1Tapan: I have created a completely pointless little ficcie doohickey! Praise me!
Torna/reading a paper/ That's very nice. Now go play.
Jhkitty/sleeping/
Tapan: .../ Picks Jhkitty up, screaming/ I wrote STUFF!
Jhkitty/ scratches Tapan and falls back asleep/
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or the song "If you were gay" by Avenue Q. I wanna see that show.
Warning: Not really RAPR, but accusing Red of being gay. Sorta. Flame if you wish!
((On the Massive. Red is reading something calmly. Oh how boring the red Tallest is. But he is happy with it!))
PURPLE
(floating in to the room)
Oh,hi
Red!
RED
(grumbles)
Hi
Pur.
PURPLE
Hey
Red, you'll never
Guess
what happened to
Me
at Conventia this morning.
This
guy was smiling at me and talking to me
RED
(uninterested)
That's
very interesting.
PURPLE
He
was being real friendly,
And
I think he was coming on to me...
I
think he might've thought I was gay!
RED
(pauses)
Ahem,
so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why
should I care?
I
don't care!
What
did you have for lunch today?
PURPLE
Oh,
you don't have to get
All
defensive about it, Red...
RED
(interrupts, all defensive-like)
I'm
NOT getting defensive!
What
do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm
trying to read.
PURPLE
Oh,
I didn't mean anything by it, Red.
I
just think it's something we should be able to talk about.
RED
I
don't want to talk about it,
Purple!
This conversation is over!
PURPLE
Yeah,
but...
RED
(angry)
OVER!
PURPLE
(turns on some music)
Well,
okay, but just so you know —
IF
YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D
BE OKAY.
I
MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D
LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE
YOU SEE,
IF
IT WERE ME,
I
WOULD FEEL FREE
TO
SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT
I'M NOT GAY.)
RED
Pur,
please!
I
am trying to read... (goes back to reading and looks up to see
Purple still staring)
What!
PURPLE
(still singing)
IF
YOU WERE QUEER
RED
Ah,
Purple!
PURPLE
I'D
STILL BE HERE,
RED
Pur,
I'm trying to read this book.
PURPLE
(ignores him)
YEAR
AFTER YEAR
RED
Purple!
PURPLE
BECAUSE
YOU'RE DEAR
TO
ME,
RED
Argh!
PUPRLE
AND
I KNOW THAT YOU
RED
What?
PURPLE
WOULD
ACCEPT ME TOO,
RED(
skeptically)
I
would?
PURPLE
IF
I TOLD YOU TODAY,
"HEY!
GUESS WHAT,
I'M
GAY!"
(BUT
I'M NOT GAY.)
I'M
HAPPY
JUST
BEING WITH YOU.
RED
(trying to throw him off)
High
Button Shoes, Pal Joey...
PURPLE
SO
WHAT SHOULD IT
MATTER
TO ME
WHAT
YOU DO IN BED
WITH
GUYS?
RED
(eyes widen)
Pur,
that's GROSS!
PURPLE
No
it's not!
IF
YOU WERE GAY
I'D
SHOUT HOORAY!
RED
(covers earspots)
I
am not listening!
PURPLE
AND
HERE I'D STAY,
RED
(Closes eyes tightly, still covering earspots)
La
la la la la!
PURPLE
BUT
I WOULDN'T GET
IN
YOUR WAY.
RED
Aaaah!
PURPLE
(stands by him and holds his shoulders)
YOU
CAN COUNT ON ME
TO
ALWAYS BE
BESIDE
YOU EVERY DAY,
TO
TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,
YOU
WERE JUST BORN
THAT
WAY,
AND,
AS THEY SAY,
IT'S
IN YOUR DNA,
YOU'RE
GAY!
RED
(pulls at his antennea)
BUT
I'M NOT GAY!
PURPLE
If
you were gay.
RED
Argh!
Tapan: Yessss, READ the pointlessness! You are now under mah spell. MWAHAHAHAHA!
Jhkitty: o.O She has finally gone completely insane.
Torna/ continues to flip through the paper/ You mean she wasn't before?