It's my first fanfic so please review!
Tearing down the Wall
Like every other night I was whimpering. It became a routine as if my body new that is was time to cry. His name, reference or appearence was all I needed to start. Dad. Sometimes I would find myself crying and laughing. Sometimes I just couldn't cry.
Today. To most it is the present, the time to live, laugh and smile. For me it was a dwelling day. Remembering yesterday; praying for tomorrow. Life has always seemed like an obligation rather than a gift. I feel like there is someone or something that is hovering over me telling me I have to live. My rebellious soul thinks, well I'll live but not happily at least not on the inside.
Thinking was my life; I lived within the walls of my reverie. School was the only place where I felt in tacked. I wasn't the emo girl who sat by herself and wore all black. No, I lived as best as I could on the outside. Friends I had, enemies too. People where people, they saw right through as if I wasn't there but I really didn't mind. I used to dream that there would be this one person that would come and save me ,that one person who new everything about me. Who knew that within my soul I was crying gasping for air?
Right now I was the bus waiting to arrive at school. I was listening to my ipod and sipping my coffee. My mother said it was bad for me but I never really listened to her. I looked out the window at the clouds. I gazed at the shapes wondering if clouds where meant to tell a story. As I sat and gazed I vaguely remembered someone sitting next to me. I felt an icy finger poke my arm. Even through my long sleave shirt I could feel it. Curiosity struck me and I turn to face him. I felt like I could her bells, not only was it the very first time that I had responded to an outsider but the first time I felt this electricity. I could tell behind his eyes that he too had felt it. I felt my tongue dance in my both trying to say something but my mouth was locked shut. He interrupted my thoughts and replaced it with the musical sound of his voice, "Hi, I am Edward, Cullen, Edward Cullen."
It had seemed that my mind was processing and trying to figure out what to say. What the hell is my name? Why can't I say something? After what seemed like an infinite amount of time he turned away. I started hyperventilating and I could feel my heart immediately. I thought I heard him snicker but I was to busy thinking about what would happen if I spoke to him. With much trouble I was finally able to force the words out, "I'm Bella Swan."
"I know." He said with such ease it amazed me.
"How? How do you know?"
"Well Isabella why everyone knows you. If you haven't notice you are the topic of everyone's conversation." There, he said the most hurt full words a person could utter to me. As if reading my mind his facial expression turned from a smile to a grimace, "I'm sorry. Its just I assumed that it was something good and exciting they were talking about. I assumed you had won the lottery or you were dating the most popular guy or something fantastic, but from your expression I know I am mistaken. I'm really sorry." I thought I heard him whisper, "great now the prophecy will never come true."
Trying to lighten the mood I replied, "s'okay, you know what happens when you assume anyway," based on his confused expression I whispered, "you know you make an ass of u and me." The bus filled with his musical laughter.
"As long as we are asses together I'm okay with that." No it's not possible that he could have just said that. It must be my schiaphrenia talking.
Edward's POV
For a person to suddenly find out that there destiny has arrived is shocking. I knew that one day I would find her but not today. Jasper could feel my emptiness all throughout the years. He knew that unlike him or Emmet the only thing that could make me happy was love. I don't remember my human life that well unfortunately but I do remember on thing, the love my parents shared. They always had a different look on their faces when they looked at each other. It was like nothing in the world mattered to them. It was just them. My mother gave me her wedding ring when we were in the hospital. My father had passed away only a day ago so it shocked me. The only words I remember my mother uttering are "Take it. You are not going to die. I belong with your father it is our destiny. He went and now I have to as well. Give this ring to the girl of your dreams. You will find her my son. You are just like your father and you deserve what we have. I love you." These words were more of a command then anything else. My mother was trying to convince herself I would be okay without her. She was right I am okay but the one thing I have been searching for is the person that looks at me like my mother looked at my father.
Carlisle, Esme, Emmet and Jasper are all my family. I consider them my family. I have and always will love them with all my heart, but part of me knows there will always be a space in my heart for one more person. Carlisle told me that one day we would move to a new state and I would find her. As soon as we were confined in the same place I would know. I like to believe that I lived through these words. There was a book about the destiny of one Edward Masen and Isabella Sawn, together they would be the greatest of them all. I knew that I was Edward Masen because my last name in my human life was Masen. I needed to find this Isabella Swan, I needed to finally be loved.
Today was my very first day going to school in Washington. It was the only state that could accommodate our specifications that I had not lived in. We didn't want to get any more attention then we already would so Jasper, Emmet and I decided to take the bus. I was standing in the rain waiting for the bus to come. I didn't care that I was completely soaked, I didn't care that the bus driver was waiting for me to get on the bus. The only thing I felt was this magnetic pull on my non-existent soul. It was the first time I felt human, the first time I felt like I had a soul. I heard her heart beating slowly and painfully as if she was struggling to breath. I got on the bus and sat next to her. I didn't really know why but I new I had to. I vaguely remember Carlisle's words and wondered if this was the girl. Isabella Swan. The name rolled of my tongue as I whispered it to myself. I listened to the thoughts of her peers. Does he not understand what he is doing?
Why is he siting next to her. I am so much more beautiful
I wonder if he knows Isabella Swan is the town talk
As all these thoughts ran through my head I wondered what was so special about her. Excited to find out, I completely forgot to check her thoughts. I felt my hand lift and my long icy index finger toucher her soft arm. She turned her head ever so slowly and stared at me. Her expression shocked me. It was as if she was preparing herself for the pain. "Hi, I'm Edward, Cullen, Edward Cullen," I stammered. How could this insignificant human have such an affect on me?
"Hi, I'm Bella Swan," her sweet voice flew through my ears and I had to try hard as to not freak out then and there.
"I know," I replied obviously
"How? How do you know me?"
"Well Isabella why everyone knows you. If you haven't notice you are the topic of everyone's conversation." I looked like I had just killed her dog or something. I could tell she was trying very hard as not to cry. I had no idea what I had done to this angel but I new I had to change it and fast, "I'm sorry. Its just I assumed that it was something good and exciting they were talking about. I assumed you had won the lottery or you were dating the most popular guy or something fantastic, but from your expression I know I am mistaken. I'm really sorry." I then said something very stupid, "great now the prophecy will never come true." At least I whispered, the chances she heard that are slim. Jasper scolded me and told me he just felt a douse of confusion from her. Fantastic.
As to lighten the mood I suppose she replied, s'okay, you know what happens when you assume anyway," I was confused and she noticed. She whispered, "You know you make an ass of u and me." I laughed and suddenly remembered my powers.
"As long as we were asses together I'm ok with that." I decided it was time to her what my angel was thinking. It was harder than I thought but slowly I heard
He didn't just say that, it must be my mind talking. Why is he even here? God why are you torturing me so? Why tease me with love? I know it will never actually happen so then why do I feel so drawn to him? Its as if I have given him all my thoughts and access to my mind. I snickered at that thought but I wondered what she meant by her "mind talking". I made a mental note to ask Carlisle about it later.
I came off the bus and walked right next to her. She seemed to be deep in thought which frustrated me. Why can't I read her mind? Why does she have the power to block me as she wishes? I wondered if part of our connection was my curiosity to find out about her.
Bella's POV
We arrived at school and for some reason I felt different. I didn't really understand the feeling but I liked it. It was as if the air shifted and I felt lighter. I didn't carry all the guilt, frustration, angriness and sadness that I normally carried. I entered my reverie again as I was walking into school. I was wondering why there were so many stares in my direction. They normally did stare but this was more than normal. I realized that Edward was walking with me. It was like we were two pieces of a puzzle put together. I felt his gaze on me so I turned my head. I regretted it instantaneously, his face was composed with so much love and lust my knees felt weak. I didn't understand the look. How can someone have a look of love for me? Let alone lust ? Was it even possible for someone to love me? It was like my thoughts were an open book because he turned to me nodded and then walked off. It could just be my imagination but I think there was a double meaning to that nod. I looked at him as he walked off and felt like I was being torn to pieces. I wanted Edward to stay with me. As soon as that thought entered my mind I knew I was dangerously but completely in love with Edward Cullen.
Edward's POV
I felt weird walking with Bella. Every new place my family went to we always got stares of lust from humans. This time people were staring at my Bella with disgust. I wondered if it was jealousy or true hatred. Jasper looked at me wondering the same thing.
These humans are bipolar. Some hate her and some are jealous. Some feel like she is an insect and some guys want her. This is too much Edward more than any other school.
I looked at him briefly showing I understood. Just when I was turning to leave I heard the voice of an angel.
Why are there so many stares today? I didn't do anything since last week. Why is Edward here? Is this an omen or just God teasing me?
I gazed at her with love and worry and she looked at me with such a painful look. How can someone have a look of love for me? Let alone lust? Is it even possible for someone to love me? Then her thoughts went quiet. Carlisle said that as she gets more comfortable with me, her wall would go down. I looked at her and wanted so much to tell her I loved her. I nodded my head to let her know I was leaving but to also say that I could love her. As I walked away her wall went down a little. The only thing I heard was, I am dangerously but completely in love with Edward Cullen. If a vampire good every blush I would have.
Hope you enjoyed! there is more to come i promise :)
