Disclaimer: My friend and I don't own Jayfeather or the stick. Don't like it? TOO BAD! GET OVER IT!

Part One: BreakUp

"Stupid Stick." Thought Jayfeather as he walked away from the broken remains of his only connection to Rock and the ancient clans.

"Why don't you love me?" asked the stick

This made Jayfeather stop for a moment. Why doesn't he love the stick? The answer came to him immediately.

"You lied to me, you demon stick of the Dark Forest!" (Clan version of Hell in case you didn't know)

"I thought we had something special..." The stick cried for a bit then continued. "And I wasn't lying...I just wasn't tellling the truth."

"This is stupid. I'm talking to a lousy piece of wood." Jayfeather mummbled

The sticks next comment scared Jayfeather so much it haunts his dreams to this day.

"KISS ME! KISS ME LIKE I WANT YOU TOO!"

That's when Jayfeather got a crazy idea...

Disclaimer: AGAIN! MUST I SAY THIS EVERY CHAPTER? OKAY. I. DO NOT. OWN. JAYFEATHER. OR. THE. STICK GET IT?

Part Two: Crazy

Jayfeather's idea was a simple one. Start a fire near the edge of the lake, so as not to burn down this forest, and throw the stick in. The twolegs were doing this, and from what Lionblaze told him, they put their food in the fire and eat it later, but that's not the point. So after gathering some dry twigs and grass. (Reaitively easy as this Greenleaf had been rather dry) He left it out in the sun while he found the stick.

By the time he had gathered the stick a smalll fire had started. Without hesitation, Jayfeather threw the stick on to the fire and watched gleefully as it burst into flame. Jayfeather laughed evilly, he couldn't believe it, he had finally got his revenge. He listened carefully and made sure no cats were nearby to witness his...episode. Jayfeather laughed happily as he grabbed a bag of Jumbo Marshmellows and a new stick. Jayfeather put out the fire after he got bored and he carried his new stick over to a secret spot where no one would find it.

'I must remember this' he thought. 'Marshmellows go great with revenge'

Disclaimer: GAAAH! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD! I OWN NOTHING!

Part three: It's baaack...

Jayfeather...Jayfeather...I'm baaack...and I'm ready for some lovin'...

Jayfeather didn't dare open his eyes, for fear he would be in his den, blind, meaning it's all happpening for real.

"If I can't see you, you ccan't see me." He mummbled hoping the childish phrase would drive the stick away.

"Oh, but I can see you." Said the stick with a hint of contempt in it's voice.

"Go away," Warned Jayfeather, "Or I'll smash you again."

The stick just laughed. "I can't let you do that Jayfeather...You see..." The stick paused, than continued. "You see my love. I'm...pregnant."

"Say what!?!" Jayfeather yelled, then said, confused, "Wait...How does that even work?"

Than regretted that as he didn't want to know.

Discalimer: *Sob*

Part Four: Twix no more

"How could they be mine?" Asked Jayfeather

"You diidn't use protection." Said the stick

"Okay there is a million things wrong with that, but I'll pick the two most obvious." Said Jayfeather, exasperasted. "First I'm a cat, I have no thumbs so I can't work a condom, Second I used you to talk to Rock. I go into a trance and whatever you do to me, however creepy, I don't control."

"Okay, okay...I get it." Said the stick "Besides I'm not pregnant. I'm a guy stick, Oh and Rock say "Put your paws in da air and wave 'em like you just don't care!"

"I hate you." Said Jayfeather

"I loooove you, smexy cat." Said the stick

FIN