Disclaimer: I do not own Boku no Hero Academia or its characters

Warning: Referenced Suicide, and rated T for swearing

"Our next story tonight, a 14-year-old student from Orudera Middle School has been found dead by a janitor earlier this morning. The student was found motionless at the foot of the school building in a pool of blood. Police have not ruled out the possibility of foul play by a villain or criminal, but preliminary evidence given to us believe that the cause of death is by suicide. This is a developing story, so stay tuned. In other news…"

It is not often that Bakugou Katsuki could be found sitting on the sofa watching the evening news on a Friday evening. He couldn't care less for the petty, little lives of others. But his mother had forced him to join her, the older woman appearing worried out of her mind.

Apparently, her good friend, Midoriya Inko, had called to tell her that her son had been missing since the afternoon when school ended. She came back from work to find the apartment empty, with no trace of him there. Inko hoped that Midoriya had been over at the Bakugou residence, but Bakugou Mitsuki had to deliver the bad news. Her son wasn't here. Nonetheless, she promised to keep her updated about any news regarding Midoriya.

Mitsuki had sat down to watch the news after dinner. Perhaps there might be something regarding the green-haired boy. It didn't appear as so at first, until the news of the suicide at Orudera came on.

Truth be told, it piqued Bakugou's interest a tiny bit, not that he will ever admit that to his mother. If the suicide happened at his school, then it will be the talk of the town next Monday when students returned. Not that he would be interested in the gossip anyway.

But what the news anchor had to say next dropped the metaphorical bombshell.

"This is just in. We have received the details of the autopsy done by the coroner. The death has been confirmed to be a suicide. The coroner has also released the identity of the student. His name, is Midoriya Izuku. His picture will be displayed on your screens now."

The can of soda that Bakugou had been holding fell from his grip, landing with a 'thunk' and a splatter as the contents spilled over the floor. There it lay, liquid spewing out, forming a puddle around it, completely ignored by the two pairs of wide eyes staring at the screen.

Staring back at them, is the face of Midoriya Izuku. It is a formal picture, taken to be placed on a ID card. Midoriya had a small smile, customary of many ID photos, and his eyes were blank, as they should be for an occasion like that.

The living room stays silent, save for the anchor's voice. Bakugou sits, frozen, staring at the face of the boy he bullied relentlessly. Ever since they were five, when it became clear that Midoriya was quirkless, he spearheaded the campaign to make the boy's life a living hell. The daily taunts, beatings, everything leading up to the blonde telling Midoriya to dive off the roof of the school. And it really did happen. Midoriya Izuku is dead. It is final. There are no compromises or negotiations. He is gone, no longer amongst the living.

Bakugou barely hears his mother's shocked voice, horrified at what happened. At the same time, she laments over how the poor boy wasted his life by taking it into his own hands, snuffing it out with such a pointless act.

Bakugou doesn't hear anything else after that.

The next few days were a somber time for all those who knew Midoriya Izuku. His bereaved mother came to identify the body of her son, sobbing uncontrollably when the shroud covering Izuku's face was pulled away.

Funeral services were immediately planned. Naturally, Bakugou and his family attended the wake. To everyone's surprise, All Might, the Symbol of Peace and the nation's top hero, made a surprise attendance at the wake. The hero gave his reasons for coming - he had met Midoriya after saving the boy from the exact same slime villain that nearly did Bakugou in, and he had dashed the poor boy's dreams of becoming a hero when asked if he could become one despite the lack of quirk.

All Might wanted to apologize to Inko, for having a part to play in her son's death. But the older woman wanted none of that, merely thanking the top hero for coming to pay his respects for her beloved son whom he was a role model to.

Mitsuki spent the entire time by her grieving friend's side, her husband standing off to one corner leaving the two women to mourn in peace. Bakugou himself sat away from the adults, silently watching other mourners comfort and grief with one another.

Everyone spoke in hushed whispers. Most were incoherent to Bakugou's ears, but a few sentences managed to slip into his ears. All of it carried the same topic. Waste, a waste of a life, a life never to be fulfilled, goals to never be fulfilled, opportunities never to be taken. All wasted, because of an act of finality.

Bakugou turns his ears away from the other mourners, and stare at the casket, holding the body of his childhood friend, and victim. Izuku lies, unmoving, in the brass-inlayed wooden casket, dressed in a black suit, clutching a bouquet of lilies. His eyes closed, lips shut in a neutral line. Peaceful, he appeared.

Peaceful…something that Bakugou himself does not feel at that particular moment. He knew. He knew he was the main cause of his friend's suicide. It was his words that was the trigger, the final push. He himself, is the reason why all those around him were muttering about a wasted life.

If anything, Izuku didn't waste his own life by suicide. Bakugou was the one. He wasted his childhood friend's life.

The burial came next. It didn't rain on that day. That would have been far too clichéd, and Bakugou hated clichés. It was overcast though, with the inclusion of the occasional flash of lightning and rumble of thunder.

If there was a heaven, they didn't cry with the rest of the mourners, especially Inko. She broke down as her son's casket was lowered into the ground, six-feet under. Bakugou felt the tears come, but he willed them back, turning away slightly. The priest gave some final words, and the burial was over.

The mourners all trekked back to their cars. Mitsuki helped her grieving friend back to the car, with her son and husband closely following behind. She asked Inko if she wanted to stay with them for the time being.

"No…no thanks." the grieving mother replies, "It's very kind of you. But I shouldn't impose…and I need to mourn on my own for a while."

Mitsuki nods in understanding, and does not ask further. She starts up the engine, and joins the other cars in leaving the cemetery. Bakugou sits at the backseat with his father, not speaking a word. He stares out the window, watching the sky grow more overcast, with the occasional flash of lightning.

If there was a heaven, they were probably mad at him. For pushing someone to take their life, to end it without possibility of returning. His hands, the same appendages that produce explosions, had metaphorical blood on them. Never can be washed off, to be constantly there to remind Bakugou on the life he destroyed and wasted.

The next two days pass slowly. Bakugou lives through those days in silent despondence. He doesn't utter a single curse word during those two days, let alone let rip an explosion.

His parents believe he is quietly mourning his childhood friend, and left him alone as much as possible. Bakugou could almost snort, if he wasn't feeling so damn guilty.

The third day came, as it always will. As Bakugou sleeps, Mitsuki hears the doorbell ring. When she opens the door, she sees Inko standing at the doorway.

"Inko, what a surprise. Is something the matter?"

"I've come to give Katsuki-kun a package." the green-haired woman replies, voice slightly weary.

"Oh, he's still asleep." said Mitsuki, "Do you want to come in?"

"No, it's alright." Inko responds, "I have things to do at home. But could you pass this to him for me?"

"Sure thing." Mitsuki nods, taking the package from her friend's hands, "Do you want me to send you home?"

"No, no. It's okay. I can go back on my own. Thanks for your help, Mitsuki." Inko smiles.

"Your welcome, take care."

With that, the conversation ends. Inko turns around, and takes her leave. Mitsuki watches her go, before closing the door behind her. She takes a look at the package. Nothing out of the ordinary, a rather large box wrapped with brown wrapping paper tied together with a string. On the paper, Bakugou's name is written.

Mitsuki takes the package up to her son's room, and knocks on the door. There is no response. She knocks again, louder this time. Finally, she hears the sound of a quilt being shifted, and the undeniable sound of footsteps.

The door opens, her son's sleep-riddled, weary face poking through.

"What is it, old hag?"

Normally, Mitsuki would have given her son an earful for the insult. This time though, she stays silent. She wordlessly pushes the package towards the door, her son's eyes falling on it.

"What's this?"

"Auntie Inko was here not too long ago." she replies, "She passed me this. It's for you."

Bakugou stares at it for a moment longer. He takes it from his mother's hands, and closes the door behind him. Mitsuki sighs, walking away from the doorway to give her son some peace.

Bakugou sits down his bed again, staring at the package. He sees his name on it. But what surprises him is that he recognizes how his name is written on the paper.

'Deku? Why did the fucking nerd send me this?'

Curiosity getting the better of him, Bakugou unties the string, and pulls the wrapping paper off. He opens the cardboard box.

Notebooks. A4 sized. All of them identical. Bakugou instantly recognized them as the notebooks Midoriya would often be seen scribbling notes about heroes and their quirks into. And he should know, since he destroyed one of those notebooks in the run-up to those fateful words that he sneered at his former classmate.

There were a total of thirteen notebooks inside the box. But perhaps the one that hits Bakugou the most, is the last one he pulls out of the box, distinctly charred and water-damaged. It was the same notebook he destroyed. But the box hadn't finished unloading its contents just yet. At the bottom, underneath the last, charred, thirteenth notebook, is a letter, wrapped inside an envelope, his name written on the front.

Putting the notebooks to one side, Bakugou picks out the letter, and tears the envelope open. He pulls the papers out, and began to read. Right away, his hands holding the letter start to tremble.

Kacchan,

They say opportunities come and go. Sometimes, people let opportunities pass, because they believe that that particular opportunity has no impact, no meaning to them. It will not impact their lives in any positive way, so they let it pass them by, and move on.

Sometimes, people let opportunities pass them by because they are complacent, or waited too long. By the time they act, it might be too late. The opportunity had long gone, leaving them with nothing but pain, regret, and self-loathing.

But sometimes, people want to catch onto an opportunity, but they aren't able to. Perhaps it is beyond their abilities, or somebody else took it faster than they did. Who knows?

But what I do know is, I wanted to be a hero. But I don't have a quirk. I don't have a quirk that can aid me in becoming a hero. I could not latch onto the opportunity to become a hero, because I was unable to.

I was blind to that fact. I was naïve. I thought that somehow, I can still become a hero despite the lack of a quirk. Kacchan, I know the last nine years of our lives has been anything but pleasant. You bullied me, insulted me, taunted me, beat me up. But at the same time, perhaps inadvertently, you helped me see that I don't have any hope of becoming a hero without a quirk.

You weren't the only one, as it turns out. I met All Might. Can you believe it? I met All Might, the top hero, the Symbol of Peace, my idol and my role model. I thought to myself, maybe I can find a way to become a hero, despite my lack of quirk, if I asked him. Surely, he must know, right?

But my hopes and dreams were dashed in front of my eyes. All Might said that I cannot become a hero, because I don't have a quirk. He said that perhaps I could become a police officer, or a doctor, someone who works with heroes and still saves lives.

Maybe I am being too single-minded, but it wasn't enough for me. But the point still stands, I had no hope of becoming a hero, because I don't have a quirk.

It was a real wake-up call for me. And it shed light on your actions towards me, Kacchan. You were right, I had no real possibility of becoming a hero. I should have stopped trying a long time ago, instead of wasting my time taking notes of heroes and their quirks. If I continued further, perhaps I would end up getting hurt, or killed, perhaps.

I still remember your words, telling me to leap off the roof of our school building. It sounded deplorable then…but now?

People say that opportunities come to everyone, but does everyone include me? People say those who choose to end their lives are stupid, idiots who are snuffing out the possibilities for opportunities to be caught and completed, and make their lives better. But is that really true?

For my case at least, it is hopeless. I'm prepared for whatever decision I choose to make next. It has nothing to do with you, Kacchan, this is my own doing. Perhaps I'm being selfish, but this has nothing to do with you. So don't feel guilty, okay?

Nonetheless, I want to also ensure that you take whatever opportunity that comes to you to become the best hero you can be. And that is why I am packing all of my notebooks, along with this letter, into the box that I hope will reach you someday.

You might disagree with why I am doing this. But just the other day, I overheard two of our teachers talking about you. They said your quirk has the potential to do amazing work, but at the same time, your quirk also has the potential to inflict great harm. And if you don't use your quirk for the right decisions, you might end up becoming a terrifying villain with the ability to heartlessly snuff out the lives of countless innocent souls.

Kacchan, I know that you want to become the top hero. But I fear for you. I fear that your personality and attitude will lead you down the path towards villainy. When that happens, it won't be just me whom you will, or have hurt.

That is why, I am packing in my notebooks for you. Consider it my final gift to you. I hope you will take them, study what I have written, and apply it to yourself. I hear that you are planning to get into U.A. High School, the top school where heroes are trained and sculpted. U.A. is indeed the best place for a hero-in-training like you. When you do get admitted, I hope my notebooks will come in handy then, and when you become a professional hero.

There is not much time left, I need to get ready. I don't want my mom to find out. I don't want to burden her anymore, so I will end here. I hope this package reaches you, Kacchan, and I hope you will not hesitate to catch any opportunity to help you on your path to become the top hero. Farewell, Kacchan, and don't forget, I will always be rooting for you!

Best regards, your childhood friend,

Deku

As Bakugou finishes reading the letter, his hands had been shaking uncontrollably. The old Bakugou would have blown up the letter and thrown the ashes away. But that was before Midoriya took his own life. Now that he is gone, this letter is the only form of connection he has to his former childhood playmate.

His will-power however, didn't stop three days' worth of tears from breaking out. The first droplets fell onto the letter, then more came. Bakugou let his arms fall to his sides, as he collapsed onto the bed, sobs echoing in the room.

'Stupid Deku…stupid…stupid fucking Deku…'

It takes a full week for Bakugou to fully get over Midoriya's passing. But the impact of his childhood friend's untimely end forever sticks with him. He no longer used his quirk on whim, his anger and explosiveness had mostly mellowed out, even his delinquent-like behavior has all but vanished.

In fact, the only times his anger and explosiveness resurfaced, was when someone, be it classmate or schoolmate, dissed Midoriya. Bakugou made it known that scumbags like them will bear the full force of his anger.

But at the same time, Bakugou didn't forget he was the main perpetrator, the main reason why Midoriya took his own life. And he had an obligation to perform, to not be seen by himself and others to be a hypocrite.

He hadn't found the courage to go to Inko, and apologize for causing her son's untimely death. Although, he had started to read Midoriya's notebooks, slowly sifting through page after page during breaks or in his room.

The last month of Bakugou's middle-school life passes by. Everyone seems to have moved on by then. Bakugou passes U.A.'s entrance exam, and gets admitted, the only one from the school to do so. But the achievement comes muted for the blonde. Partly the reason as to why he passed in the first place, had been down to Midoriya's notebooks.

Now that he is on the path to the top heroics high school in the country, Bakugou had one last thing to do, before he can finally move on.

On the first day of the high-school academic year, Bakugou is up earlier than usual. He slips on his U.A. uniform, and hurries down the stairs. He grabs a slice of toast from the counter, not stopping to finish it before hurrying towards the front door.

"Katsuki! Your breakfast-" Mitsuki calls after him.

"I don't need it!" he shouts back, slipping on his shoes and rushing out the door.

Mitsuki finds it strange that her son doesn't want his breakfast. But judging from how the past month or so has changed Bakugou, Mitsuki doesn't remain surprised for long. With a sigh, she returns to the kitchen to making sure the water is boiling for the tea.

Bakugou comes to stop, panting hard to catch his breath. Once he has stabilized his breathing, he straightens himself, staring at the apartment complex in front of him. In one of the three blocks, Midoriya's unit is situated.

To be honest, Bakugou was still apprehensive about showing up at the door of the Midoriya residence. After more than a month of silence, then to suddenly show up at the door to give a long-overdue apology is not something a normal person would do. Furthermore, he doesn't know if he will be forgiven for the sins he had committed.

But this was the only way to atone. This is to ensure that Midoriya's life wasn't a complete waste. Bakugou had to grab this opportunity now, to tie up loose ends…and to move on, and to make things right not just for himself, but for those directly and indirectly affected by Midoriya's death. He can't afford to wait any longer. He can't afford to let this opportunity pass him by.

The blonde sighs one last time as he made his way towards the front door. His hand reaches for the doorbell, hesitates for a moment, then presses it firmly, the chime ringing inside the apartment unit.

Bakugou hears the shuffled footsteps approaching the door, along with a muffled "Coming, coming.". The door opens, and there stands Inko, still looking tired and weary, but her eyes no longer red from crying.

"Oh! Katsuki-kun. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off to U.A. by now?" she asks out of curiosity.

Bakugou inwardly braces himself. This is for Midoriya.

"I'm…I'm sorry."

Hey everyone, this is SilentGhostWriter2017. I am also on Archive of Our Own, which is where this story was originally posted. Thanks once again for reading, and reviews will be greatly appreciated, though flaming will not be tolerated.

This is SilentGhostWriter2017, have a good evening.