A Trip to Reality
Bella was wandering through the woods with Edward.
"Oh Edward." she sighed. "I love you so much. You're handsome, you have great abs and you love me so much you break in to my house and watch me sleep at night. That's so romantic, especially because you're over one hundred but still love me despite the fact that I'm 17."
Edward glanced at her.
"Yeah. That's nice. Hey, look at me I sparkle. I'm so manly and I am a total stalker/pedophile/rapist. But that's okay, because I'm pretty!"
"Oh Edward I love you and have no personality whatsoever!"
"Oh Bella, I care nothing about you and constantly tell you to get out of my life!"
"It's true love!"
"INSERT RANDOM LION/LAMB COMMENT HERE."
"Oh Edward, you're so smart!"
MOVING ON!
Doctor Edward and Doctor Jacob were standing outside of the padded cell. Inside, a 17 year old girl with brown hair was in a straightjacket. She had drool running down her chin and an insane grin. She was flopping around on the ground.
"Oh Edward I love you you're perfect and handsome and sweet and kind and nice and wonderful and strong and brave and awesome and heroic and I love you!" she slurred out, twitching slightly.
The two most distinguished doctors at the Twilight Mental Hospital looked at one another.
"I'll go give her another dose." Dr. Jacob said reluctantly.
"Better you than me. She just rants at you. Every time I go in there she tries to molest me." Dr. Edward said with a shudder.
"Sucks to be you! Hey, wanna get a beer after we deal with this one?" Jacob said, grinning at his best friend and colleague.
"Sounds good. God knows we deserve it. Now go give the psychopath in there her anaesthetic already you coward." Edward shot back.
Jacob warily entered the cell.
"Hey Isabella." he said weakly.
"Please, call me Bella." she said, letting out a mad giggle.
"Erm... okay then. Well Bella, I have something for you that will deal with your headache." Jacob said, slowly advancing on the mad girl.
"Oh, that sounds great Jakey-Poo-"
She fell to the ground with her huge smile frozen on her face as Jacob withdrew the needle.
"She freaks me out." he muttered.
"Join the club. Now how about that beer?" Edward shot back at him. The pair locked the dooor, then headed off to sign out and find a pub.
AN: Come on, you gotta admit it has some validity to it!