... I never wanted it to hurt, you know? But.. hurting people is so easy. Just by whatever you say, it can make them fly away from you, so far away you can't even catch up to them, anymore. It hurts. Everything is so painful, and I can't even do anything about it. When there's someone that you thought you knew, a long time ago, someone you thought was a friend- no.. Family, even..
You laughed with them, had so much time spent with them, helped them through choices, gave them Determination, joked around with them, every single thing you could've done to help them, and you always wondered. 'Whatever I did, was it really enough to help them? Should I have done more than just that? I don't want to hurt them, but that's inevitable, right? What if they hate me? I don't want it to happen.. I just wanted us to be friends. Family. Just nice old pals. So.. why..'
"Pap.. Papyrus!? Where are you?" I screamed for my brother, pathetic as it sounded, I was absolutely terrified. A few minutes before.. something came from the ruins, into Snowdin. I didn't have a clue as to what they were, but they sent a shiver down my spine. I hated it. But, I continued to play along normally. Introducing myself with a whoopee cushion in my hand.
They turned around, having not a single drop of emotion on their face. I would've laughed if it didn't feel like I was about to die. The aura around them was overwhelming. Hell, it felt like they didn't even have an aura, or even a soul. I didn't understand it at all. They looked so familiar, though. Whoever they were.. I mean, I have been going through a lot of timelines, and I mean a LOT, but.. did I see a kid like this, before?
They showed absolutely no emotions in their face. Only a dead-eyed, evil look, like they've gone through some of the worst shit in the world. They didn't care. They didn't even bat an eye. It made me confused, angry. Fearful. There was the dust of a monster on their hands, their footsteps. It was all over their clothes, and the kid.. whatever they were, monster or not, didn't care.
When I saw that, the look in their eyes, I knew that I had to do something. As I played along, I was always watching them, when they knew I wasn't there. It looked as if they'd gone through all of this before, just like I have. This kid is the real monster, the nightmare that I've always seen when I sleep. Those small memories, terrible as they were, it was a sign.
They went through all of my brother's, Papyrus's puzzles, without even blinking, without changing emotions. None of the things they were doing made any sense. All of the things they did were terrifying. Papyrus didn't even notice what was going on until it was too late. He just kept on going through his puzzles, getting angry at what I told him was a 'human'.
Papyrus thought that humans would be tough, thought that they would love puzzles and traps, complicating troubles, thought they would love spaghetti, thought they'd be a challenge that he'd have to climb over. He knew that capturing a human wouldn't be easy at all, but with his determination and puzzle skills, he would get the human stuck, capturing them, and becoming a part of the Royal Guard, just like Undyne would want him to.
Unfortunately, that wouldn't happen in this timeline. Not with how screwed up things were.
As I watched them go through Snowdin, they did something that confused me. Right before they went into Snowdin Town, they kept on walking back and forth on the bridge, even though I warned them that if they kept on going on the route they were taking, they were gonna have a real bad time. When I teleported away, I ran into a yellow flower. It didn't have a face. Of course, why would flowers even have a face?
I hid behind the sign right when someone'd enter Snowdin. I looked at the.. kid, pacing back 'n forth, running into monsters, killing them, then continuing to walk back and forth on the bridge. The flower was at the furthest side, and I could've sworn that it looked different, or, each time the kid moved, it always looked at the kid. They moved up the bridge, the flower looked at 'em going up the bridge, they moved back, so did the flower's.. gaze? No, it shouldn't have eyes.
Right?
None of it was adding up. There was a single time I saw the kid freeze. They were fighting a monster, Cooldrake I think it was, and, even if it was for a split second, they froze, the look in their eyes, the emotionless bastard was gone, the place taken by an innocent, terrified human, with the look that said everything. They didn't want to do this. They didn't have to do this. They didn't have a choice. Why were they doing this? What horrible asshole would force a little kid to murder all of these innocent monsters? What kind of sick bastard would have such a mindset?
Then, just like as soon as it came, that look was gone, the murderer back, with a look of anger in it's eyes. It continued to stab Cooldrake, even as they were turning into dust. They wanted to kill something even bigger, even more harder to kill. So they paced back and forth on the bridge, until they paused. Nobody was gonna come. They stood there for awhile, grinning like a madman.
That was when I sprinted from my hiding place, running into every monster in Snowdin, telling them they had to evacuate immediately. No matter what they thought, like it was a prank or some junk like that, I forced them all to leave as quickly as they could. All of them except for a single kid believed me. I couldn't get that single one to evacuate, because they told me that we all had 'Undyne to protect us!' and, 'Gee, all of you adults are so terrified over the smallest of things..'. I agreed with the kid.
'Us adults' were so easily terrified, because we knew that even Undyne couldn't stop this kid. This creation of pure terror and determination to destroy everything in this world, and, even though the kid was small, they towered over all of us, even further than Asgore.. or the First Human.. would. Asgore was kind at heart, but will do anything to save the monsters, even if it meant killing off all of the humans. He only used violence as a last resort, and, even though he knew that killing was inevitable, it still hurt him and scarred him for his unending life-time.
What was worse was that I knew that this kid wouldn't stop at Asgore. Wouldn't stop at Mettaton. Wouldn't stop at Undyne. Wouldn't stop at Papyrus. Wouldn't stop at that beautiful voice that I heard in the Ruins almost every day, the lady who laughed so hard at my shitty puns, the lady who made me laugh with her great puns and jokes, the lady that was one of the first victims to that kid's hands.
So, I decided on something. If this kid is going to kill everyone in the Underground, he'll have to get through me, first. When the kid entered Snowdin, I was going to jump in front of him, attack him with everything I had, until I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder. I was in my house, making one last meal for Papyrus. I knew my brother wouldn't let me go. He knew what I was about to do, what I was going to end, even if it meant that I would die. I was weak, yes. I would die if I got hit once, sure.
None of that mattered to me. I was only living for Papyrus. If he died, then I'm prepared to die, as well. This kid doesn't know my real advantage in this fight. I'm living for Papyrus. So I'm prepared to sacrifice everything I have for him. He has so much to live for, and I'm just a worthless thing. Papyrus still has the light left in 'em, and I won't let that flame stutter.
The look in Pap's eyes, though.. it stopped me dead in my tracks. He wanted to sacrifice himself for me. He knew he would never get into the Royal Guard, he knew he would never be a well-known chef, he knew everything was going horribly wrong, and neither of us would last much longer. But, he thought that kindness was the answer. I didn't want him to go. I couldn't stop him. I couldn't do anything to stop him from going out that door.
I didn't watch what happened next. I thought that it would work, and he would go out there, happy, light-hearted, determined to get this kid set up in the right way. I believed in him. I believed that Papyrus would come back in the house, comfort me from crying from worrying like I always did, and he would laugh it off, showing me the kid who was standing right by the door, still apologizing from what they did, curled up in a ball, crying.
No matter how far away I was in the house, covering my ears, curled up in a ball in my room, I heard it. The single slash that ended my brother's life. I ran out from my room, out of my house, and into the cold, unforgiving weather of Snowdin. I saw the kid standing in front of my brother's head. God, that idiot.. he was still smiling.. even though it hurt him so much.. he was about to die, he was near tears, he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry..
but he was smiling. I heard his words, I heard his surprise, I heard his weak.. terrified.. voice I knew so.. so well.
"W-well.. that's not what I expected... But... St... Still! I believe in you! You can do a little better! Even if you don't think so!"
That's when I fell to my knees in the snow. My brother saw me, but only went back to staring at the soulless being in front of him. I wanted to kill the kid. I wanted to murder them. Make them feel my pain. Make them feel the sorrow of what I just saw. My own brother sacrificing himself for a piece of shit like me. What kind of crap was that? I wanted to understand, I wanted to know why, I wanted to run to him, but I knew that Papyrus would already be gone by then.
Even if I avenged my brother, what was the point? I couldn't save him. I couldn't reverse time, or it would keep on happening again, and again, and again. I can't handle that. Even if I tried to stop the emotionless kid, Papyrus would always stop me.
"I... I promise..." My brother whispered those words, and the kid just walked up to his skull, putting his right foot on him, and crushed what was left of Papyrus. That's when I cried. That's when I cried so hard, that I just curled up on the snow, wanting to die. The evil kid didn't even turn around. They only laughed, and it wasn't a light-hearted, 'haha, that was a good joke,' kind of laugh. It was the kind of laugh that echoed in your head, 'made you want to run away because you were so terrified of what would happen next, like if it was you that was going to die next', kind of laugh.
I've heard it before. It wouldn't be the last time I heard it, either.