace; his kiss.
As his face raced through her mind, her eyes began to close with voices drifting through the passages of windy dreams. Clouds surrounded her conscience with fuzzy sensation as she drifted into uncomfortable slumber.
An image unfolded before her, a dreary silence expanding to reveal Ginny, sitting in what seemed to be her room at the Burrow, but it had changed; she had changed. Her eyes didn't hold that fire they were once known for, they only held regret and pain.
She sat alone on her bed, looking out the window with longing. It was raining. A single tear began to roll down her pale cheek, telling whoever might see that she was broken.
As the rain pattered on the roof and slashed at the window, feeding her weary eyes with gloom and her eyes closed with coming slumber, the door opened slowly, creaking on its hinges. She opened her eyes slightly, a smile trying hard to surface.
It was Harry…
She stood, feeling awkward around him, like they hadn't been close at all. Like they hadn't been in love…
"What are you doing here?" she asked nervously, staring at her hands that were now clenched into anxious fists.
"I had to see you."
"What for? You said we couldn't be, that Voldemort might use me to get to you. That everything you love might be destroyed; including me." she frowned, looking into his eyes, getting lost in their depths and fearlessness.
"I can't stop thinking about you…the pain I've caused you and the days I've spent without you. I think I'd rather be tortured by every Death Eater and Voldemort himself then go through the agony of living without you. Will you come with me?"
Ginny awoke from this dream, never knowing her answer. She looked out the window; rain had begun to fall, like the tears that she couldn't hold in.
"It seemed so real, I almost believed that he was here, calling me to go away with him…I guess I'm just losing it." she sighed, closing her eyes wearily, hoping for peaceful dreams.
Fuzzy images raced past her in excited motion, but gloomy scenery revealed itself again, but this time in the Weasley's kitchen. Ginny sat in between Ron and Mrs. Weasley, head down and her pale face saddened with little sleep. Mr. Weasley sat at the head of the table, his face hidden behind a copy of the Daily Prophet, humming a sad tune. Ginny picked aimlessly at her food, never meeting anyone's gaze.
"Hmm, says here, 'known Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange has disappeared as of July 13th, no one has been found with any evidence to explain this disappearance.' Well, maybe she's been killed, as many have hoped."
"Maybe Harry killed her!" Ron grinned widely.
"I don't think it was Harry, Ron. Come and looks at this!"
Ron stood, walking over to Arthur with a fearful grimace. As he stood behind their father, his expression changed from fear to hate within seconds of glancing at the hidden front page. He looked away, hiding his emotions from his mother and sister.
"What's the matter, dad?" Ginny asked, rising to her feet, fear shining in her eyes.
"Ginny," her mother grabbed her hand in comfort, and Ginny knew what was coming. "Ginny, he's gone."
"Voldemort?"
"Well yes…but, in his attempt and success against Voldemort, Harry was…killed as…well."
Ginny couldn't think, couldn't breathe. She could only scream…How could this happen? He was supposed to be the hero, the one who succeeds and survives. Now what was Ginny left with? The desperate screams? The nightmares?
Ginny screamed herself awake, catching herself in frantic thrashing and painful knots. "Nightmares," she thought. "Now I'm having nightmares about him?"
She sat up straight, trying to stop herself from daydreaming, scared of what she might see. But all that ran through her head now were just memories. Memories of Harry flooded her mind.
Like when he had kissed her for the first time after she had won the Quidditch Cup; when she had first walked through the corridors hand in hand with him, creating uproar for many fifth year girls.
But nothing could match the endless nights they had sat by the fire in the Common Room in one another's arms, treasuring the silence. She had felt completely safe when he had held her close, like she was the only one on earth other than him. They only knew of each other. They were the only ones alive.
Now they were separated by Harry's tasks and battles that Ginny desperately wished she could join. But there was no use in trying. Harry wouldn't allow it.
Tears came falling with renewed fury down her cheeks as she glanced around the now dark compartment. She liked it that way, dark and empty. It reminded her of herself, having her heart given away and never given back.
Suddenly, the compartment door slid open to reveal a cheerful silhouette. A light flicked on and Hermione's voice resounded, but Ginny couldn't see through the bright lights.
"Ginny, we're almost to Kingscross, get your stuff gathered." Hermione smiled.
"Ok, I'll be there soon; I just have to wake up a bit."
