Pene
This story takes place in the lovely country of Spain. Antonio Fernandez was housing the Italian, Lovino Vargas. That evening Lovino tried to make pasta for Antonio.
"What the fuck kind of pasta do you want, you fucking fuck?" Lovino asked.
"Pene," Antonio replied and smirked weirdly.
"Penne?" Lovino confirmed, "whatever." Antonio gazed down at the floor, a bit disappointed. Somehow, Lovino has got every single fucking pasta in the whole universe at his fingertips. Sometimes, he goes out in the middle of the night to fight crime. They call him "The Masked Pasta" even though he doesn't wear a mask.
After they had dinner, Antonio tried again. They were sitting in silence when Lovino got up and said he was going to sleep. "Wait!" Antonio cried out. Lovino looked back at him, slightly pissed. This intimidated Antonio quite a bit. "W-why don't you sleep with me tonight?"
Lovino was about to tell him to fuck off when he thought about it for a second and finally decided to accept the offer.
They both got into the bed together. At first, they were laying in opposite directions. Then, Antonio rolled over and whispered into Lovino's ear, "I want pene" which makes no sense that he didn't just say the whole sentence in Spanish.
Lovino pushed him away, "we already had pasta you duck!"
Antonio looked disappointed again and said, "I want pene not penne."
Lovino looked at him like 'what the fuck dude' and asked, "the fuck is that?"
Antonio smirked. "Penis."
"You could have just said that you fucking idiot!" Lovino yelled. He took his clothes off smoothly and quickly. Just like what a masked pasta would do. Antonio took his clothes off… not so quickly.
They had hardcore homosexual sex, pasta coming off of Lovino's body like sweat. Antonio knew nothing about this beforehand and started freaking the fuck out and ruined everything.
Lovino has avoided him ever since.
The end.